Hetalia Adventures!
by mindprisoner
Summary: The countries(and sometimes states!) go on random adventures. Because why not. Updated daily.
1. Team America

"HAHAHAHAHA! Oh, cats, you never fail to make me LOL," America said. He was watching random youtube videos. At two in the morning. The night before a crazy important world meeting.

"Ok, I gotta go to sleep soon. Just one more video... HEY! America fuck yeah? Sounds like my kind of video! After all, I am the HERO!" And America proceeded to watch the Team America Theme song.

~World Meeting~

"Where is that wanker?" Britain said. America was 30 minutes late.(Cookie to whoever guesses why)

"As I recall, children tend to pick up habits from the one who raised them, and you were 3 minutes late," said France.

"Says the man who spend an hour on his bloody hair," said Britain, who was now bickering for bickering's sake.

"Shall I destroy you for another 100 years?"

"I SHOULD HAVE WON THAT WAR!"

And so the two began to fight. But before any real damage could be done, a noise was heard from the hall that made even France and Britain stop fighting.

"Veeeee~ I hear music!" Italy said.

Everyone moved closer to the door to find out what was going on.

"Americaaaaaa! Ameriiiicaaaaaaaa!"

No one knew what was going on, but some theorized that America would be arriving soon.

Then the door flew off the hinges, revealing America clad in a McDonald's t-shirt, ripped jeans, and an American Flag cape.

"AMERICA!" he yelled.

Suddenly, a chorus of people appeared behind America.

"FUCK YEAH!" the chorus "sang".

"Coming again to save the motherfucking day yeah!" America scream-sang. "AMERICA!"

"FUCK YEAH!"

"Cause freedom is the only way, yeah!"

At which point, one of the people in the chorus held up a sign that said "HE FORCED US TO BE HERE! TAKE HIM DOWN!" Russia took that as an open invitation to beat the mess out of America, which effectively stopped him from singing.

"OW OW OW!" TAKE THIS YOU COMMIE!" Said America as he tackled Russia through a window.

The chorus ran over to the window, and one yelled down "Dad! You alright?" America then responded in some inaudible way that I was too lazy to come up with. Probably a thumbs up, though.

"He's alright guys!" said one guy.

Every country in the room but Canada was staring at the chorus in complete confusion. But since no one cares about Canada, I guess you could just say every country in the room.

"Who are you?" Germany said.

"We're the states! I'm the oldest, Delaware!" Said one boy with jet black hair.

"BULLSHIT!" A girl yelled.

"Aw, c'mon Deli! You know I'm the one in charge!" Said an America look-alike minus Nantucket, and in a rather fine suit.

"Everyone stop! Now can someone explain what is going on here?" Britain made the mistake of asking.

The America look-alike froze, and slowly turned to face Britain. He now had an evil look on his face, and calmly walked over to where Britain stood.

"You. You burned me down. You will burn. And burn. And BURN!" He said, and tackled Britain.

"Hey! Only I can hurt Britain like that!" Said France, and he joined the fray.

"Aloha, Japan. I haven't seen you in a while..." said a little girl with olive skin while inching closer to Japan.

"Hawaii! Like, chill out! OMG, that was, like, 80 years ago! Let it go girl!" Said a girl with a very orange(read fake tanned) complexion and very large(read fake) boobs.

And at this point, America burst into the room for the second time in two minutes.

"THE HERO IS BACK GUYS!" And of course, in the usual style of America, was oblivious the the chaos that included D.C. and 13 more beating up Britain while yelling about burn scars, taxes, and tea with France yelling for them to stop, a very pale Japan shaking in his seat while a 7-year old girl looked at him murderously, Spain crying for a girl to come back to him, and random other insanity that I am too lazy to type.

* * *

IMPORTANT!

If you have any info on the culture and stuff of a state that you live in or something, I would appreciate it if you told me! The large number of NC chapters comes from that I am North Carolinian and pretty much have never been anywhere else.


	2. Everyone Finds Out Hetalia is an Anime

America was At Japan's house playing some new game. Soon it was almost midnight.

"I need to go to sleep, America-san. Feel free to keep playing." Japan said, and left the room.

America kept playing for about an hour, but got hungry. He started to wander the house, looking for the kitchen. He opened a door, but it was not the kitchen. It was the anime room.

"Hey, its anime! Japan tells me about this all the time, I guess I should watch some. Let's seeeeeeeee..." Said America. He started to look through the different DVDs. However, he couldn't read the majority of them, since the titles were in Japanese. So he just picked one at random. It was Hetalia.

He sat down to watch the DVD. It just happened to be english dubbed. So America watched Hetalia: The Beautiful World episode 4.(The one where Russia is getting beat up and stuff.)

For reading and comedic purposes, I decided to allow you to be telepathic, and hear America's thoughts.(Thoughts are in _italics)_

_Hey, that looks like Russia! Only shorter. And not as threatening. Not that I'm threatened by that guy._

Wow, Sweden beat Russia up? Mental note: Make friends with Sweden.  
-

_HOLY CRAP! That's the Russia that I know!_

_PFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LOOK AT ITALY DANCING!_

America then put in another Hetalia DVD. It was the episode America's Cleaning of the Storage I and II

_This is crazy! Hey look, that's meeee!_

_WTF? I TOLD JAPAN NOT TO TELL ANYONE THIS! AND HE WENT AND MADE A SHOW ABOUT IT?_

_I wonder if that suit still fits..._

_Man, I look good in that military uniform... Maybe I should change them..._

America then ran through Japan's house trying to find Japan. When he got lost, America started to yell.

"YO, JAPAN! WHERE ARE YOU? I'M LOST! I NEED TO TALK TO YOU!"

Japan came out of his room, which happened to be right next to where America was yelling.

"What is it, America-san?" Japan said.

"So I was playing that game, then I got hungry, oh, shoot, I just remembered, I need to talk to Hungary about that thing, but that's top secret so you can't know about it, so I went to find the kitchen, but I got lost, so I opened this door, and there was all this anime, so I watched some, and Russia got beat up, then Ukraine was there and told Russia to flash everyone, then Russia fell into a lake and got all, y'know, Russia, then I put in another DVD, then I was there with Lithuania and I was cleaning, then there was that soldier that Britain gave me, and then the suit, and then the musket, and then the rain, and Britain almost shot me, and then I gave up cleaning, then I had some coffee, then I was like 'hey, I told Japan not to tell anyone that' and I was mad, but then I realized that I could just beat you up with my superior army if you don't tell my why you made a show about everyone RIGHT NOW!" America said, in one breath.

"Apparently, no-one but us and our bosses know that countries exist as people. So I made our lives into a comedy anime."

"I'm going to tell everyone about this, and then you'll be in trouble!"

"What if they decide to watch the anime? Then they will know that you kept the toys. Britain will watch it. He will know."

"...There is not an anime about countries as people."

"I'm glad we could make an agreement."


	3. First in Flight

"And THAT is why cats are going to take over the world," said America. He had just finished a speech about... something.

About five nations were facepalming. But it was America talking, so you really couldn't cross him.

"Ok, your eight minutes are up! Raise your hand to go next!" said Germany.

Canada raised his hand.

"Anyone? Someone, raise their hand!"

And the doors flew off the hinges. Again.

Two teenagers rolled into the room. Yes, they rolled. They were wrestling.

"Just admit it!" said the boy. "I made that plane, and you know it!"

"Too bad!" the girl said. "I flew the stupid thing!"

"DAD!" they said in unison. "Tell him/her I was first in flight!"

"NORTH CAROLINA AND OHIO. GET OFF EACH OTHER RIGHT NOW." America yelled. "Now what did I say about fighting?"

"Don't do it, 'cause it reminds you of the Civil war." said the boy, in an annoyed tone. He wore a (rather toussled) blue polo shirt that was (barely) tucked into his jeans. It looked like he at least tried to fix his blond neck length hair in the morning, but that was all undone by the other state.

"Well," said the girl, "if it reminds you of the Civil War, I might as well tar your heels!" She then tackled the boy. She wore a bomber jacket like America's, only hers said 12 on the back, and had First in Flight written under the number, over a t-shirt. She wore slightly ripped jeans, but no one could tell if they were supposed to be like that, or in they were ripped in the fight. Her brown hair went midway down her back, and was in sad state(OH! state puns!) and she had this random piece of hair in front of her face.

America then pulled his kids apart. "North Carolina was first in flight. Get over it Ohio."

"Yes! I told you! Suck it, Ohio!" the girl yelled.

"NO! I BUILT THE STUPID PLANE! I SHOULD BE FIRST IN FLIGHT!" Ohio screamed and ran out of the room. Probably in tears.

North Carolina followed, but at a slower pace, and kept yelling "I told you so!" and other things like that.

When they left, America sat down in his chair and started rubbing his head because of the headache his kids caused him.

"Every day, for over a century. Ohio just won't get over it," America said.

"So you have fifty kids; one for each state?" France asked, suggestively.

"Fifty-one. There's DC, too," America said.

"Onhonhonhonhon..."

"Pretty much all of them are adopted, though," said America.

"...oh," France sounded disappointed.

America looked up from his desk. "How do you not remember the Louisiana Purchase?"

"Ah! Yes, I remember Louisiana well! A fine girl, a little wild though, but still a fun catch!" Said France blissfully.

"What."

"Ah, the nights we'd have!"

America jumped out of his chair and began strangling France.


	4. Tomato Hater

"HEY! Do you like pasta~~~~~" Italy was using his best pickup line on a random girl.

"As long as it doesn't have tomato sauce, I love it!" she responded.

Italy stared at her in shock, and Romano ran over to see what she did to him.

"Hey, what did you do to my brother?" he said.

"I don't know, he asked me if I liked pasta, and I said I didn't like tomato sauce on it, but i love pasta, and he got like that," she said.

"You...don't...like...TOMATOES?"

"Not really, I can eat them, but I don't really like the flavor. Are you ok?"

Romano went into shock at the knowledge that someone didn't like tomatoes.

The girl called an ambulance, and the emergency crews took the brothers away. Once they had (slightly) recovered from their shock, Spain and Germany came to pick them up.

"Romano! What happened to you?" Spain asked.

"She... She didn't like...tomatoes," Romano almost whispered.

Spain passed out.

Germany then had to deal with two brothers in shock and a passed out Spain.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.  
This is based loosely on a true story. I once met someone who hated tomatoes. I felt so bad for her. Then I saw Hetalia, and I thought about how funny it would be if she met the tomato lovers of the world.


	5. The Yaoi Friendship of Hungary and Japan

Hungary likes yaoi.

So does Japan.

Once a week, Hungary goes over to Japan's house, and all they do is read/write/watch yaoi.

One day, Hungary got hungry.(YES! I have been waiting so long to use that!)

"Japan, I'm hungry.(yes you are LOL) I'll be right back," said the very hungry Hungary.(never gets old) She then got up to find the kitchen.

Hungary soon got lost in Japan's house, and opened a door that she thought was to the kitchen. It wasn't. It was Japan's anime room. Hoping for some new yaoi, Hungary sat down and pressed play on the DVD player. Hetalia was still in from when America got lost. Playing was episode 22: the one where HRE leaves for war.

Hungary got about 2 minutes in before she got the worst nosebleed of her life.

After the episode was over, she ran out of the room.

"JAPAN! Why didn't you tell me you made an anime ever about Italy when he was younger?"

Japan stared at her for a while before he got it.

"Oh, that. Yes, it has a rather large fanbase, would you like to read some fanfiction?" he asked.

Hungary then had the most awesome time reading a fanfiction called Hetalia Adventures! by Mindprisoner.


	6. Congratulations!

So I'm just chilling out on FanFiction, readin' some FanFiction, when I'm like, yeah let's see what countries my readers are from.(Still my fave part of the site) So I go to my published junk and I see how many views Hetalia Adventures! has.

1 fucking hundred. 100 views. WOOO!

But seriously, thanks guys, you are awesome.

Real chapters will be coming in the morning, as I have been crazy lazy recently, and I have like 100 of these things sittin' on another account of mine on a whole other website waiting to be transferred. BTW, you guys are putting my readers on the other website to SHAME! It took them like 12 chapters to reach 100 view/reads, but snap! You awesomer-than-Prussia people managed to do it in 5!

Also, tomorrow is the last day of school for me. :D

And just for all you UK readers(all 7 of you so far), I have chapters about Shagging(In America, Shagging is something _very_ different from what it is slang for, so many dirty jokes will happen), so BE PREPARED. BRING YOUR FRIENDS. BRING THE AUSTRALIAN CANDY.(Which is the best candy in the world)

I also like how I'm updating like twice a day... SKILLZ


	7. Swedish Fish are Made in Canada

"Hey, Sweden!" Finland said. "I really like that candy you made!"

"...What Candy..." said Sweden.

"You know, these!" Finland said, holding out a yellow package filled with delicious red fish.

Sweden took the candy and turned it over. After looking at it for a while, he said, "It says made in Canada."

"Who's that?"

Sweden ate one of the fish. "It's just a pastellfiskar."

"Anyways, I say we visit this Canada guy."

"...hmph..." Sweden grunted in approval

* * *

(Did you know that you could put a line in? I didn't)

"So this is Canada's house," Finland said.

"...Ja" said the very talkative Sweden.

"I guess we better knock!" Finland said. And he knocked on the door.

Canada was chilling out inside, watching hockey. Then he heard a knock at the door. Not used to visitors other than America, and it couldn't be America, if it was the door would no longer exist, Canada took the opportunity to interact with people. So he got up and opened the door.

"...hello...oh, it's Sweden and Finland...come on in..." Canada said.

"HELLOOOOO, IS ANYONE HOME?" Finland yelled. "Mr. Sweden, I'm scared! What if this house is haunted?"

"I'm here..." Canada almost whispered.

"Oh, well. Let's come back again later. Maybe... what was his name again? Maybe the guy who lives here will be home tomorow." Finland said.

And so Sweden and Finland left.

"Oh, they left. They couldn't even see me..." Canada said.


	8. Cheyenne Breaks the Fourth Wall

"Alright Cheyenne, all you have to do is stand here, and I will transport you into Hetalia," I said.

"Got it. So why are you sending me and not yourself?" Cheyenne asked.

"'Cause I need someone to work the controls.(And I need someone to make sure it's not deadly...)"I whispered. "And I'm the only one who knows the thingy to do the thing with the thing."

"Oh, OK. So, this isn't going to hurt right?" She asked.

"Remember, don't tell them that they are just an anime!" I said.

"Wait, you didn't answer my question!" Cheyenne yelled.

But I had already pushed the button on the teleporter, and she was going into Hetalia. I sure hope I can get her out. But, if I can't, LOLOMGSCIENCE.

* * *

The World Meeting was almost over. Romano was looking very happy about it. More happy than usual.

"Ve~ Fratello, why are you so happy?" Italy asked his older brother.

"It's the first World Meeting in two weeks that hasn't been interrupted by one of America's kids," Romano responded.

Well, she may not be one of America's kids, but Cheyenne popped into the World Meeting at that moment.

"Oh cazzo no! Fanculo questa merda!" Romano yelled, and stalked out of the room.(Oh fuck no! Fuck this shit!)

"Fratello, aspetta!" Italy followed him.(Brother, wait!)

Looking around, Cheyenne realized that the teleporter had worked.

"YAY!" she screamed, and ran over to Germany and gave him a big bear hug. "Wazzup Germany."

"Mein Gott! Who are you?" Germany asked.

"I'm Cheyenne!" She said.

"Shit. Wyoming! Where are you?" America said, and left.

Cheyenne ran over to an empty chair. "Hey, Canada!" she said to the chair.

Canada reappeared. "You can... see me?" he whispered.

"Yerp!" She said, and ran over to China.

"You are a sexy ass mofo who also pulls off adorable flawlessly," she told the now blushing China.

"Tell him he looks like Ling from Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood!" I yell from the other side.

Every country looks around for the source of my voice.

"Ok, fine!" Cheyenne yells at me. "My BFF wants you to know you look like Ling from Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood."

"Who the bloody hell was that?" Britain asked.

"My BFF, Grace! She's the one writing this fan fiction! Except I wasn't supposed to tell you that!" Cheyenne said.

"Prove it," Britain said.

"You're on, Britain," I said. I then made 100 bananas fall out of nowhere onto Britain.

"Hey guys, so Wyoming doesn't know why Cheyenne has a person representing it, and seriously doubts that that's the state capital Cheyenne, but anyways, WOAH." America said, seeing the random bananas. America started to laugh.

"So, now that Cheyenne has broken the fourth wall, and only America, Hungary, and Japan and possibly someone else if i feel like it can know that you are actually anime characters," I said, and every country but America and Hungary turned to look at Japan. They looked mad. America looked embarrassed.

"Its a popular show..." Japan said, as if that justified it.

"I have to erase your memories, because I can't think of a better ending. Cheyenne, you are leaving NOW!" I said.

"Ughh, fine," she said, and ran over to kiss Germany. On the lips. "Until next time, hot stuff. GERMANY AND ITALY BANGED!"

And I brought her back.

"What the fuck..." America said.


	9. America gets Kicked

"I'm tired of America's stupid ideas!" Romano told Italy. "I'm going to go do something about it."

And he stormed off before Italy could even try to stop him.

* * *

"Hey, Burger Bitch!" Romano yelled at America. "Your ideas are stupid!"

And he kicked America right in the Florida.

Hard.

It made America tear up.

THAT HARD.

Romano ran away yelling "MAFIA BITCHES!"

Florida was surfing with Hawaii and California.

She had just come out of the ocean to reapply sunscreen when she felt the worst pain of her life.

Florida fell to the ground, and started crying. California and Hawaii ran over as fast as they could.

"OMG! Florida, like, what happened?" California asked.

"'Merica...Kick...Ow..."Florida managed to choke out.

"We should take her to America, where did he say he was going?" Hawaii asked.

"Uhh, I think he was, like, going to that world meeting in, like, DC," California said.

"DID SOMEONE SAY DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA?" DC appeared out of nowhere.

"I think she said DC, but we need to get Florida to America fast! She's really hurt!" Hawaii said.

"Are you sure it's not just the economy?" DC asked.

"Whatever! We still need to, like, get to America!" California said.

"FINE! But you owe me one," DC said, and used his special Teleport to America power that exists solely for plot advancement.

They were in some random building that the World Meeting that Cheyenne crashed had just taken place in. The three states and one district found America in tears in fetal position in a random hallway.

"America, what happened?" DC asked.

"Ro...Romano...Kick...Ow...Mafia..."America stuttered.

"Romano kicked you in the dick and ran off yelling 'MAFIA BITCHES!'?" DC asked.

America could only nod.

"Oh," DC, California, and Hawaii all said at once, and left Florida and America lying in pain on the floor.


	10. North Carolina and Britain

"HOW DID YOU WIN?" America yelled at Britain. Britain had just beaten him in chess.

"I've been playing this game since before you were born," Britain smugly said.

"It helps to be a virgin," America was mad.

"For your information, I've shagged with many women," Britain said.

Since they were playing at America's house, they had to deal with random states walking through. North Carolina, missing the context of the word 'shagged' thought that it meant her state dance, and took the opportunity to comment.

"I love to shag!" She said. With North Carolina being no more than 14, Britain wondered what the hell America had his kids doing. "It's so fun! It's one of my favorite things to do!"

"You...love to shag? But you're so young!" Britain was alarmed.

"Yep! I even hold a class! About 60 people come to my weekly classes! And about age, I think that you're never too young to shag! I sometimes get kids as young as 5 up in the fun!" At this comment, Britain lost all color to his face.

America, of course, was oblivious to the freak out Britain was having, and was lost in his own world.

"You're welcome to come to my class sometime, even if you are a horrible person who loses colonies! I'm sure that lots of the women at the class will be eager to Shag with you!" And with that, Britain passed out.

"Get the permanent markers NC," America said. "And the hamburgers! I want to force one down his throat!"

"You are evil... BEST DAD EVER!" NC said, and ran out of the room.

"GRAB THE CAMERA TOO!"

Pictures of Britain with inappropriate drawings on his face and eating a burger were on facebook in an hour. When he woke up, he found he couldn't move. North Carolina had tarred his heels to the floor. When Britain got thirsty and asked for a drink, the North and South Carolina brought out their supply of sweet tea and gave him some, at a 200% tax rate. Britain passed out again.


	11. America Gets Kicked Part 2

America and Florida were lying in the hall in pain. Thanks to Romano and his Mafia-charged kick. Russia decided to walk by, and saw the two crying. He took a picture for blackmail and walked away.

Britain walked by, and saw them. Wondering what could down the superpower, he walked over.

"What happened America?" He asked.

"Romano...kicked...ow..." America choked out.

DC used his special Teleport to America power. "Romano kicked America in the nuts and ran away yelling MAFIA, BITCHES!" he said right before he teleported back to wherever he was.

"Then why is this girl here?" Britain asked. "And why is she wearing a bikini?"

"This...Florida...have...you...seen...geography?" America said.

"Surfing...ow...don't...dick jokes...or...i'll...kill...,"Florida said.

"So, if you get kicked...in a certain area...this girl, Florida, will feel it too?" Britain said.

America and Florida weakly nodded.

"Does she also get...excited...?" Britain hoped not. That would be creepy.

America and Florida nodded again, with rapidly increasing blushes.

Britain could never look at either of them the same way again.


	12. America Discovers Japanese Accents

In this chapter, I attempt to write accents. You will now discover why I choose not to write with accents.

* * *

"HEY JAPAN!" America yelled. "YOU HAVE ELECTIONS IN YOUR COUNTRY, RIGHT?"

"Yes, we do," Japan replied. "Why do you ask?"

"How often do you have one?"

"We have an erection every-" Japan started to say.

"No, dude, not erection, ELECTION. You know, like with voting," the ever-oblivious America said.

"Yes, that's what I said, erection."

"OK, spell it with me! E-L-E-C-T-I-ON."

"That is what I am saying!"

"No, you were saying erection. Like with dicks."

Japan walked away before his dignity could be lowered even more.


	13. America Gets Kicked Part 3: The Revenge

America and Florida were bitter after America's run in with Romano.

"We have to get revenge," Florida said.

"But if we make Romano mad, we make Italy mad if he finds out, which will get Germany on us, and Spain will be mad too, and I don't want to deal with a war right now," America replied.

"But Romano won't tell anyone that he's hurt, 'cause he's trying for that tough guy thing, so we should be good," Florida said.

"...I guess you're right!"

And so they made a plan to get back at Romano.

* * *

America and Florida managed to sneak into the Italy brother's house.

Of course, Italy was making pasta, and Romano was outside picking tomatoes.

America and Florida were three rows down, crouching behind the vines.

"Alright, wait until he stands up to go inside, then run up to him, and kick him. Got it?" Florida asked.

"Yeah...This is going to be AWESOME!" America almost yelled.

"SHHHHHH!"

So they waited for like an hour for Romano to finish getting the tomatoes. When he stood up, America jumped up, ran over and kicked him right between the legs before running away yelling "FREEDOM, BITCHES!" Florida then ran behind him, and when she got to Romano, she took his basket of tomatoes, and threw all of them at the hurting nation. Getting kicked in the nuts by someone with super strength tends to hurt, and being pelted with your beloved tomatoes by someone else with super strength at close range hurts too.

Romano curled up in the dirt, and tried as hard as he could not to cry. No way anyone was going to see him cry. He then threw up multiple times from the pain, and after hours of suffering outside, he finally had the strength to (slowly)walk inside.

Italy, who was eating pasta, saw his older brother covered in dirt and dried red juice, and asked what had happened.

Romano, enraged that his brother had not come to his rescue when he was getting beat up by America and Florida, responded "Vai a farti fottere, è fratello inutile!" and ran into his room, where he cried all night because he lost a basket full of tomatoes.


	14. How to Lose a Colony

"All right, Roanoke, let's try this again. I'll be back soon with supplies," England said.

"OK, Mr. England!" Roanoke said. He was a small boy no more than two who looked like North Carolina, but without the piece of hair also known as the Outer Banks and, you know, he was a boy.

The Carolina twins, who were still one colony at the time, and about 5, came and took Roanoke back to their house after they were done waving goodbye to England.

"Hey guys," South Carolina said, "Let's play hide and seek!"

"OK, I'll count!" North Carolina responded. She turned around to face a tree. "One...Two...Three..."

"Roanoke, quick, hide!" South Carolina said, and ran to hide behind some bushes. Roanoke climbed a tree with speed unnatural for someone his age, and hid up high.

"Twenty! Ready or not, here I come!" North Carolina yelled, and she found her brother almost immediately.

They proceeded to look for Roanoke, but couldn't find him after looking for over an hour.

"ROANOKE! COME OUT! YOU WIN!" They called. But Roanoke, paralyzed with a fear of heights, couldn't move or yell out to his friends.

"This is all your fault!" South Carolina accused. "This is your part of the colony, you should know where stuff is!"

"I do know where stuff is, how do you think I found you so fast!" North Carolina said. "Whatever, he's probably at the house now."

But he wasn't at the house.

"Oh, no, what are we going to tell Mr. England!" North Carolina said.

"Calm down! Let me think! We gotta make it look like he disappeared one day, and we didn't do anything," South Carolina said.

"What if we make it look like he moved?"

"Or killed?"

"Or both?"

"How can someone get killed and move?"

"Follow me!" And North Carolina ran out of the house.

* * *

"See that island out there?" North Carolina asked her brother.

"Yeah, what about it?" South Carolina said.

"It's called Croatoan Island, and there's also a tribe of indians called Croatoan," She said. "So what if we carve the word Croatoan into this tree, so it looks like they moved, or were chased off or something?"

"That's genius! I'll carve it!" He started to carve the word into a tree, the same tree Roanoke was stuck in, but only got as far as "Cro".

"Wait, make sure you spell it right!"

"It's spelled Crow Tone, right?"

"...Idiot. Give me the knife," North Carolina said, and carved Croatoan into a post on the fort. "Now we just have to play dumb when England comes back."

* * *

"Ok, so England should be here any day now," South Carolina said. "Remember, just play dumb!"

Just then, a random person ran up to the colonies.

"War...In...England!" He said, out of breath.

"Wait, what?" said North Carolina.

"England's in a war...with Spain! No...supply ships!"

The two colonies began to cheer at dodging a bullet with England before they realized that they wouldn't be getting many supplies for a while.

* * *

(Three years later)

"Roanoke! I'm back!" England called out.

There was no response from Roanoke, who was still terrified and in a tree.

England soon found the post with Croatoan carved in it, and since there was no cross, meaning their dissapearance had not been forced, England assumed he was fine, and left to avoid a storm.

"Wow, he didn't even ask questions," North Carolina said. "I guess he just doesn't care."

* * *

(Present Day)

North Carolina was chilling out at her beach house.

Roanoke had gotten over his fear of heights, and finally got down from the tree after almost 500 years. He quickly found North Carolina, and punched her right in the face.

"WHO THE HELL- Roanoke?" She said.

"LOOK IN THE TREES NEXT TIME!"


	15. The Stereotype Song (Cheyenne Returns)

"C'mon, Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaase?" Cheyenne asked me.

"No," I responded.

"I just wanna sing the stereotype song!"

"FINE. But that's all!" I said, and pressed the button to make her teleport into Hetalia. "DON'T FUCK SHIT UP THIS TIME!"

* * *

Everything was actually going smoothly at the World Meeting, until Cheyenne started to appear.

"Hey guys, I'm Cheyenne!" She said. "And I'm not the capital of Wyoming!" she added when America started to run out. "And this is a song!"

She pointed at Japan. "I think I love you more than the Japanese love tentacle porn," Japan began to blush uncontrollably, "and we should dance, dance, dance, dance, dance to these steryotypes!"

Cheyenne shifted her pointing finger to India. "Let's come together and live in this world like a unibrow on an Indian girl," Now it was India's turn to blush. "And we should dance, dance, dance, dance, dance to these steryotypes!"

"I love those fat Americans!"

America looked offended. "I'M JUST FLUFFY!"

"You know they're so obnoxious! They're always eatin' burgers!"

America put down his burger.

"They're always holdin' shotguns!"

America put down his shotgun.

"And I love Mexicans!"

"YOU KNOW IT!" Mexico yelled.

"The way they mow my lawn!"

"...Oh."

" They all got 100 kids 'cause they don't know how to put a condom on! UH HUH! Cause that's they way they roll! You gotta go big like an Israeli nose!"

Israel moved his hands to his face to cover his nose.

"You ever buy a pint for an Irish guy and they're out of control like a Chinese driver!"

Ireland and China got offended at the same time. DOUBLE KILL.

"I love the Middle East," all the Middle Eastern countries smiled. "But how do they handle rockin' burkas while they're riding camels?"

Saudi Arabia started to say "It takes years of- HEY!"

"I love Jamaicans, yeah they're cool, but they're allways high, so don't let 'em fool ya!"

"What's the unicorn sayin about Jamaica, mon?"

"And I love them Puerto Ricans even though they wash their ass about once a weekend."

"LIES!" Puerto Rico yelled.

"I'm just jokin' if you didn't know, then you're a little slow, and you're probably from Poland!"

Poland looked like he was trying to figure out a difficult problem.

"I think I love you more than the Japanese love tentacle porn," Japan, who had still not recovered from the last chorus, now looked like one of Spain's tomatoes. "And we should dance, dance, dance, dance, dance to these stereotypes!"

"Let's come together and live in this world," India prepared himself for the insult about to come, "Like a unibrow on an Indian girl," India didn't prepare enough. "And we should dance, dance, dance, dance, dance to these stereotypes!"

"AW YEAH! Lemmie hear you yell if you love the outback redneck Australians,"

"YEAH!" Australia yelled.

"And the crooked-ass teeth of an English dude,"

"There's nothing wrong with my teeth!" England yelled, while France laughed at him.

"Or those creepy Italians who think they're smooth!"

Romano looked ready to kill, and Italy was still oblivious to the insult.

"How could anyone hate the French?"

"It's impossible!" France agreed.

"I mean, I know their hairy women don't shave their pits!"

It was now Britain's turn to laugh at France.

"Brazilian girls is what you want,"

"YEAH WE ARE!" Brazil yelled.

"Walkin' 'round town with that badonk-adonk!"

"YOU KNOW IT!" Brazil yelled again.

"I love Africans but hold up a second, National Geographic says they're all butt naked!"

The fully clothed African nations frowned.

"Breasts hangin low, what have they done with their clothes? They've disappeared like coke up a Colombian's nose!"

Colombia was upset.

"WOAH-OH! You're all on my checklist! Even Russian guys who drink vodka for breakfast!"

"That is actually true," Russia said, right before downing a bottle of vodka.

"They're stereotypes, and if you believe 'em, then you're brain is small like a Korean penis!"

"SHUT UP!" North and South Korea said in unison.

"I think I love you more than the Japanese love tentacle porn," Japan blushed even redder now that his secret had been revealed three times in three minutes. "And we should dance, dance, dance, dance, dance to these stereotypes!"

"Let's come together and live in this world like a unibrow on an Indian girl," India was still offended. "And we should dance, dance, dance, dance, dance to these stereotypes!"

"I LOVE SCOTSMEN THOUGH THEY HUMP SHEEP!"

Scotland looked up from his laughing at the offended countries.

"I LOVE SCOTSMEN THOUGH THEY HUMP SHEEP!"

Scotland looked mad.

"I LOVE SCOTSMEN THOUGH THEY HUMP SHEEP!"

Every country in the room was now looking at the enraged Scot.

"I LOVE SCOTSMEN THOUGH THEY HUMP SHEEP!"

"COME ON! THAT WAS ONE TIME!" Scotland yelled.

"THEY HUMP SHEEP! THEY HUMP SHEEP! THEY HUMP SHEEP!"

Scotland walked over to the wall and started banging his head against it.

"I think I love you more than the Japanese love tentacle porn," Japan was now curled up under the table. "And we should dance dance dance dance dance to these stereotypes!"

"Let's come together and live in this world like a unibrow on an Indian girl,"

"That's it!" India said, and walked out.

"And we should dance, dance, dance, dance, dance to these stereotypes! Yeah!"

"Haha, I'm just playin'! You know I love you guys!" She turned to Germany. "Especially you, Germany."

Cheyenne walked over to Scotland. "But seriously, Scotland, don't hump any sheep."

"ONE TIME!" He yelled.

"THIS SONG WAS MADE BY AN AMERICAN!"

I then ported her out before she could be mauled by any countries.

"Hey, that girl insulted me!" Poland said.


	16. International Women's Day

Hungary, Ukraine, Belarus, Seychelles, Lichtenstein, Taiwan, Vietnam, Wy, Brazil, Pueter Rico Florida, California, Virginia, Georgia, North Carolina, Hawaii, North Dakota, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Vermont, Louisiana, Michigan, Montana, Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Connecticut, Maine, Minnesota, New Mexico, Kansas, Mississippi, and Oklahoma all got together to celebrate International Women's Day.

It all went smoothly until Poland showed up. In a dress.

Then France showed up, and tried to grope people. He left after being hit in the head by Hungary's frying pan at least 10 times.

America showed up next, trying to get his states to come to a meeting about what to do about immigrants. New Mexico told him to build a big-ass wall and slammed the door in his face.

Belarus had to leave halfway through so she could stalk Russia, which made Ukraine sad that her boss wouldn't let her near Russia and she started crying.

Wy was forgotten because she was the only micronation there, and left to go cry about it to Australia.

Lichtenstein got scared for some reason and yelled for Switzerland to save her.

North Dakota and North Carolina made a pact to prank South Dakota and South Carolina. Hard. And possibly with deadly weapons.

When the party was over, no one could leave because Maine lost her mitten.

They all agreed to do it again next year.


	17. The Prank War: The Beginnings

"Alright, we are going to prank our little bros so hard, that-" North Carolina started to say.

"Wait, I thought South Carolina was the older one," North Dakota commented. North Dakota was about 12 years old and wore some spiffy(as spiffy as you can get in freaking overalls) overalls, and was popping sunflower seeds in her mouth every now and then. Her dirty blonde hair was dirty(lolpuns), and hung in a low ponytail down past her neck.

"WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK THAT? I'M THE OLDER ONE!" NC said(read yelled)

"Maybe because he decided to beat up Britain like a year before you did."

"...I thought you were my friend."

"What ever! Let's just come up with a good prank!"

"Let's-" NC started to say AGAIN.

"We are NOT tarring their heels."

"Well, I'm out of ideas."

* * *

"We are going to prank those sissies so hard!" South Carolina said. The NC lookalike lacked the hair also known as the Outer Banks, but made up for it with his eagerness to declare independence. He was also a good 5 maybe 6 inches shorter than his sister.

"If we could come up with a good prank," South Dakota responded. He looked like his older twin, but had a big-ass hat that rivaled even Texas'.

"Shut up! Just think harder!"

"Quick question."

"What is it?"

"How do I think?"

"YOU ARE THE STUPIDEST YANKEE I HAVE EVER SEEN, I THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE COOL SINCE YOU HAVE SOUTH IN YOUR NAME, BUT OH MY GOD ARE YOU DUMB!"

They began to fight until NC and ND, who were out of ideas, walked past the room, heard the commotion, and opened the door. Laughing, they came up with an idea on the spot, and locked the door. It was one of those awesome doors that lock from the outside, and it was commonly used by America to get states to "calm the fuck down before someone comes over and sees how you idiots are." The two states slipped a note under the door saying

Cardinals are red  
Wild Prairie Roses are pink  
You may ask how we found you  
We just followed your stink

Signed,  
The North Southern State  
The North Northern State

P.S. Roanoke wants me to smack/hit/kick/kill you.  
P.P.S. He was hiding in a fucking TREE.


	18. Potato Lovers

Idaho was harvesting potatoes.

Y'know, cuz he's Idaho.

And he likes potatoes.

Alot.

Possibly more than Germany.

"YO, IDAHO!" America came running up behind Idaho.

"What is it, dad? And, no, I will NOT-" Idaho started to say.

"I just wanna show you this guy who claims to like potatoes more than ANYONE!" America told him.

"HE WHAT? Take me to him. Now!" A mad Idaho was not something you want to mess with.

* * *

"That him?" Idaho and America were hiding behind a corner, spying on Germany.

"Yep. Now go show him some American pride!" America said. "Just don't start a war," he quickly added.

Idaho had already run out. "HEY BASTARD!"

"What is it now, Romano?" Germany asked. Then he turned around. He was not expecting a 9-year old in (very dirty) jeans and a plaid shirt. "Who are you?"

"I'm Idaho, and I've heard that you like potatoes more than anyone!" Idaho said, with a (cute) scowl on his face.

"I do like potatoes very much, but I don't see why a kid would be concerned with that," Germany said.

"I'M NOT A KID!" Idaho said, and kicked the nation in the leg. But not hard at all. "AND I LIKE POTATOES MOST!"

"I never said I liked potatoes more than anyone, and are you one of America's states?"

"You're still a potato faker, and yeah, USA's my dad."

"Figures," Germany said, right before walking away.


	19. America's Glasses

It was another World Meeting. It had yet to be crashed by Cheyenne or any states.

But this is my Fan Fiction.

And it _**WILL**_ be crashed.

* * *

"They're YOUR people! Keep them in YOUR country!" America was yelling at Mexico. A lot.(I hate that 'a lot' is two words. It always gets me.)

"Don't make your country so safe from DRUG CARTELS!" Mexico yelled back.

"Don't HAVE drug cartels!" America looked ready to punch Mexico in the face. "MY people are upset about losing their jobs to YOUR country's FREELOADING people!" America actually did punch Mexico in the face.

Then America's glasses suddenly morphed into a person with a BIG HAT.

"REMEMBER THE ALAMO!" He yelled, and joined the fight.

"TEXAS! GET BACK ON MY FACE NOW!" America yelled at his son.

"Onhonhonhon..." France started laughing, whilst wiggling his eyebrows, which earned him a slap from someone with eyebrows as big as Texas's hat.

"You know I can't see without you!" America said, which cause Russia to write the comment down in his Book of America's Weaknesses.

"But Mexico-" Texas started.

"NO BUTTS! Don't make me put you in the closet again!" America said, and France started laughing AGAIN, which caused him to get slapped by Britain AGAIN.

"UGGH! You're so mean!" Texas said, and changed back into glasses.

"Quick question, America," Britain said. "What is 'The Closet?'"

America, who now had Texas back on, turned around to face Britain, and with a much eviler version of Russia's smile, said "Punishment."

France started laughing AGAIN.

"NOT LIKE THAT YOU PERV!"


	20. Giving Greece a Cat

My cat is an asshole.

So I took my cat with me through the teleporter thing.

* * *

It was ANOTHER World Meeting.(Because I am COMPLETELY original.)

I teleported right in the middle of an argument between France and Spain on who was the most passionate. My presence made them stop arguing, because the last time someone glowed it up and appeared in a meeting, a lot of nations got embarrased.(Ahem, if you don't understand, then you haven't read the chapter _The Return of Cheyenne. _I would suggest you do. It involves singing.)

Still somehow carrying my demon cat, I stalked over to Greece, who was awake because he sensed a cat in the area.

"Take this cat, her name is Zolie, and she likes the outside. I shoved her in a drawer when I was two and she was a kitten, and the drawer wasn't much bigger than she was. She has hated me ever since. Zolie also only likes Kit-N-Kaboodle dry cat food." I said holding out the evil also known as my cat. "If you ask me, this thing holds grudges better than anyone."

Greece looked so confused. "You shoved your cat in a drawer?"

"I don't know why either. Do you want the stupid thing or not?" I asked.

Greece took the cat.

"Good riddance!" I said. "SPAMANO FOREVER!"

And I left to go write a fan fiction chapter about the experience.

And just because I'm the one controlling every single country, I made Romano kiss Spain.

Willingly.


	21. German Sparkle Party

Only one time has Austria ever gotten drunk. Only one time has Scotland ever gotten drunk, and he fucked a sheep that one time.

What do you think Austria does when he's drunk?

Well, of course Germany and Prussia are there, and they're drunk too, so GUESS NOW!

...It is not yaoi...(Let's not change that rating _just_ yet...)

Austria starts singing "German Sparkle Party".

And Germany and Prussia are wearing skintight glittery one pieces under their clothes for no reason other than comedic effect. So they strip their clothes off until they are Germanly Sparkling the Party.

Much blackmail was created that day.


	22. The Drinking Contest

Scotland and Russia were arguing about who could drink the most before getting drunk. Prussia heard about it and said he could drink the most, and also dragged Germany into it. Denmark, being the self-centered country he is, joined too. France said that he had drunken more wine than anyone, and would definitely win. England, not to be shown up by France, joined even though he has no chance at winning. America joined just to show everybody up and to 'be THE HERO!' China joined to show everybody that he is the oldest, and wisest, and backed out as soon as he joined. Hungary showed up to show everyone that girls kick ass. And then Romano came to keep Italy out of competing.

The rules were:  
3 wines  
3 beers  
3 vodkas in that order  
repeat until drunk

You have to drink all of your drink to advance to the next drink  
You are out when you pass out, throw up, can't talk understandably or sensibly, do something crazy, or fall off your chair

THE MATCH:  
Britain was out after the wine and one beer when he started babbling about being an 'absolutely invincible British gentleman' and passed out.

France(not used to anything stronger than wine) lost when he passed out after the wine, beer, and vodka. He woke up an hour later, and started flirting with everyone.

America was out when he ran to the bathroom to throw up after the wine, beer, vodka, and two wines. He returned to the contest with a burger in hand.

Romano lost when he declared tomatoes were horrible after wine, beer, vodka, wine again, beer, and one vodka. He was disqualified for incoherent speech.

Denmark lost seconds after Romano when he fell out of his chair onto the floor and started making out with it.

Germany and Prussia lost simultaneously when they both started crying and hugging each other, saying that they would never let a wall divide them again, before Prussia failed to attack Russia for treating him so badly. Prussia then passed out. Germany was yelling at Prussia to go drink the whole ocean, and they both were disqualified for crazy behavior. They lost after wine, beer, vodka, wine, beer, vodka, and wine.

Hungary was out when she started insisted that you could "Grow a dick on your nose if you eat a unicorn tied to a fish, or you could just wait for it to grow in the normal place." She lost after three rounds of everything.

It was now down to the originals, Scotland and Russia. Russia was starting to get a little wobbly, but so was Scotland.

Russia finally lost after 11 rounds of everything, and two wines when he took off his scarf. He was disqualified for crazy behavior.

Scotland took a victory round of everything, and ran running out of the bar without a shirt on. He then went to a nearby field and fucked a sheep.

You now know the story of Scotland and the Sheep, and the one time he was yelling to Cheyenne about.


	23. Stockholm Syndrome

After much pondering over how to start this chapter, I decided just to port into Hetalia and screw with things from there.

I ported into the nordic 5 house, where Norway was bothering Iceland about calling him big brother, Denmark was bothering Sweden about something unimportant, and Finland was failing at keeping the peace.

But, of course, my teleportation made them all stop and stare at me. Like they've never been to one of the world meetings before.

And, y'know, Finland decided to recognize me.

"Hey! It's that crazy cat girl!" Finland said, pointing at me.

"Yep! But I do have a name! Anyways-" I said.

"Why did you shove your cat into a drawer?" Norway asked.

I turned around to face him. "I was TWO! But seriously, Finland, ask Sweden about Stockholm Syndrome!" I said, turning back around.

The mention of his capital made Sweden look up and stare at me with that stare that looks into your very SOUL. He soon turned away with a horrified look on his face saying "This girl is more evil than Russia."

"Why, thank you! Just ask him, Finland!" I said and started to teleport away. "SWEDEN AND FINLAND ARE AN ADORABLE COUPLE!"

My last comment caused both Sweden and Finland to blush. "So," Finland said, "What _is_ Stockholm Syndrome?"

"IT'S WHEN YOU GO TO SWEDEN AND YOU REALIZE DENMARK IS A WAY COOLER COUNTRY, SO YOU MOVE!" Denmark said, which earned him a very hurting head, curtisy of Sweden.

"No, it's when-" Sweden tried to say.

"IT'S WHEN YOU MEET SWEDEN AND YOU DON'T LIKE HIM, SO HE CURSES YOU!" Denmark said, who obviously had a death wish.

"No, Stockholm Syndrome is when you are compassionate to someone who did something traumatic to you," Sweden said, whilst hitting Denmark over the head again, this time with a very thick hardback book.

"But why would she want me to ask you about it?" Finland asked.

"Maybe she's suggesting that Finland has Stockholm," Iceland said.

I teleported in just to give Iceland a high five for figuring it out. Before anyone could kill me/ask me a question I left.

"...What the hell," Iceland said.

"So, she's suggesting that I have Stockholm Syndrome. But I haven't had any traumatic experiences," Finland said. "I don't know what she could be talking about."

Sweden was being very silent. As in, silent even for him.

"Sweden's the one it was named after, so he must of done something to you and you are the first person to have Stockholm Syndrome!" Denmark said. "Nice job being patient zero, dude!" And he moved over to high five Finland.

"But Sweden hasn't traumatized me!" Finland argued.

"Well, DUH you're saying that! You have Stockholm Syndrome!" Denmark said.

Finland was freaking out now. "SWEDEN! Did you ever traumatize me?"

"Well, I don't know if you were traumatized..." Sweden said, not exactly reinforcing his wife's sanity.

"WHAT! WHAT HAPPENED?" Finland yelled. An angry Finland is something you do NOT want. You will not get Christmas presents for a long time.

"Well...Remember that first night you and I spent together after we ran away from Denmark?" Sweden asked.

"WHAT ABOUT IT?"

"I may have traumatized you then..." Sweden said, and went back to reading.

"No, all you did was keep me warm!"

"With his DICK!" Denmark said, before running and jumping out the window to avoid Sweden's Wrath. "OW!" Denmark had jumped from a second story window. Into a rose bush.

"NO I DID NOT! Anyways, you seemed scared of me that first night," Sweden said.

"This is awkward! I'm going home!" The normally happy-go-lucky Finland was annoyed over people bashing his mental health. There's no way I have Stockholm Syndrome, thought Finland, I have WAY too much Christmas spirit for anything to get me down!

After Finland left, the other Nordic countries (minus Denmark, who was still trying to get out of the rosebush) were still conversing on Finland's mental state.

"Finny totally has Stockholm, doesn't he?" Norway said.

"No doubt," Sweden said, without looking up from his book.


	24. I Mess With Finland

A few weeks ago, I found a picture on the Internet. It quickly grew to be my favorite picture ever, and is my desktop background.

So I decided to use my super-awesome teleporter to read the words on the picture how it's supposed to be read.

* * *

It was a World Meeting.

Yes, it has to be a World Meeting.

ANYWAYS, this World Meeting was going just dandy, except Finland was slightly irked at the other Nordic countries, and France was slightly drunk.

So Germany was in the middle of a lecture on the polite way to raise hands so you don't insult him, when I ported in.

As soon as he saw it was me, Greece said "That cat is evil! Take her back!"

"NO!" I said, whilst walking over to Finland.

"BACK THE FUCK UP!" I said, pulling Finland, who was not happy to see me again, out of his chair.

Sweden started to protest, to which I responded with The Hand and "OH SHIT SON, YOU ARE NOT FUCKING READY FOR FINLAND!" I said, jabbing my thumb at Finland.

"You know Russia?" I said, moving over to Russia. "FUCK RUSSIA!" I said, flicking him off. "This bitch shits his plus-sized pants every time he even THINKS about Finland!"

"Kolkolkolkolkol..."

I held up a paper with the stats of the Finnish army on it. "Oh, fuck me would you just look at those fucking stats?" I said, and started passing the paper around the room.

Walking back over to the blushing Finland, I said "Remember the Vikings? That was this motherfucker's Goddamn CHILDHOOD!"

For dramatic affect, I put my hands to my face in a scared motion. "OH MY GOD he's going to sail a longboat right up your bitch ass!"

With my eyes wide and slowly shaking my head, I said "YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW!"

Finland looked murderous. So did Sweden and Russia. Greece looked mad that I gave him a demon cat, and Denmark still had thorns in him from the rosebush he jumped in earlier.

So I got the fuck out of there before I died.


	25. The Prank War: Blackbeard Edition

Bro, we made it to 1,000 views. I'M SO PROUD OF YOU! You guys are awesomer than Prussia. Seriously.

* * *

Ohio was walking through the house. Not his house, America's house. Where all the states normally stayed unless something crazy was going on or something.

Needless to say, It got LOUD.

While he was walking past the Closet Of Calm The Fuck Down Before Someone Comes Over And Sees How You Idiots Are, he heard some random fighting inside. America would never put two states in the Calm Down Closet together, he would put them in the Closets Of No More Civil Wars Ever So Stop Fighting. Those closets were not fun. He had to go in there a few times when he was fighting with NC over the first in flight thing.

So Ohio knocked on the door, and heard whomever was inside stop fighting. "What's going on in there?" He called.

"Let us out now!" He heard a voice call. It had a southern accent. And it sounded kinda thick. Ohio hoped it wasn't one of the states still bitter about losing the civil war. That would suck.

But, if he didn't open the door, those states would be even madder at him. Maybe Alaska was in there, and that would be horrible. That dude's creepier than Russia! And he lived closer!

So Ohio opened the door. He found two states, it looked like South Dakota and that guy that started the Civil War... Well, he was still a little mad about losing the Civil War. At least South Dakota was here to help him if he needed to kill that South Carolina guy.

"Hey! It's Ohio! Hey Ohio, you don't like NC that much either!" South Carolina said.

"Well, we have a rivalry going and-" Ohio tried to say.

"Great! You wanna help us get back at her and North Dakota?" SC asked.

"Umm...Sure?" Ohio nervously said. Then he spied a piece of paper on the floor. "Hey, what's this?" Ohio read the paper out loud.

Cardinals are red

Wild Prairie Roses are pink

You may ask how we found you

We just followed your stink

Signed,

The North Southern State

The North Northern State

P.S. Roanoke wants me to smack/hit/kick/kill you.

P.P.S. He was hiding in a fucking TREE.

"A tree? Are you serious Roanoke? Gosh! We almost got in huge trouble!" SC said.

"Who's Roanoke?" a confused SD asked.

"He's this colony. I'll tell you later. You're too young to understand."

* * *

NC and ND were having a celebration. They were having a great time congratulating themselves on outsmarting their brothers, when the lights went out.

"What's going on?" ND asked to no one in particular.

"It's just the boys. They're trying to scare us." NC said. Then she leaned in and whispered. "Act really scared at them. I have an idea."

She used some Voodoo that Louisiana had taught her to change her clothes into Blackbeard's clothes. Ah, Blackbeard. That dude was awesome. She also summoned a fake Blackbeard head. Sorry Blackbeard, she thought, But this is to get my idiot brother. Pulling the pirate outfit up so it covered her face, she peeked out through two very convenient holes, and tucked the fake head under her arm.

"Pretend I was never here and that you can't see me," NC told ND, and she moved over to the door. ND grabbed a piece of cake, and sat down in a chair, pretending like she was annoyed that the TV went out.

"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooh," Came three voices. Following NC's orders ND started to look around act scared.

"Who's there?" She said. In came SC, SD, and Ohio dressed up as zombies. "OH MY GOD!"

This was just too easy, thought NC. She stepped out from her place near the door and put her free hand on SC's shoulder.

He turned around and screamed causing the other male states to turn towards SC and freak out. They weren't alive during Blackbeard's time, but sure had heard stories.

"Guys, come on. You got me. But why are you screaming at nothing? Seriously!" SD said. She was now having a hard time not laughing at the three scared states.

"I-It's B-B-Bl-BLACKBEARD!" SC screamed.

"North Carolina is under my protection. Do not bother her, or you might wake up and find you have no navy or cargo ships," NC said, in a damn good imitation of Blackbeard's voice.

"Y-Yes, Sir," SC said. Even SD and Ohio, who really had nothing to fear, were completely terrified. They then ran out of the room.

"DADDY!" They were yelling.

North Carolina poked her head out. "Should we get America?" She asked.

"I heard Britain is over here," ND responded.

* * *

Britain and America were playing chess. America was losing.

"This game is IMPOSSIBLE!" America yelled.

Britain was just about to say something when three horrified states ran in and all started talking at once.

"CALM DOWN!" America yelled at his kids. "Now, what happened?"

"We were gonna prank North Carolina and North Dakota," said SD.

"And then they locked us in the Calm Down Closet," SC said.

"And then I saved them and we were gonna prank them," Said Ohio.

"So we turned off the lights in the living room," Said SD.

"And we were dressed like zombies," Said SC. The face make-up had rubbed off mostly from their tears of terror.

"And we got North Dakota good, but North Carolina wasn't there," Ohio said.

"And then Blackbeard came and tried to kill us!" Finished South Carolina.

"Wait. I thought Blackbeard died!" Britain said.

"OMG! Blackbeard is a GHOST!" America was now freaking out.

"How do you survive? It was obviously just an illusion in the dark," the Logical Britain said.

Just then, NC, who had placed the fake head on top of hers, so it looked exactly like Blackbeard, walked in.

"BLOODY HELL!" Britain screamed.

NC then took off the fake head and threw it at Britain, who freaked out even more. America and the other states ran out of the room, leaving Britain behind to die.

"Well, hello, Mr. Blackbeard. Would you like another Royal Pardon?" Britain nervously asked.

"No."

Britain proceeded to wet himself and run out of the room. ND caught the whole thing on camera from an air duct.

ND jumped out of the duct, and NC used Voodoo to change back into her regular clothes.

"We need to do this again," ND said.

"Oh, yeah."


	26. World War III

America was having a sleepover at his house.

NO, I WILL NOT WRITE YAOI. Just imagine it's there.

The Allies, Axis, Nordic 5, rest of the UK, and pretty much half of Europe was there. Mainly because America basically forced them to go. Oh, yeah, Canada was there too.

To keep the house from burning down, blowing up, having countries being killed over past wars and issues, having states being killed by countries, or just plain being destroyed, America made all his states go to their own houses.

The party was going actually well, despite all that could go wrong.

Until someone suggested having a water gun fight in America's backyard.

First off, let me tell you about America's house/yard.

His house is three stories with multiple balconies and a roof area.

His yard is a nice grassy field, dotted with trees, shrubs, and rocks.

In other words, perfect for a water gun fight.

THE TEAMS AND WEAPONS(First person listed is captain, and chose the teams in this order)  
(Team Captains also chose the team names)

Team America  
America-Assault Water gun  
Britain-Water Balloons(10)  
China-Water Pistols(4)  
France-Sniper

Team Kick-Ass  
Russia-Assault Water gun  
Germany-Water Balloons(10)  
Japan-Water Pistols(4)  
Switzerland-Assault

Team Shut the Fuck up Veneziano  
Romano-Balloons  
Spain-Assault  
Italy-Pistols  
Belgium-Sniper

Team Nords Except for Finland 'Cause He's Weak  
Denmark-Assault  
Sweden-Sniper  
Norway-Balloons  
Iceland-Assault

Team Invisible  
Canada-Assault  
Wales-Sniper  
Ireland-Sniper  
Finland-Assault

Team Frying Pan  
Hungary-Assault  
Austria-Sniper  
Prussia-Balloons  
Scotland-Assault

Team Leftovers  
Lichtenstein-Sniper  
Netherlands-Balloons  
Poland-Pistols  
Lithuania-Assault

THE RULES:  
You are out if you get hit in the head or chest.  
You are revived when you are dry or be revived by team mates if you are brought a life pack(towel)  
If you are "killed", you must fall down.  
If you are hit in the leg, arm, etc. you can't use that limb anymore until dried or find a health pack.  
If your whole team dies before you dry off, you can't come back to life.  
Don't go inside the house.  
Refill at the filling stations, but only when you're out of water or balloons.

THE GAME

Every team got 5 minutes to prepare.

Team Invisible disappeared almost immediately, but their assaults were in the shadows, and their snipers somehow got on the roof.

Team Shut the Fuck up, Veneziano left behind Italy, who was crying about not being with Germany. Romano hid in the bushes, Belgium climbed a tree, and Spain stood in wait behind the tree ready to run out.

Team America had the advantage of having the guy who knew his way around the whole place on their team. America threw France up on a balcony, where he waited for anyone to walk by, and tried to ignore the pain of having to land on a hard balcony. America then threw Britain up with France to throw any balloons at groups, which Britain was not happy about being alone with France, and he and China were ready to charge once the 5 minutes were up.

Team Frying Pan had Austria behind a bush, and Prussia was given the motivation of everyone else saying he wasn't awesome, or so he was told by Hungary, who was ready to run out from behind the sniping bush and "kill" everyone.

Team Kick-Ass had the strategy of having Japan, who was in Ninja mode, with the very portable pistols, ready to run out and clear the way while avoiding attacks, and would be followed by Russia and Switzerland, while Germany threw balloons into the crowd.

Team Nordic Except For Finland 'Cause He's Weak was going to have Sweden and Norway clear the way for Denmark and Iceland, who would charge in and take everyone out.

Team Leftovers put Lichtenstein in a tall tree, and had the others waiting to kill. Except for Poland, who was being Poland.

THE GAME FOR REAL THIS TIME(BTW, I just lost the game, sorry)

Hell pretty much broke lose after the five minutes ended.

The first thing that happened was Italy was killed by Sweden.

After all the people with assault guns ran out, the people with water balloons took the chance to kill a few on the edges, which included Lithuania, Finland, and Switzerland.

Japan then ran through the pack, taking out Spain, Iceland, Scotland and Poland before getting picked off by Lichtenstein.

America ran out of water after killing Norway, and was taken out by Russia while refilling.

Romano ran for a health pack to revive Spain, got it, healed Spain, and threw a balloon up at France and Britain, killing them both.

Austria saw Wales and Ireland on the roof, and killed Ireland and was about to kill Wales before a balloon dropped on his head, courtesy of Netherlands.

Canada, who is pretty much invisible, took out Russia and Lichtenstein, before he ran out of water and had to refill.

Italy dried off, and went to go camp out at the refill station, where he shot Canada.

China found a health pack, and revived America, before they both went on a kill streak consisting of Spain, Poland, Denmark and Belgium before both being killed by Prussia.

TEAM AMERICA IS OUT

Switzerland, Lithuania, and Finland had now dried off, and Switzerland shot Finland and attempted to shoot Lithuania, but missed, before he ran out of water and unknowingly walked into Italy's trap, where he died.

Lithuania ran out and killed Italy, but unluckily for him, Germany saw him kill Italy, and killed Lithuania for revenge.

Hungary took out Wales seconds after he killed Prussia, giving away his position.

TEAM INVISIBLE IS OUT

Spain, Iceland, Scotland, Poland, and Japan dried off.

Sweden sniped Hungary and Netherlands, before Japan Ninja'd behind him and killed Sweden.

Romano and Germany threw balloons at each other. Romano's missed, hitting Iceland instead, and Germany hit Romano, who died with a yell of "POTATO BASTARD!"

TEAM NORDS EXCEPT FOR FINLAND 'CAUSE HE'S WEAK IS OUT.

Poland managed to actually hit someone, that someone being Germany, in the arm, stunning Germany that he got hit, before they were both taken out by Scotland.

TEAM LEFTOVERS IS OUT

Russia dried off and was taken out by Spain almost immediately.

While Spain was distracted by killing Russia, Japan took him out.

TEAM SHUT THE FUCK UP, VENEZIANO IS OUT

Japan then Ninja'd over to Scotland, who was peeking out from behind a bush and Ninja'd him.

Except Japan was out of water.

Scotland turned around and shot him in the face.

Except he was out of water too.

Both of them ran to the refill station where they fought each other over the water.

Japan quickly overpowered Scotland, and refilled his pistols.

Scotland ran and found an Assault Water Gun someone dropped. Shaking it, he found it still had water in it.

All the 'dead' nations were now watching the action unfold around them, and some moved out of the way to avoid being trampled.

But it was too late for Scotland.

"I win," Japan said, and pulled the trigger to the pistol which he had placed on the back of Scotland's head while he was bent over.

TEAM FRYING PAN IS OUT

(almost)Everyone was freaking out and cheering for the quiet nation, who was blushing at the attention.

The ones not cheering were Scotland(who was really upset about losing last minute), Romano(who was blaming Italy and Germany), Denmark and America, who were both upset about their teams being out pretty early on.

They all agreed on having another water gun fight next year, and that water gun fights are the new ways to fight wars.


	27. When States Attack

The 50 states(and DC) (Texas was actually there, he put real glasses on America and prayed he didn't notice) were not exactly happy about being kicked out so America could have a party.(If you're confused, that means you didn't read the last chapter) They were all chilling out in DC's place for the time being.

"I say we declare independence from America!" SC suggested.

"Wasn't losing one civil war enough for you?" New York said. He looked like America, minus Nantucket, and was wearing a Yankees cap, an I NYC t-shirt, and jeans.

"We LOST?" Alabama yelled. Almost everyone in the room facepalmed.

Patting Alabama on the back comfortingly, SC said "I know, man. It's tough." They proceeded to cry and comfort-hug each other. NC and ND took the opportunity to take blackmail pictures.

"Dudes, let's just crash the party!" DC yelled out. Pretty much everyone agreed.

"So, it's us against like 20 nations?" little Hawaii said. She was wearing a grass skirt and a Hawaiian shirt, because America wouldn't let her wear a coconut bra until she turned 16 physically. She also had long, strait black hair going down to her waist, which was pinned out of her face with a hibiscus hair clip, which complemented her (real, unlike California's) tanned skin. "I'm a little scared..."

"I heard Japan was going to be there," California told her.

"I'm in," She said, and got an evil look on her face. Like, eviler than Russia look.

Speaking of Russia. "I would love to try out what Russia taught me on people instead of just bears," Alaska said. Alaska looked like 9-year old Russia, only WAY less evil, and is actually kind of nice. He had the same hairstyle as Russia, which America always begged him to change, plus a random piece of hair he called the Aleutian Islands.

"No killing people," DC reminded him.

"Alright, here's the plan. Everyone that allows crazy fireworks, bring those," NY said. "And-"

"Who put you in charge?" Delaware asked. "I'm the oldest, I should be in charge!"

"Technically I'm the oldest," NC cut in.

"I'm not listening to a guy who's the size of a poker chip!" Nevada cut in. Nevada was smoking, drinking, and gambling on his iPhone, his favorite thing to do. How else would he afford the nice suit he wore. "SHIT. You guys distracted me!" And Nevada went back to gambling.

Delaware, who is 4' 8'', went to go stand by Rhode Island to feel tall.

"Should I bring the lobsters?" Maine asked. She had on a moose sweater and mittens. And jeans. She didn't go pants-less sometimes like some states she knew. She also looked like a female Canada, but was louder and actually noticed.

"Are they live?" DC asked.

"Yes."

"Then yes."

"Should I bring the tar?" you guessed it-NC asked.

"For once, you can," Virginia said. Being the original person threatened by the tar, she knew of it's power well. Stuff takes over a century to come out. Her t-shirt featured the Virginian flag, and someone had taped a sign on her back that said 'Ask me why virgin's in my name.'

"YES!"

* * *

America's party actually had a low casualty rate. Only France had gotten hurt, because he "accidentally" touched Hungary's butt, and was hit with her frying pan. Then he "accidentally" lifted Lichtenstein's skirt, causing Switzerland to pull a random gun out and point it in France's face. France was now scared for his life.

Meanwhile, the states had gathered outside. NC tarred all the exits, just in case someone tried to run. Maine had her lobster army ready to march in through the air ducts. Louisiana had her Voodoo charms ready, and fireworks that are mostly illegal were set up. Idaho had a potato cannon aimed through a window.

"NOW!" DC yelled, and all hell broke loose.

Texas shot a crazy MLG firework down the chimney. All the countries in America's living room proceeded to freak out.

"AMERICA! I think you've been bombed!" Britain yelled.

"NO SHIT!" America responded. "BUT I'M NOT HURT!"

Maine set her lobster army through.

"OH FUCK! IT'S A REVOLT!" America yelled. "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES BEFORE THEY COME!" America tried to run out the front door, but found himself stuck.

"Going somewhere?" NC stepped out of the shadows. "NOW!" She yelled.

Texas jumped down the chimney and landed, holding a huge shotgun. "REMEMBER THE ALAMO!" He said, and aimed for Spain.

"Wrong country, idiot!" Arizona said, before jumping over the tar.

"THERE WILL BE SPUDS!" Idaho screamed, and hit Romano square in the chest with a potato.

"NO! NOT POTATOES!" Romano said before going into shock.

There were now states storming the home; jumping down the chimney, going in through windows, going through the door.

"So now what?" Rhode Island said.

"I don't know, I didn't think we'd make it this far," DC confessed.

The states switched their target from the countries attending the party to DC. DC was thoroughly fucked up.


	28. When States Attack: The Punishment

America was furious. That, combined with super strength, made for a bad day for whomever pissed him off. This time, it was his states.

America, who had stepped into tar, was lucky enough to be wearing socks at the time, and slipped out once all his states were distracted killing DC.

"EVERYONE STOP NOW!" He yelled, making all the states stop fighting, and turn to see their angry dad. "I can't BELIEVE you! What were you thinking?"

"That you kicked us out and we live here?" DC, who was still in a headlock from Texas, said.

"Well, that's still no reason to send fireworks in through the chimney, or lobsters through the vents!"

Every state groaned and started to freak out.

"WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE!" They yelled, and ran out, careful to jump over the tar.

"Hey! COME BACK HERE! WHERE ARE YOU GOING!" America said, and followed his states. He came running back in seconds later with a wild look on his face. "EVERYONE GET OUT NOW BEFORE WE DIE!"

Needless to say, everyone proceeded to freak out at what the superpower could possibly be so scared of, and ran out. They got out just in time to see crazy fireworks explode over the house, shaking it like an earthquake was happening, and the house even caught on fire.

The nations other than America stared in awe at the crazyness of American fireworks.

America looked murderous. "You set my house ON FIRE?"

"Well, the house was just supposed to shake and freak everyone out," Kansas, who looked exactly like Dorothy from Wizard of Oz, said.

America sighed and put his head in his hands. "You are all in huge trouble," he said. Looking up at his states, he said "Texas, get back on my face. I KNEW something was wrong."

Putting Texas back on, he started to hand out punishments. "New York, you must come to the next World Meeting and tell everyone how stupid, dumb and unawesome you are."

NY started crying.

"Alabama, no NASCAR for one season."

Alabama fell to the ground, crying alongside NY.

"South Carolina, you are going to attend a class on why the south lost the civil war."

When the rest of the formerly confederate states(except Alabama) began to laugh at him, America added "All of you. Except Alabama."

They all fell to the ground crying, except NC, who simply said "I didn't want to join them, I was forced. I know why we lost."

"Which is why you'll be handcuffed to Ohio for a week instead of going to the class."

NC and Ohio joined the ranks of crying states.

"New Jersey, you will watch every episode of Jersey Shore ever made."

"NOOOO! THE SHAME!" And NJ curled up in a ball and was rocking like a crazy person.

"California, no fake tanner or tanning salons until I say so."

"No! Then I'll, like, have to lay out in the sun for, like, hours!"

"Florida, Hawaii, no surfing for a month."

The two states began to comfort each other.

"Nevada, no gambling of any sort, smoking of any sort, or drinking of any sort for a week."

"BULL SHIT!" He said, and stalked away.

"Alaska, you can't attend the Iditarod."(We are going to pretend that's how you spell the dog sled race)

"YO! Russia, buy me back!" He yelled.

"No," Russia said to him.

"Wolwolwolwolwol..." Said Alaska, which was his version of Kolkolkol.(Thank you Rebecca Syria for the suggestion!)

"Idaho, no potatoes."

"NOOOOO!" Germany and Ireland began to comfort the now sobbing state.

"Vermont, no maple syrup for a month."

Vermont fainted. "There's no need to be that cruel!" Canada told his brother.

"North and South Dakota," America said.

"Why you gotta say her name first?" SD called out.

"You will be handcuffed to each other for one week."

They both cried on the ground.

"No Voodoo for Louisiana for a month."

She ran over to France and begged him to kill America and take her back.

And so America handed out punishments to all the states. By the end, over half of them were sobbing on the ground, the rest were either passed out or begging countries to take them back.

"Now go rebuild my house!" America said. The states were still crying, and had to drag their KO'd siblings over to the burned house. "You too, Texas!"

"FINE!" Texas said, and morphed back into human form. "But good luck seeing without me, you communist!"

All the states stopped and gasped. No one went there, unless you were tired of living.

"Alright, Texas. I was going to let you off easy, because I need you to see. But, not anymore!" America said, getting madder by the second. He held out his hand expectantly. "Give me your hat."

Texas reached up and touched his gigantic hat self consiously. "My hat?"

"NOW."

Texas slowly took off his hat to reveal hair exactly like Mexico's. When all the other states started laughing at him, one glare back at them shut them up.

America put the hat on his head. "Aw, man, this thing takes me back to the wild west! But, it probably has some lice or something, so I guess I'll just burn it."

"NO!" Texas protested, but America had already thrown the hat onto the still burning house.

It took Texas weeks to get over his loss.


	29. New York's Punishment

"Alright, so before this meeting begins, I would like to introduce my son." America told the countries at the World Meeting. "Some of you have met New York because he was one of the states who destroyed my house at that awesome party I had."

NY refused to look up from the floor, which had a very interesting pattern of beige.

"So New York is here today to say a little speech I've prepared for him."

"IF IT HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH BURGERS, I WILL KILL YOU!" Romano could be heard yelling.

"Hi, I'm New York," NY started reading off a paper, very quietly.

"Louder," America told him.

"Fine. I'm New York, I'm a Dutch colony that was later controlled by Britain, and I'm the 11th state. I am here to say that..." He trailed off, and started mumbling.

"What was that New York? I couldn't hear you?"

"I'm here to say that I'm stupid, dumb, and unawesome."

Every country but America gasped that an American would say something like that.

"And?"

"And my dad is the coolest person in the whole world, and I'm lucky he lets me live after pulling a stunt like The Great House Raid of 2013."

"AND?"

"AND THE YANKEES SUCK!" And NY began to sob uncontrollably.

"Now will you ever conspire like that again?"

"N-NO!" NY said in between sobs. "DAMMIT DAD! What the hell did you do to the south after the civil war thing?!"

"You'll find out if you ever do that again," America said before turning back to the nations astonished at the punishment America chose for his son. "Now, let's get back to work! So, to solve the global warming thing, I say we make a SUPERHERO GLOBO-MAN 9000!"

"AMERICA! That is NO WAY to treat your SON!" Britain stood up and yelled.(Once again I thank the WRITING GENIUS Rebecca Syria for the suggestion)

"But the little shit burned my house down..." America countered.

"I DON'T CARE! You just humiliated him literally in front of the WHOLE WORLD!" Britain told him.

America turned around to see NY still sobbing. "Aw, come on dude, man up!"

Netherlands went over to NY and hugged him. "I haven't seen you like this since you were a little baby! C'mon, let's go to a baseball game," he said, already dreading the baseball game.

"B-But it's not even BASEBALL SEASON!" NY cried, and tears fell harder.(When I wrote this it wasn't)

"AMERICA! I thought you called yourself a hero! But you're just being the villain!" Canada, who was now attempting to comfort NY, told his brother.

America was shocked at those words. He stood there speechless. All he wanted was to show everyone what a good dad he was! Walking over to where NY was crying, he said "New York, I think you've had enough punishment for the next century. You want some ice cream?"

"You're just saying that so you don't look like the dick you are!" NY yelled and ran out of the room.

"New York! Wait!" America said, and ran out of the room. Turning back to the meeting that was still going on, he yelled to them "Don't wait for me!"


	30. New York's Punishment Part 2

NY got lost quickly in the halls. He also wasn't able to retrace his steps, because he'd been crying too hard to see where he'd been going.

So he ducked into the nearest room, which happened to be a storage closet, and cried. NY wasn't sure where all this water came from, he just knew he was more embarrassed than he'd ever been, and his own dad didn't even care.

America was running through the building, trying to find NY. He wasn't having much luck. Until he heard a muffled sobbing coming from a nearby storage closet. He instantly recognized it as the closet where he and Russia... Um... Never mind.(Let your imagination run free!)

He knocked on the door. "New York? Are you in there?"

"GO AWAY!" Yep, he was in there. America made what was possibly a big mistake, and opened the door.

He found NY sitting in a corner, and sat down beside him. He earned a punch in the arm. "You know I'm sorry."

"Sorry that things didn't go your way."

"Sorry that I embarrassed you," America said, and hugged NY.

NY, trying to get him off, said "That was your GOAL! Why would you be sorry?"

"Well, you know I don't think about the consequences of things a lot," America said, pulling away from the hug.

"Obviously not."

"So how bout we pretend this never happened, and go tell everyone else the punishment's off?" said America.

"But you got a meeting to go to, you can't miss it!"

"I also have _fifty kids._ I can miss one World Meeting. Just act sick so I can take you home."

"Say the Yankees are the awesomest thing ever, and I'm cooler than you."

"WHAT? NO WAY I'M-" America started, before he realized that's what he made NY do. "The Yankees are the awesomest thing ever, and New York is cooler than I am. Now, let's blow this pop stand!"

"Now let's get you out of this stupid meeting."

And NY tried to lead them back to the conference room, but had no idea where they were going. America took over the role of line leader.

* * *

The door opened, interrupting Britain's speech on the importance of tea.

"Hey, guys, New York got sick, so Imma take him home, cool?" America said.

"If this is some lame excuse to get out of the meeting and play video games, no," Britain, who was very annoyed at the distraction, said.

"I just wanna make sure that it's not Wall Street, so if you don't want economies to get worse..." America trailed off.

"Dad, can we go now?" NY slowly walked in. "I feel worse." He had picked up these acting skills from none other than Broadway musicals. It was 100% convincing.

"You can go."

"Kay, thanks!" America said, shutting the door. He high-5'ed NY and they had a silent celebration. "That's what I'm talkin' about!" He excitedly whispered.

* * *

"ALRIGHT GUYS, PUNISHMENT'S OFF!" America broke down the new door on his reconstructed house and yelled.

Cheering was heard all around.


	31. The Handcuffed Days

So, as you probably know by now if you've read any of the last 5 or something chapters, all the states were punished. North Carolina got out of going to a class on why the south lost the civil war, and was instead handcuffed to Ohio. The handcuffs were connected to each other by a 3 ft chain, which is a yard, which is like a meter. They were connected for three days before America called off the punishments. This is pretty much what happened during those days.

"I just realized something," Ohio said, almost as soon as the handcuffs were attached by America.

"What? Don't say that you're actually mad in love with me and you're now going to rape me horribly!" NC told him.

"No, how are we going to change clothes?"

"I guess we'll cut them off, good thing I'm not wearing my bomber jacket today, and pants will be easy."

"Yeah, but how will we get clothes back on?"

Well, this was going to be a rather awkward week.

* * *

DAY 1

They were handcuffed right after breakfast.

It would be the last meal they ate relatively peacefully until they got free.

Ohio was actually being kinda cool about it, which reenforced NC's idea that he was going to rape her horribly. "Dude, it's been like an hour and you haven't killed me over the first in flight thing. What's buggin' you?"

"I just don't want Blackbeard to kill me for bothering you," Ohio said. "What's so funny?" he asked when NC started to laugh.

"Nothin', just dying of laughter!" And she laughed until she started choking and Ohio had to hit her back a few times.

"But why?"

"No reason!" And she almost choked again. From laughter.

Lunch was a whole new challenge. NC could eat fine, since she was right handed, but Ohio, also right-handed, had to deal with the chain that was attached to his wrist. He got food all over the table and floor that they had to clean up.

"Why're you makin' me clean the floor when you get the easy table?" NC asked.

"Because you're older!"

They cleaned it in over 2 hours when it should have taken them about 15 minutes.

Then NC had to pee.

"Oh, BULL SHIT!" NC yelled.

"What did you do?" Ohio called from the hall where he was standing right outside the door.

"I got my damn period!" Ohio proceeded to freak out. NC was NOT fun to hang around when she was PMSing. She was like a female Alaska when he just moved in. And he was handcuffed to her? Yep, Ohio was going to die.

Hearing the toilet flush and the sink going, he knocked on the door. "Please don't kill me," He told her.

"No promises, let's just go, I gotta go change," She said.

"Why?" Ohio wondered.

"You're such a guy! 'Cause I don't want to walk around with blood in my underwear all day!"

"Oh..." Ohio had a feeling he was going to learn a lot more about "that time of the month" this week.

So they reached NC's room. "Face the wall, turn around and die," NC told him. Ohio occupied himself with posters of North Carolinian sports teams. A basketball team was actually called Tar Heels. NC herself probably forced them to be called that.

"K, we're all good!" NC said.

"NC, did you name all these teams?" Ohio asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"How many strings did you have to pull to name that one Tar Heels?"

* * *

Dinner went pretty much the same as lunch, only this time ND and SD ate with them. Both pairs were surprised they hadn't killed each other yet.

"I swear, this guy's not going to survive the week," ND was telling them. SD started to fear for his life. "How've you guys been doing?"

"Well, she almost killed me after I kinda insulted one of her sports teams, but then it was all good once she threw me out the window, and forgot about the handcuffs, and flew out after me," Ohio said.

"Hey, at least I flew, and didn't fall," NC said.

"You wanna go?"

"Any time, short stuff!"

ND and SD had to pull them apart.

* * *

"Nice job lasting this long," NC said from the hall. Ohio made it through the whole day without having to pee.

"Well, when you've been industrial as long as I have, you can't exactly go in the middle of work," Ohio told her.

"Well, old people lose bladder space," NC annoyingly said.

"C'mon, you can't be that old!"

"Try first North American British colony."

"No way."

"Yes, way, and I don't care what Delaware says, I'm older!"

"Dude, you're old."

"That's what I just said!"

* * *

They decided to sleep in NC's room because it was bigger.

"When I was little, Britain told me that if I ever had a boy in my bed, he'd kill me. And the boy," NC said.

"Good thing he doesn't control you anymore, I don't want to die!" Ohio said.

"Sure, just don't rape me, and don't snore.

"Don't kill me, rape me, or snore and we'll be good."

"Deal."


	32. The Handcuffed Days Part 2

DAY 2

NC and Ohio managed to wake up without any awkward positioning. Only after they got up would any real freaking out happen.

"OH MY GOD! NC LOOK JAPAN CAME AND REPLACED THE SHEETS WITH HIS FLAG!" Ohio yelled, waking up half the states in the house.

Ohio was hit in the head. "Dude, calm down! It's just period blood! Seriously! You're such a guy!" She told him.

"NC? You ok in there?" Virginia was at the door. "I heard Ohio yelling. Don't tell me you killed him already or something!"

"Nah, we're good! He was just freaking out about periods!" NC called.

"Oh, dude. Ohio, you are going to die if you piss her off," Virginia was a great motivational speaker.

"Yeah, I kinda figured that," Ohio said.

"Let's just go, I gotta change my pad," NC said, and tugged on the chain.

NC stormed out the door, and pretty much dragged Ohio behind her. Virginia had already left to avoid NC's wrath, which was enhanced by Ohio's presence and PMS.

While NC was in the bathroom, Maryland walked by where Ohio was standing.

"You're not dead yet?" He said. "Stay alive for a few more hours and I'll win the bet, K?"

NC slammed the door open. "They're taking BETS?" She yelled at the now terrified state.

"...Maybe?"

"I guess I'll kill ALL OF YOU!" and she lunged for Maryland. But she fell short due to the restricting power of the handcuffs. Maryland took his opportunity to run.

Breakfast was a disaster. Ohio had a very hard time eating his cereal, and NC was sitting there laughing at him while eating a pickle.

All the southern states minus Alabama walked into the kitchen on their way out the door. Some were already in tears.

"You guys going to that class?" NC asked them, with pickle still in her mouth.

"Yes..." SC said, with tears streaming down his face.

"I will go with you, if you get me disconnected from this asshole."

"HEY!" Ohio said, and tackled NC while knocking over his cereal. She then shoved the rest of her pickle into his mouth, choking him. He was unfazed by the lack of breathing, and continued to punch NC wherever he could. It took over 18 states plus the whole south to separate them.

After getting the cereal and milk mostly off of them, they wandered around the house looking for something to do. Walking past New Jersey's room, they heard crying.

"Jersey? You in there?" Ohio said, while NC knocked on the door.

"Yeah..." He said, and opened the door.

The teenage Romano lookalike had tears streaming down his face, and had a paused episode of Jersey Shore on his tv. "Please, make it stop."

The handcuffed pair shut the door before they could be forced to watch Jersey Shore.

Lunch went even worse than breakfast. They started a whole food fight. They then spent almost the whole rest of the day cleaning up, which isn't easy to do while handcuffed.

By the time they finished cleaning, they had about an hour until dinner. NC spent the time trying to strangle Ohio with the chain, and Ohio spent the time trying not to die.

The southern states returned in the middle of dinner. Almost all of them were in tears, and one or two were being carried because they passed out. NC and Alabama, who was still bummed about no NASCAR, ran over to comfort their siblings. Ohio got dragged unwillingly into this whole thing.

The states who had attended the class were "itchin' for Yankee blood," which sucked for Ohio, who was the closest northern state there. NC also got partially beat up from being so close to the victim of assault.

By the time they finally went to bed, NC and Ohio had some new battle scars. Mostly from each other. They started fighting about the first in flight thing again. But, they still managed to go to sleep peacefully.

* * *

DAY 3

NC and Ohio may have dodged the awkward train yesterday morning, but today they didn't. They woke up spooning. Well, Ohio woke up. His screaming woke up NC.

"DUDE SHUT UP!" She yelled at him and slapped him. Similar yelling could be heard across the house where ND and SD were waking up.

"But... we were-" Ohio started.

"NEVER SPEAK OF IT!"

Breakfast went similar to yesterday's, only without as much fighting. America left with NY in tow to go to the world meeting.

"Help me!" NY whispered as America dragged him out the door.

Both NC and Ohio shook their heads.

There was more pain when they fell down the stairs and into Tony.

"Fucking Bitch," Tony said.

NC punched him while his back was turned, and Ohio freaked out and apologized before getting punched by Tony, who thought that he was the one that punched him. NC laughed until she couldn't breathe. They began to fight again.

Ohio forced NC to watch tv with him, and that's what they were doing when America broke down the door.

" ALRIGHT GUYS, PUNISHMENT'S OFF!" America yelled. Almost every state within earshot(which was all of them, have you heard America yell?) started cheering and ran into the room. The states not cheering were the southern states, who had already received their punishment, and Texas, who was on America's face, but still wouldn't be cheering even if he wasn't. His hat was still burned.

* * *

Sorry guys, but no updates for the next 4 days. I've gotta be in a wedding. I hate weddings. And dresses. Especially fancy dresses.


	33. Japan and Hawaii

Japan was over at America's house discussing diplomatic stuff. They were just finishing when Hawaii ran into the room already in her bathing suit.

"DADDY! Can I go surfing?" She said, then she spotted Japan. "You... Hey, can Japan go surfing with me?"

"I'm sorry, but I don't know how to surf!" Japan replied quickly. He was already freaking out at what was about to happen.

"Aw, c'mon, Japan, we'll teach you! I'll go too!" America, who obviously didn't get the tenseness of the situation, said.

"But I don't have anything to wear!" Japan protested.

"Nah, you left some of your stuff here the last time you were over!" And just like that, Japan's dreams of living were crushed.

"Japan... Come surfing with us..." Hawaii said, and started tugging on Japan's arm.

Japan sighed and asked America to show him where his stuff was.

* * *

Whilst they were walking through the house, Ohio spotted Japan. Japan was tackled.

"WHY DID YOU CHANGE THE SHEETS WHILE I WAS SLEEPING ON THEM?" Ohio said, pinning Japan beneath him. NC heard this and counter-tackled Ohio off Japan.

"OH MY GOD WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS!" She yelled, while pinning him underneath her. Japan took mental notes for a hentai he would write later. The two commenced to fight while America and Japan walked to where America was holding some of Japan's stuff hostage.

"Here's your stuff, I'm pretty sure that you've got some swim stuff there, but since I'm not a stalker, I wouldn't know," America said.

"Thank you," said Japan, taking his stuff while America closed the door so he could change.

Japan was less than happy about having to learn how to surf from a girl who more than likely wanted to snap his head off his shoulders. He pondered the possibilities of how he could get out of surfing while putting on his swim trunks, which were in the stuff that he had left. They were modeled after the Japanese flag. Which, of course, left a very awkward red dot on his crotch.

"You look like you got your man-period," a random female state said when he exited the room. She was in a bikini, and was looking Japan, who was wearing a tight swim-shirt, up and down. "I'm Florida, and you're Japan. Rethink your flag." And she walked away, leaving Japan standing there dumbfounded.

"Well, you are surfing aren't you? You're supposed to follow me!" She said and waited. Japan followed her silently, not wanting to make the situation more uncomfortable than it already was.

When they got to the beach(which was just a short walk away from America's house), America was waiting(in American flag swim trunks) with Hawaii and California.

"HEY JAPAN YOU'RE HERE NOW YOU CAN LEARN HOW TO SURF I BROUGHT THE BEST IN THE WORLD AT SURFING TO TEACH YOU AND OF COURSE I'M HERE IN CASE SOMEONE STARTS TO DROWN SO I CAN BE THE HERO!" America yelled, and ran to Japan.

"You look like you, like, got your man-period," California informed Japan.

"OK JAPAN, HERE'S YOUR SURFBOARD, DON'T DROWN," America yelled AGAIN when they started walking to the ocean.

Hawaii was still staring at Japan murderously, probably waiting for the perfect opportunity to hold Japan's head under the water until he stopped moving. Which she was probably capable of. She does have super strength, after all.

"I got this guys, you can go surf now," Hawaii told her siblings.

"You sure?" Florida asked. Then some random girls walked past the spot America was occupying. "DAD! STOP STARING AT TITS!" And she ran off to yell at America.

"Yeah, I'm the best!" Hawaii gloated.

"Ok, but only, like, because I gotta go, like, make sure Florida doesn't, like, kill dad or anything," California said, and followed Florida back to the shore. Japan was now alone with Hawaii in waist-deep water which could easily be used to drown a person. Or country.

"OK! So, the first thing you have to do is-" Hawaii said before getting interrupted by Japan.

"Please don't murder me for bombing you, I am sorry and have already been punished for it, and if you don't believe me I'll show you the scars on my back and stomach, and-" Japan said, freaking out.

"What are you talking about?" Hawaii asked.

"You mean you aren't going to kill me for Pearl Harbor?"

"Nah, I got to press the buttons when you got nuked! It was fun! Nuking countries is fun! Maybe I'll do it again sometime..."

Japan fainted. In the ocean. He had to be rescued.

* * *

Sorry if this sucks! I got distracted by the Internet multiple times, so...


	34. Japan and Hawaii Part 2

When Japan awoke from his blacked out sleep, the first thing he saw was America staring down at him.

"JAPAN! I TOLD YOU NOT TO DROWN!" He yelled at the still groggy nation.

"What happened?" Japan said, holding his head. It kinda hurt.

"You passed out and Hawaii swam you to shore where she gave you mouth-to-mouth until America came and took over," Florida said. Japan was now blushing until he realized how easily Hawaii could have given him a slow acting, very painful poison while he was out cold. That was probably her strategy. He jumped up and grabbed Hawaii by the shoulders.

"What did you do? What did you give me? Why did you plan to kill me?" He yelled in a polite manner while shaking Hawaii back and forth.

"I just thought I saved...your...LIFE!" Hawaii said before bursting into tears. "PLEASE DON'T HURT ME, MR. JAPAN! I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS NOW! I DON'T WANT TO ALMOST DIE AGAIN! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING, I PROMISE!" And Hawaii collapsed in sobs on Japan's chest, making for a very awkward situation.

"I feel like I missed something," America said.

"Me, too," California said.

"Same here," Florida said.

"So, what happened right before you had to be saved by THE HERO IN TRAINING?" America asked.

"I asked her not to drown me for Pearl Harbor, and she said she wanted to drop more atomic bombs on me, but she's not mad about it," Japan answered.

"There's no way sweet little Hawaii would say something like that!" Florida said.

"Yeah, she's, like, the nicest state I know!" California said. Florida glared at her. "Florida's, like, the second nicest state I know, but, like,"California put on some random sunglasses. "she can be, like, kind of a dick. YEAH!" And then she ran away as fast as her orange legs could take her from Florida's wrath.

"WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS!" America yelled, and followed the two. Leaving Japan and Hawaii alone. Again.

"How about this?" Japan said, looking down to Hawaii, who was still gently crying. "If I promise not to kill or harm you in any way, will you promise the same?"

"I pinky-promise with cherries and sugar on top!" Hawaii said, and held out her pinky expectantly. Japan took it in his own, sealing the deal.

"So about those surfing lessons..."

"Do I still have to learn?"

"Yes." And Japan spent the rest of the day trying to not fall off the surfboard. Emphasis on the word "trying."


	35. The Curl Predicament

Romano was walking through the halls of the World Meeting building. His progress of getting to where ever he needed to be was suddenly halted by someone in his path.

"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING, BASTARD!" He yelled, and got up. Well, he tried to get up, his curl was stuck. "CHIGI!"

"i'm sorry Romano, it's just- MAPLE!" Canada said at the same time. The random shout of maple was brought on by a pull on his curl. Yes, the two curls are stuck together.

"WHAT DO WE DO NOW, BURGER BITCH?" Romano yelled at Canada, whom he thought was America.

"actually, i'm Canada..." Canada said. "and i don't know what to do, i guess wait for someone to help..."

"You're not Cambodia, you liar!"

"no, Canada, the one north of America."

"There's a country north of America?"

"yes, that's me!"

"WELL, WHAT DO WE DO NOW, CANADIA?"

"close enough..."

And so they tried working the tangle apart themselves, but with only about 4 inches between them, they only succeeded in arousing themselves and making the knot worse.

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" Romano yelled, and slapped Canada.

"owwww... and how is it my fault?" Canada said, rubbing his now stinging cheek.

"IF YOU HAD BEEN MORE VISIBLE I WOULD HAVE SEEN YOU, YOU BASTARD!"

And so America walked by. "Yo, bro, wazzup!" He called to Canada.

"hey, America, i'm a little stuck here, could you help us?" Canada said, gesturing to the two curls.

"Sure!" America said, and pulled out a pocket knife.

"NO! HOW THE HELL DID YOU EVEN GET THAT IN HERE?" Romano yelled. "DON'T CUT IT OFF!"

"Ok, then," And America grabbed their heads and yanked them apart. He then walked away scarred from what happened next between Romano and Canada.


	36. British Lingo

This is probably going to offend somebody. But, I am about to imitate the way that the very British Gavin Free talks. Also, if you are easily offended, Hetalia is not the show for you.

Also, we have over 2000 views. I am happy. And Buon San Valentino is coming out tonight, and I'll be up all night waiting for it to be uploaded to the Internets and Englishified, and then I'll have to find it, and I know what happens already 'cause I've read the strip, so I'm having an all night waste time for Hetalia party, and why do I even need subs if I know what goes down? I can figure it out.

* * *

Somehow, I managed to kidnap Gavin Free from Achievement Hunter. I then teleported him into Hetalia.

Yes, it was a World Meeting.

Then Gavin glowed it up during a speech of some country that I'm to lazy to make a speech for.

"I AM MINGED OFF," Gavin said. His British accent and strange way of speaking caused Britain to walk over to him and speak in a similar way that confused everyone else in the room.

"Did one of those girls saffy you with the hob and gaff you here?" Britain asked.

"Yes, and I am absolutely poppers about the whole thing."

"Shall we go wev for High Tea with the Queen out by Big Ben?"

"Sounds toppy-tippers!"

And the duo left, leaving behind quite a few confused nations.

"I hate it when he gets like this," Ireland said.

"We better go lock the doors!" Wales said.

"And hide the alcohol," Scotland reminded them.

And then those three left.

"Gosh, I remember the first and last time I saw Britain like this!" America said, and began pacing. "Totally won that war, though, but STILL!"

"WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN WHAT IS GOING ON?!" Germany yelled.

"No one knows," All the nations who knew about it said.


	37. Marco Polo

America had the great(read stupid) idea to take some of his states along to the World Meeting for some reason that I am way to lazy to come up with. It's a logical(for America) reason, though. So I'm just going to come up with individual reasons for the states.

He took along Florida so no one would kill her again, Texas because he had to to see, California so he could brag about movies, Hawaii because she wasn't leaving California and Florida at the same time, the Carolina twins because...( because I live there and I can) well, no one really knew, and New York was there to discuss economies.

So they were all (Except Texas) chilling out at the pool of the hotel they were in, and Florida was suddenly all like: "LET'S PLAY MARCO POLO!"

"Who's gonna be Marco?" NY asked.

"Rock Paper Scissors for it?" Hawaii said.

So after a couple rounds of RPS, the winner was proclaimed Marco Polo. It came down to a final match between California and SC, California being the winner.

"I DECLARE INDEPENDENCE FROM THIS GAME!" SC yelled out once he lost.

"No you don't, we're your ride," NC reminded him.

"Yeah... I guess you're right," SC said, before getting knocked underwater by a flying 5-year old.

"ROANOKE! How'd you get here!?" NC said, as she attempted to pull him off of her now suffocating brother.

"You left me at home! I don't like it there!" Roanoke said, finally letting go of SC, who was taking in air like he was just almost suffocated by a 5-year old.

"So who's this?" Florida asked.

"This," NC said, gesturing to Roanoke, "is the first North American British colony, the Lost Colony of Roanoke."

"I'M THE OLDEST ONE HERE!" Roanoke proudly proclaimed.

"No you ain't!" Florida said.

"So yay, you've all met Roanoke, so let's play the stupid game!" SC said before NC could start something.

"What game?" Roanoke asked.

"Marco Polo," NC told him.

"What's that?" Roanoke said, causing everyone but NC to gasp.

"You, like, don't know what, like, Marco Polo is?" California said and dramatically fanned herself.

"I was in a tree for like 500 YEARS! So how do you play?"

"Who ever's Marco closes their eyes and swims around trying to find people and tag them by only saying 'MARCO' and listening for a response of 'POLO'," NC told him.

"Oh, cool, I CALL MARCO!" He said, and closed his eyes. "MARCO!"

"Hey, I'm, like, Marco!" California said.

"Well too bad!"

"Just let him be, Cali, kid's stubborn," SC said.

"HEY! MARCO!"

"Polo!" they all responded with some protesting.

"MARCO!"

"Polo!"

At this point, the Italy's walked in.

"Ve~ Romano, why are they mocking Marco Polo?" Italy said, on the verge of tears.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING, BASTARDS?" Romano yelled at them.

NC seemed to sense what was about to happen and moved to cover Roanoke's ears.

"HOW DARE YOU BASTARDS MOCK THE GREATEST EXPLORER EVER, EVEN THOUGH HE CAME FROM MY BROTHER'S PART OF THE COUNTRY, BUT HE WAS STILL BETTER THAN ANY OF YOU IDIOTS COULD HOPE TO BE," Romano then let out a string of cusses in both English and Italian.

The states present would never play Marco Polo again, at fear of being jumped by the Mafia.


	38. Murder in the Dark

Have you ever wondered what the states do when America is away at a World Meeting or something?

It's basically one gigantic country-wide house party. Minus alcohol. None of them are physically old enough for that stuff legally. Or a big sleepover with no chaperones. So things get crazy.

"Yo, bro, let's play Murder in the Dark!" NY yelled out.

"Does it involve actual murder?" Rhode Island said.

"Naw, just pretend murder!" NY reassured him.

So all the states, minus Texas, and DC agreed to play Murder in the Dark.

"OK, so pick a paper out of this bag and don't look at it yet!" NY said. Everyone took a paper. "OK, now everyone go around the house and look at the paper. Don't turn on the lights though, it has to be REALLY dark! One of us will be the murderer, and they try to kill everyone before someone sees them kill someone! Ready... GO!"

And everyone took off to random places in the house. Alaska was the murderer. However, he missed the "this is just pretend murder" part. His head filled with screams of pain as he killed people, but then he remembered that he couldn't get caught. Oh, well. He could still use those moves Russia taught him. Sneaking around, he saw a small group of three girls. He recognized them as Hawaii, California, and Florida. He thought they would be great first targets. Alaska silently walked up to the unsuspecting group and grabbed Florida from behind. He sliced open her neck before she could even react. But the other two had time to react.

California and Hawaii were screaming at the top of their lungs while California tried to hit Alaska with a random surfboard she pulled out of nowhere, and Hawaii was freaking out in fetal position, whispering to herself about no more Pearl Harbors.

"Oh, you caught me," Alaska said calmly.

The screams of two terrified states caused everyone else to come running. One look at Florida in a pool of her own blood and California attacking Alaska with a surfboard and Hawaii curled up made them believe that California was the murderer.

Meanwhile, America was giving a speech on the importance of burgers. He suddenly dropped to his knees, causing some to run to his aid and others(ahemRussiaahem) to take blackmail pictures.

They found him holding his bloodstained crotch and moaning in pain.

"America! What happened?" Britain asked.

"Florida... owwwww... she musta... been... attacked..." America groaned. Everyone turned to look at North Korea.

"Wasn't me!" He said, holding his hands up. Everyone turned to Russia.

"I did not harm America, though his pain makes me pleasure-smile."

At this point, DC teleported to America using his special Teleport to America power. "Dad! Florida was killed either by California or Alaska, we don't know which yet, because Hawaii's still traumatized, and both Cali and Alaska were fighting while we were playing Murder in the Dark, and one of them didn't know that it wasn't real murder, and-"

"Please...say she's...healing!" America slowly said.

"Oh, ummm... Hold on, lemmie check," DC said before teleporting away and teleporting back a second later.

"Yeah, her neck is healing good, and we found out it was Alaska."

Russia silently congratulated himself on his spectacular parenting techniques.


	39. Carolinas vs Snow

North and South Carolina were arguing over how to tell Roanoke about the Internet. They were at Roanoke's house, which was basically NC's beach house that Roanoke took over. Suddenly, Roanoke ran into the room.

"GUYS! THE SKY IS FALLING!" Roanoke was freaking out. The twins looked out the window and started screaming.

It. Was. Snowing.

In March.(This takes place around mid-March)

In North Carolina.

Not that much, you could barely see it.

But they both started freaking out and ran outside celebrating.

* * *

This is pretty much what went down in my class one day. We were talking about how broke Germany was in between the two world wars and then another one of my teachers came in and the teacher who's class I was in was like "Sorry we were so loud," 'cause she had just been singing a parody of the horrible song "Racks" about the stacks and stack of money, but my other teacher was like "No, bro, it's snowing" and we all freaked out and ran to the window, and everyone kept periodically getting up to see if it was still snowing.(Man, I am awesome at run on sentences)


	40. Why Italy is Called Italy

It happened soon after the Italian Unification. Italy and Romano were arguing over who got to be called Italy. 10 minutes later, the argument escalated into an all out brawl. Spain was unfortunate enough to walk in during the middle of it to see how his little tomato was doing.

What he saw caused him to never quite believe that Italy was as sweet and innocent as everyone thinks.

Italy was forcing Romano's head into a pot of boiling water, while Romano stabbed wildly with a big knife.

"Non mi importa che tu sia grande, mi sto per essere Italia, hai capito, figlio di puttana?" Italy said, letting Romano up for air.(I don't care that you're older, I'm going to be Italy, understand, motherfucker?)

"Come cavolo che lo farai! Ho intenzione di essere Italia Bastardo!" Romano yelled back, and stabbed Italy in the stomach.(Like hell you will! I'm Italy, you bastard!)

Italy, seemingly unfazed by the knife that was in his gut and the blood that was pouring out of him, tackled Romano to the ground. Romano grabbed the pot of water in an attempt to stay up, and poured the boiling water on both of them.

Spain left before they noticed him, and never looked at either of them the same.


	41. Pirates are Legit

"EVERYONE NEEDS TO RUN RIGHT NOW IF THEY LIKE TO BE ALIVE!" SC ran into the living room yelling before jumping out the window. A synchronized yell of "OW" let them know that SC had landed safely on another state.

"So, the south is out of sweet tea again?" New Hampshire thought.

"And Georgia is flipping again," Vermont said.

"So, no need to freak out," Connecticut said.

The rest of the states nodded in agreement. There were maybe 15 in there watching a show that I am too lazy to name. They were all just chillin' for about 30 more seconds.

And then a sword goes through the closed door. Needless to say, everyone freaked out. Then the door was kicked down.

And on the other side of the door was...

North Carolina.

Everyone instantly assumed she was on her period.

Y'know, until she started yelling in pirate speak.

Virginia, who was in the room, now fully understood why SC had just run through the room absolutely scared.

"HOLY CRAP WE GOTTA GO!" She yelled, and started pushing her way out of the room. "BLACKBEARD'S BACK!"

And all hell broke loose. There was screaming, pushing, all that stuff, and all NC had to do was stand there and look threatening. The funny part was, even landlocked states were freaking out.

DC, caught up in all the excitement, used his Teleport to America power. He was playing chess with Britain, and losing.

"DAD! BLACKBEARD'S GHOST TOOK OVER NC AND NOW SHE'S TAKING OVER THE HOUSE AND oh hey, Britain, you wanna go fight Blackbeard, you pyromaniac?" DC said.

"So, a ghost has possessed North Carolina?" America asked.

"I would rather not fight a dead pirate right now," Britain said.

"Preform an exorcism, play chess with Britain..." America weighed the options. "ALRIGHT, BRITAIN! SINCE YOU WERE A PIRATE,"

"I CERTAINLY WAS NOT!" Britain yelled back.

"Yeah you were, France told me. So, YOU'RE GOING TO BACK THE HERO UP!" America said, and grabbed the arms of both DC and Britain. America used his Transport to a State power that I just made up on the spot because I can.

They teleported right behind NC, who was laughing manically at the fear she caused.

Britain grabbed NC and held a handkerchief over her mouth and nose until she went limp.

"Dude, what the hell was that? You can't just kill my daughter!" America yelled at Britain.

"Relax, it was just a knock-out gas that I will not tell you the name of in case you decide to use it against me," Britain said, picking up the KO'ed state.

"...Didn't we make chem warfare illegal?" America asked.

"THIS IS NOT ILLEGAL! Now let's just get her back to my home," Britain said. "TINKERBELL! We need to go home, NOW!"

And they got back to England.

"So, why do you even carry around that knock-out rag anyways?" America asked, oblivious to the fact that DC was left behind.

"In case Frog-Face decides to come over, and hold this for a tick," Britain said, handing America NC, who was now whispering "Arggh" In her sleep.


	42. Pirates are Legit Part 2

"So, what are you doing?" America asked Britain, who was rummaging in random drawers.

"Looking for a particular potion...AHA!" Britain exclaimed.

"So, what's that going to do?"

"Hopefully, force Blackbeard out of Carolina."

"This is North Carolina..."

"Well, she used to be just Carolina! Never mind that, take her downstairs!" Britain said, opening a door leading to some stairs.

America started down the stairs and flipped when he saw the basement. "DUDE! What do you do here, summon demons?"

"No, just Russia," Britain muttered. He put on his cloak-thingy. "Go place her in that circle there."

And so America put NC down. Britain began chanting stuff that I don't want to type, so deal with it. Then the circle began to glow.

America backed up against the wall. "Britain..."

Britain ignored or didn't hear America call his name, because he leaned forward and poured the potion on NC, who was now levitating.

NC woke up, and Britain took a step back, shocked. She fell to the ground, which kinda hurts when you've been levitating about 6 inches off the ground, and sat up, all mad looking.

"WHAT THE HELL, DUDE?" She yelled at Britain.

"NORTH CAROLINA! YOU'RE OK!" America said, and ran to embrace her in a fatherly hug.

"Yeah, but, why'd you guys knock me out and bring me... Where are we?" NC said.

"We're at my home," Britain told her.

"Yeah, but why'd you bring me here, and put me in this circle?"

"I preformed an exorcism, Blackbeard's ghost possessed you."

"WHAT?"

"Yeah, but luckily THE HERO WAS THERE!" America said, and struck a heroic pose.

"NO, I WAS NOT POSSESSED! I WAS GETTING SOUTH FOR TELLING ROANOKE ABOUT FIREWORKS!" She yelled.

"Who's Roanoke?" America asked.

"Why don't you ask Britain?" NC said, who was holding up the pact she made with SC to keep everyone convinced that it was Britain that lost Roanoke, not them.

"Who's Roanoke?" America turned to the older nation.

"A colony... HOW IS HE STILL ALIVE?"

"HOW COME I NEVER HEARD ABOUT THIS?" America wondered.

"Probably because Britain here failed at colonies twice in a row. And then you went to VIRGINIA and now I have to deal with her LIES about being the OLDEST!" NC said. "NOW HOW DO I GET OUT OF HERE? I HAVE TO GO TEACH A SHAG CLASS!"

"YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO SHAG!" Britain yelled.

"HEY, I'M THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN YELL AT MY KIDS, AND IF SHE WANTS TO SHAG, SHE CAN SHAG!"

And America grabbed NC's hand and they teleported away. Britain was left in a state of distress at America's thoughts on his kids shagging, which is slang for sex in Britain, if you weren't aware.


	43. Coke vs Pepsi

Roanoke walked by NC whilst carrying a Coca-Cola.

"WHO GAVE YOU THAT?" NC yelled, snatching away the soda.

"That girl Georgia," Roanoke said whilst reaching for his Coke.

"IT'S ON, BITCH!" NC said, crushing the can and stalking out of the room.

"My soda!" Roanoke protested.

"Have a Pepsi!" NC yelled back, tossing him a random Pepsi she pulled out of nowhere.

Sipping it, Roanoke commented on the flavor. "It tastes the same..."

* * *

Georgia was eating a peach. Notice the past-tense 'was'. NC shoved it down her throat.

"DON'T GIVE ROANOKE SHITTY SODA!"

Georgia, unable to respond in the normal sense, replied by hitting/kicking NC wherever possible. Then she coughed up the peach in NC's face, temporarily blinding the state. Georgia took the opportunity to run and hide somewhere for a sneak attack.

Once NC had successfully cleared the peach out of her eyes, she looked around from the floor(she also tackled Georgia to the ground) to see where Georgia went. With no Georgia in sight, NC stalked off to find her.

* * *

Georgia figured that NC wouldn't expect her to go to NC's room and trap it. So she did.

"Hey, Georgia, whacha doin'?" America came up to her and asked.

"NC attacked me, so I'm getting payback!" Georgia responded, without looking up from the trap she was carefully setting up.

"Why'd she attack you?"

"I gave Roanoke a Coke."

At this point, Texas transformed into a human, and yelled "DR. PEPPER!" and started beating the mess out of Georgia.

* * *

"DR. PEPPER!"

NC looked up from her search in the bushes in front of the house and decided that following the yells of the other major soda competitor was the best way to find her enemy.

* * *

Meanwhile, America was having a hard time pulling the two states apart. Virginia, who was in her room, came out to yell at them for making so much noise.

"VIRGINIA! Help me with this!" America pleaded.

"PEPSI WILL REIN SUPREME!" And NC joined the brawl when she jumped everyone.

Virginia was too busy laughing to help in anyway other than documenting the moment on her phone.

America had the best idea ever. "STOP FIGHTING NOW OR NO SWEET TEA!"

The three paused. "You wouldn't dare..." Texas said.

"Wanna try me?"

They stopped fighting, and secretly began a war that no one knew about but themselves.


	44. Germany's Issues with the Avengers

So, like a year ago, all the countries were super excited for The Avengers to come out.

And they saw the midnight premiere.

Of course, everyone loved it, but Germany had some issues with the movie.

"America, why did the insane wannabe dictator try to conquer Germany first?" he asked.

"Ummm..."

"And then all of Germany was saved by Captain America?"

"Uhhh... WHO WANTS MORE POPCORN?"


	45. America and Florida: The Connection

Warning:

This chapter is awkward, hilarious and contains minor sexual themes.

I just wrote a warning for the whole fanfic...

* * *

First off, the state of Florida is bigger than the whole country of England. I thought that is lolz.

Also, all the states are around 8-10 at this point, except for the Carolinas and Florida, who are about 12-ish, and America is about 16. That doesn't really matter, though. Neither does the fact that Roanoke is still in the tree.

It happened very soon after Florida became a state. She was fighting with NC and Delaware about who was the oldest one. Then, of course, SC started fighting too because he's NC's twin and Virginia started fighting because of Jamestown. Soon after the fight was broken up by the other states, Florida started laughing for no reason and running around.

"Florida, what's wrong?" Louisiana, who was in the middle of holding down the Carolinas, Delaware and Virginia via Voodoo dolls. The only reason that she wasn't holding Florida down was because she needed a new moon and fresh rainwater to make one. She already had the hair, spit, and blood from Florida needed to make the doll. But there were clouds in the sky, and Louisiana was hopeful.

"Louisiana! Put that witchcraft away!" Massachusetts protested.

"HAHA! I DON'T KNOW! I'M JUST SO HAPPY ALL OF A SUDDEN! YAY! WOO!" Florida yelled, resisting the efforts of 5 states (which you can use your imagination to come up with because I don't feel like it) to stop her from bouncing up and down and doing random flips and such.

"SOMEONE GO GET AMERICA!" Virginia yelled.

Rhode Island ran out of the room.

Florida then threw up.

* * *

Rhode Island ran to America's room.

When he got there about 15 seconds after Florida threw up.

"DADDY! FLORIDA WENT CRAZY AND IS DANCING AND JUMPING AND STUFF!" He yelled, banging on the door.

"What? Hold on, I'll be right there!" America called back, and RI heard the rustle of fabric.

America broke the door down a bit later and ran to the living room, which was the prime state hangout even back then.

* * *

"WHAT HAPPENED?"

Florida turned to look at America. "I don't know, I got really happy all of a sudden, and then I threw up!"

"You threw up?" America asked, concerned.

"Yeah, over there, I guess I should clean it up, but I'm fine now!" Florida said.

America followed Florida's pointing finger to the pool of white vomit.

"...It's not polite to point..." America said. "...I'll clean it up, go get some rest."

While America cleaned, he pieced together what just happened. He had just been...y'know... and then Florida got happy...and threw up white...

As soon as he had cleaned up the puke, America ran to a map.

One look confirmed his fears.

"FLORIDA!"

A pitter-patter of feet sounded as Florida ran into the room.

"Yes?"

"I think I figured out what part of my body you are. I think you're my... umm..." America struggled to say.

"Hand?" Florida offered.

"No, you're my..."

"Brain, because I'm the smartest!"

"No, you're-"

"Ear?"

"NO, YOU'RE MY PENIS!" America yelled loud enough for everyone in the house to hear.

"Sabía que tenía que haberme quedado con España! Esto nunca ocurrió con él! ¿Qué demonios? Soy tu pene? Eso es asqueroso!" Florida yelled, running out of the room to bathe away the horror. (I knew I should have stayed with Spain! This never happened to him! What the hell? I'm your penis? That's disgusting!)

* * *

This was easy to write, awkward to reread.


	46. China's Hair

Every single nation arrived early to the World Meeting.

They were also packing about 10 cameras each.

The reason?

It was time for China's BICENTENNIAL HAIRCUT.

As soon as the poor nation walked in, he was blinded by flashing cameras.

"STOP IT, ARU!"

Germany was especially surprised. Being one of the younger nations, he had never witnessed China's hair this short.

"SO IT DOES EXIST!" He yelled, and grabbed a camera from the nearby Italy and started taking pictures.

When everyone finally settled down from the initial excitement, Germany was still in slight disbelief that this was actually happening.

He was actually the only one that couldn't concentrate on the meeting, and kept taking pictures when(he thought) no one was looking.

* * *

Dear Cheyenne,

SUCK IT.

Your possibly soon to be murdered by you friend,  
Grace  
Mindprisoner


	47. Texas Pete

"Dad?"

America turned around. NC was standing behind him, looking like she was just in a fight. America wisely decided to not ask her if she was fighting. "What is it?"

"How come the rest of us have to walk around, do chores and stuff, and Texas gets a free ride and gets to go to world meetings and stuff?"

Texas heard this and switched to human. "I BET YOU YOU COULDN'T LAST A DAY ON THIS IDIOT'S FACE!" He yelled.

"Idiot!" America protested.

"WHAT DO YOU WANNA BET?" NC yelled back.

"IF YOU CAN'T GO 24 HOURS AS THIS GUY'S GLASSES, YOU NAME A HOT SAUCE AFTER ME!"

"AND IF I CAN, YOU HAVE TO FILL YOUR HAT WITH PAINT!"

"DEAL!"

"DEAL!"

And so they shook on it, with America as their witness, both 100% sure they would win.

As soon as NC morphed into glasses(which is an ability all the states have, by the way. Texas is glasses because he is the only state that can legaly leave or something.) Texas ran yelling through the house. "I'M FREE! I'M FREE BITCHES!"

* * *

About 2 hours later, NC was barely holding on. Only sheer willpower kept her going at this point. She was _not _naming a hot sauce after Texas. But sadly, America wouldn't stop singing "America the Beautiful". After repeat #37, NC decided that it was worth it to make that hot sauce.

"SHUT UP! YOU CAN'T SING! AND YOU'RE A NARCISSIST! SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH!" NC said, after turning back into human.

Stalking into the living room, she started yelling again. "TEXAS! YOU FUCKING WIN! I'LL MAKE THE SHITTY HOT SAUCE!"

"YES!"

And that is how Texas Pete was created. By the way, Texas' human name is Pete Jones.


	48. Sweden Loves Minecraft

Sweden loves Minecraft.

Duh. He made it.

If you've never played it, you should. It's legit. /

Anyways, Finland started to wonder why Sweden would sometimes disappear for days at a time and return only to declare that they were eating cake that night and get distraught when random buckets of milk, random sugar, a whole egg, and three random bundles of wheat didn't make a cake.

* * *

I would like to say that it smells horrible in my house right now for no reason. It smells like something's on fire, so I will make sure I don't die a horrible death by flame.

I'm back, I think I'm good.

* * *

Eventually, Finland got tired of this strange behavior and asked Sweden where he went those days.

Sweden responded by picking Finland up, dropping him in an(Ikea) chair, and starting up Minecraft.

Finland was lost to the world.

Sweden got both Finland and Sealand accounts, and set up a server for them to play on as a family.

"So, what do we do again?" Sealand asked. "And why is everything square?"

"Punch trees and make a house," Sweden said.

Sealand walked over to a tree and started clicking wildly. "Nothing's happening!"

"HOLD THE MOUSE!" Sweden yelled, which was horribly unlike him.

Sealand, a bit shaken by the raise in Sweden's voice, held down the mouse. "Hey! It works now! Thanks!"

And so they made a shit house. How shit, you may ask? Well, it didn't have a ceiling, and half of it was dirt.

"No one go outside until it's day again," Sweden commanded, whilst making tools for the noobs of the group.

Sealand went outside. He was confronted by a spider jockey. And a creeper.

"AHHH!" He yelled, running back inside and closing the door, but not before letting both mobs in.

"WHAT IS THAT?" Finland yelled, backing up as far as he could in the small house.

"CALM DOWN! Now what is i-HELIG GUD!" Sweden yelled, after turning around from crafting, and being blown up by the creeper. "SKITSTÖVEL!"

He turned from his gaze at the screen to stare murderously at Sealand.

"We are going to try that again, and nobody is going to step out of the house unless the sun is in the sky!" He said.

And so they survived multiple nights, and Sweden taught them how to play. They soon had a grand house of wood and stuff.

Then Sealand discovered some TNT in one of those pyramid things.

He placed it down in the middle of the house, and lit it on fire.

Sweden was in the second story of the house, depositing some resources in chests, he heard a boom sound.

Going to the stairs, he found the entire bottom floor destroyed and flooded with lava from the legit lava lamp in the wall they had. Key word there is 'had' as in no longer in their possession. Then he heard Sealand laughing his tiny ass off. He pulled the poor kid out of his chair, and deposited him in the absolute northern part of Sweden.(Fun Fact: Countries can teleport anywhere in their country at will)

"Hey! You can't just leave me here!" Sealand complained, already freezing.

Sweden, turned around, flipped him off and teleported back to his house and resumed playing minecraft.

Denmark, who was in the extreme north of Sweden for reasons to be explained in a later sentence, walked up to the micronation.

"You played Minecraft with Sweden, and blew up his house?" Denmark asked.

"How'd you know?"

"Why do you think I'm here?"

* * *

I apologize for any OOCness in this chapter, but this is how serious Minecraft players are about griefers, AKA people who fuck your shit up for shits and giggles.

It also smells like fire again. SHIT.

Also, any of you have any servers I can play on?


	49. Hungary Reacts to Episode 13

Ever since both America and Hungary found out that Hetalia exists, they go over to Japan's house every Friday, and watch to their heart's content.

A few weeks ago, Hungary got so pissed off, she left halfway through. But only after slapping Japan for drawing her like that.

France was having his Tranquil Time.

"YOU PERVERT!" Hungary yelled whilst punching France, and almost breaking his jaw.

"Ow! Qu'est-ce que l'enfer?" France said, dropping his wine glass and holding his face.

"I can't believe you! I will tear you LIMB FROM LIMB."

France started running for his life.

* * *

Meanwhile, at Japan's house...

"So how'd she react to the episode with the crotch cloth?" America asked, once the episode was over.

"Remember that earthquake about 2 years ago?"

"Yeah..."

"That was Hungary."

America reminded himself not to EVER make Hungary mad.


	50. 50th Chapter Extravaganza

So, it is a World Meeting.

Then, all the states show up.

Before anyone can question why they're there, Florida starts the song.

"THERE! RIGHT THERE!" She yells, pointing at France. She starts walking over to the nation. " Look at that tan and tinted skin! Look at that killer shape he's in! Look at that slightly stubbly chin!"

France, who was very complimented by all of this, was very surprised at the next line. "Oh, please, he's gay! Totally gay!" Virginia said, coming up behind Florida. This caused Britain to celebrate that he was right for the past 7 centuries.

Texas then morphed into human, much to America's distaste, and started singing. "I'm not about to celebrate!"

"Every trait could indicate the totally strait expatriate," Alabama continued.

"This guy's not gay, I say, not gay!" Texas sang, whilst putting the finishing touches on hog-tying America so he wouldn't have to be glasses.

Now, all the states got up on the table. "That is the elephant in the room!" They sang. "Well, is it relevant to assume that every man who wears perfume is automatically radically fey?"

"But look at his coiled and crispy locks!" Georgia countered, holding up a bit of France's hair.

"Look at his silk translucent socks!" Maine sang, pointing at France's feet.

"That's the eternal paradox!" Maryland sang.

"Look at what we're seeing! SD told them.

"What are we seeing?" ND asked.

"Is he gay?" SC said.

"Of course he's gay!" NC answered.

"Or European?" SC finished.

"Ohhhhh..." The female states said.

They then had to run out of the room and jump through windows to escape the wrath of most of the European nations.

The ones who remained were Italy, who was oblivious to the whole thing, Hungary and Belgium, who were laughing, Poland, who...is...Poland, Liechtenstien, who tried to ask Switzerland what gay meant before he ran out with a gun in hand, Sweden, who was like "So?", and Ukraine. Belarus left to make sure that Russia wasn't gay because he's part European. She would kill any man that came between their love.

Canada was busy helping America out of the rope Texas had tied him up with. "So that's what they've been doing all week!" He exclaimed once he got out.

America ran over to the window, which was now broken, and yelled out to the countries pursuing his kids. "DON'T KILL THEM!"

Most responded with a simple "FUCK YOU!" in America's direction.

America pulled out a set of contact lenses. Putting them on, he started humming the song his states were just singing.


	51. Area 51

Yes, this was planned to have chapter 51 be about Area 51.

* * *

Nevada and Tony are BFFs.

When Nevada's not gambling, he disappears for long periods of time in the desert. So does Tony.

What the do, no one knows.

Until now.

"YO, BRO! LET'S TOTALLY, LIKE, PLAY DRESS UP!" Nevada yelled, his hair in tiny pigtails and his face fully decked out in makeup.

"FUCKING BITCH!" Tony agreed, and brought out a Cinderella dress.

After they were fully made over, Nevada realized something.

"Bro, we have, like, a full tank of gas, it's like 4 hours to Cali's place, and there's no way she's gonna recognize us." Nevada had also stuffed the dress.

"Fucking bitch." They had put a cheap dress-up mask of... something to disguise Tony's alienness. And so they sped away.

* * *

"SUP MOTHERFUCKER!" Nevada yelled and tackled California to the ground, knocking the low-fat low-calorie low-carb banana, strawberry, and peach smoothie out of her hand.

"NOOOOOOOOO! I WILL, LIKE, KILL YOU ASSHOLE!" And California got up almost immediately, pulled a pickaxe out of nowhere, and started murdering Nevada.

"SHIT! RETREAT!" Nevada yelled to Tony, who was waiting to drive the getaway car.

"49ERS MOTHERFUCKERS!" Cali yelled, getting a hit in that ripped Nevada's dress. "LIKE, FACE THE WRATH OF THE GOLD RUSH!"

"DRIVE, DUDE, DRIVE!" And Tony floored it as soon as Nevada jumped into the car. California threw the pickaxe and it hit the trunk of the car, sticking there.

* * *

Once they had gotten a safe distance away, they changed course for Area 51.

4 hours later, it was dark, and after flashing an ID card to some sniper guards, they made it back to Area 51.

All the aliens there were giving eachother mani-pedis and stopped when they saw Nevada.

"Hggef biiiiiir mjed?"(Oh, snap, what happened?) One alien with blue skin and leathery wings asked.

"All right, get ready to hear the story of a lifetime," Nevada said, and started braiding the crazy long orange hair that completely covered a nearby alien.


	52. Doctor Who

The Doctor was one of the many magical creatures that only Britain could see.

However, America could see magical creatures based on what was popular.(May or may not be canon, not sure. I only know that America can't see mess when going to England like everybody else, so I'm just going to say this is right, and make a chapter about it.) And, as you probably know, Doctor Who is becoming quite popular in the US. Seriously, I stayed up all night to finish the first season in January. Then, a few days later, when I was about halfway through season 2, my free trial of Amazon Prime decided to run out. AFTER I PAUSED HALFWAY THROUGH AN EPISODE. Rant over. But it's ok, cuz I got Prime again. I'M ON SEASON 5 NOW!

America first met the Doctor whilst getting his morning coffee. Then, suddenly, TARDIS.

"WHAT," America said, and dropped his coffee.

Then the Doctor stepped out. (Pick your favorite one) "WHAT?!"

"HEY! YOU'RE THE DOCTOR! LET ME BE YOUR COMPANION!" America yelled, and grabbed on to the now very annoyed and confused Doctor.

"WHAT?!"

"Oh, I see. Still only takin' British chicks, huh?"


	53. Really Dumb State Laws: Why They Exist

All of these are real laws.

* * *

One time, NY went to visit Alabama. He brought his sewer gator with him. There was no where to put the alligator so NY chained it to a fire hydrant. It ate Alabama.

That is why it is illegal to chain your alligator to a fire hydrant in Alabama.

* * *

Australia visited America one time.

He stayed with Alaska. He also brought a kangaroo.

The kangaroo got loose, and somehow got into a barber shop.

There were no survivors.

Australia was living in fear of death by moose for months, and Alaska banned kangaroo from going into barber shops.

* * *

NY went to visit Arkansas. He brought his sewer gator with him AGAIN. This time, he kept it in a bathtub.

Arkansas just wanted a bath. He got death.

* * *

California didn't think it was possible.

But someone was molesting a butterfly.

She ran away as fast as she could and got a new law made.

* * *

Soon after NC made Mt Olive pickles, Connecticut doubted that they were actually pickles.

"Does it bounce?" He asked.

"It's a pickle! It's not supposed to bounce!"

"Well, it's not a pickle unless it bounces!"

* * *

It took Florida 5 days to get over seeing America in a strapless gown.

As soon as she recovered, she made him promise never to get drunk again, and made it illegal for guys to wear a strapless gown in public.

* * *

One time, France was doing someone in a car in Idaho. Idaho, who noticed suspicious activity while policing the roads, approached the car, and freaked out.

"Well, if you had given us a warning and time to stop, this never would have happened!" France argued.

Idaho nodded, and called the lawmakers.

* * *

Britain went to Illinois one time. He wasn't allowed to speak, because "It's illegal to speak English here, you gotta speak American!"

Britain went over to America, who was laughing at the spectacle, and slapped him as hard as he could.

* * *

Indiana was traumatized as a kid.

When he went to get his first haircut, he was being all frigidity.

The barber very calmly leaned down, and threatened to cut off his ears.

* * *

America and Ohio were walking down the street when they saw someone being robbed. America rushed to help, and started to arrest the robber, but Ohio stopped him.

"YOU CAN'T ARREST HIM! IT'S SUNDAY!"

* * *

NC is known for her singing ability. I mean, she's finaled in American Idol more than any other state. However, her methods of insuring her singing victory are controversial among the other states.

If you sing off key in North Carolina, have fun in jail!(AHEMShelbyAHEM)


	54. It's Not Delivery

Once upon a time, the Italy brothers were staying at America's house.

It was soon dinner time. (or supper, if you're from one of those places where dinner means lunch.)

"Dudes, I know this great pizza place that has the best pizza in the world," America told the unsuspecting Italians.

"VE~I like pizza!" Italy said. "LET'S GO!"

"Bro, we can call the restaurant, and they'll bring it here!" America said, barely holding back laughter. Grabbing a phone, he asked them what they wanted on their pizza.

Italy and Romano said about 10 pizza toppings in Italian in perfect unison, which America didn't understand.

"So... Pepperoni?"

Romano threw up his hands and made a very annoyed sound whilst pacing the room.

* * *

MEANWHILE IN THE KITCHEN

"Got it, yeah, Guido's gonna deliver."NY said to America, who was "ordering" the pizza. "Yeah, like 15 minutes or something. K, bye."

NY hung up the phone and turned around to be greeted by a very irked looking NJ. "Guido?!"

"Yeah, deal with it. YO CALI!" NY yelled.

"I'M, LIKE, RIGHT HERE!" California yelled back.

"Oh," NY said, and turned around. "Pepperoni."

"This is gonna be, like, so lolz!" California said, putting a pizza in the oven.

* * *

About 15 minutes later(i cant remember the time it takes for a frozen pizza to cook, and I am freaking comfortable, so like hell am I getting up to check.) the pizza was ready. NJ, who was in a green polo and black pants, donned a hat and mustache, and left through the back door.

Ringing the bell, he could imagine the looks on Italy and Romano's faces when they learned that they were eating frozen pizza.

* * *

Thank God for auto save. I almost just lost this whole chapter. I really need to save more.

* * *

When America opened the door, NJ whispered to him as he handed over the pizza. "We also got Rhode to record the whole thing. He's in the vents, so don't leave the room you guys are in."

"Got it, thanks. YO, GUYS THE PIZZA'S HERE!" America yelled and ran away, holding the pizza above his head triumphantly.

* * *

Italy and Romano each took a slice when America sat it down.

"Ve~ it's good!" Italy said, taking a bite.

"For an American pizza," Romano added, with a disgust emphasis on the word American.

"Guys, what if I told you that that pizza wasn't delivered?" America asked, in pain from holding back laughter.

"What is it then?" Italy asked.

"It's not delivery... IT'S DIGIORNIO!" America said, and burst in to laughs.

Confused Italy brothers were confused.

When America saw they didn't get it, he clarified. "It's a frozen pizza."

Italy started crying and tried to force himself to throw it up, but was unsuccessful and passed out, while Romano let loose every cuss in every language he knew, before calling the mafia and yelling at them in Italian. Then he passed out.


	55. Indiana Almost Dies A Horrible Death

Shout out to the awesome PsychoticQueenEpic for giving me info on Indiana!

You know you wanna give me info on your state...

* * *

"Hey, Ohio, hey, hey Ohio," Indiana said, poking Ohio, who was attempting to watch My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic reruns.

Ohio responded by turning up the volume.

"Hey, Ohio, guess what, Ohio, guess."

"I SWEAR ON NEIL ARMSTRONG, WHAT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS?"

"You're not first in flight." And then Indiana ran for his life.

* * *

"Hey, Charles, hey, hey Charles," Indiana said to SC, whose human name is Charles Jones.

"Don't call me Charles," SC responded whilst pouring a hole pound bag of sugar into tea.

"Hey, Charles, guess what, Charles, guess."

"I SWEAR ON THE FORMER CONFEDERACY, WHAT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN SWEET TEA?"

"You lost the Civil War."

"I WON'T LOSE THIS ONE!" SC yelled, and jumped Indiana, who was laughing too hard to do much more than block.

* * *

"Hey, Cali, hey, hey Cali," Indiana said to California, who was busy directing a horror movie. Just because America would have to watch it for the same reason parents go to the horrible kindergarten plays, and would probably wet himself. And California could add to her blackmail collection.

"I'm busy."

"Hey Cali, guess what, Cali, guess."

"I SWEAR ON MICHEAL BAY SEQUELS, WHAT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN MOVIE MAKING?"

Indiana pointed to her boobs. "Those are fake."

"SO IS YOUR BRAIN!" Cali said, and pulled out a random pickaxe.

Indiana decided that it would be bad for his health to annoy her more, and ran from the pure murderous rage that was California.

But seriously, California's boobs? As fake as her tan. BOOM.

* * *

Dear StarkidWolf, maiuayame, and other readers in general

The chapters with your info are coming, I PROMISE. I just wrote alot of these a really long time ago, and I want to get them out in the order in which I wrote them. The good news: I only wrote 100 chapters, so you won't have to wait that long. The bad news: I only wrote 100 chapters. But ladies and gentlemen and variations thereupon, Chapter 100 is the best thing since something you value a lot.

I PROMISE.

MindPrisoner

Grace


	56. Rollin' With It

Canada looked out his window one morning.

He saw America with a very serious look on his face slowly rolling by on a pink fan-powered tricycle.

America also had a boom cube playing "DEY SEE ME ROLLIN', DEY HATIN', CONTROLLIN', PATROLLIN' AN' RIDIN' DIRTY" over and over. Just that part.

Canada closed the curtains, grabbed his pancakes, and went to go hide in the closet.

A bit later, Canada went to go ask if America had been experimenting with LSD again.

* * *

I do not own a boom cube, nor do I know if it works. It's just a small music player that claims to be loud.

If someone can illustrate America looking very serious on a tiny, pink, fan-powered tricycle while Canada looks at him horrified through the window, I will love you more than I love my computer. And I will give you a shoutout and change the cover of this fanfic to said picture.


	57. Why Italy Tops

A list of all the reasons why Italy is the seme with Germany, not the uke, as some people seem to falsely believe.

He's older

He's a romance country

Going by national averages, he's got a bigger dick (I Googled it, trust me)(Don't know why this matters, just always seems to happen in most other yaoi works; the guy with the bigger junk tops.)

Germany's a kink

I said so

This seemed like a good chapter idea at 3 in the fucking morning

Italy crawls into bed with Germany whilst naked often

Both are virgins, so who do you think is going to top, really? (seriously, they've admitted it! Check the strips if you don't believe me!)

He needs to prove himself (proof)

Once again, I said so

He just does, ok?

There don't really need to be this many reasons (is this correct grammar?)

MOTHERFUCKER I SAID SO

And for Itacest, who tops changes based on the time of day and day of the week.


	58. Hungary is Now My BFF

Well, the proof I had in the last chapter didn't work... I tried to make a fancy link, and it worked in the documents... *sigh* Oh well... If you guys want the link send me a PM or review or something, cuz I feel lazy about copy + paste at the moment, even though that would be much easier to do.

Also, according to the weather channel, it's gonna be over 100 degrees Fahrenheit(38 Celsius for the rest of the world) today. Sounds halfway bearable, right? Nope! Freaking 90-ish% humidity. WELCOME TO SUMMER MOTHERFUCKERS. It would have started waaaaay earlier back in June if it hadn't been for a whole mess of rain that came through almost dayly for almost 3 weeks. But the good news is, the rain kept any jerks from having any fireworks at like 2 AM for Independence Day/Fourth of July. Canada Day was beautiful, btw. I celebrated by having ice cream that tastes like pancakes. I actually wasn't aware that it was in fact International USUK Angst Day or International USUK Makeup Sex Day until mom was like "We're going to your uncles'." And then at said uncle's, my arm almost got torn off. Tubing, children. Do NOT put your arm through the loop and hang on. It will result in more blood than a whale period. Do whales even have periods? According to Google, no. (Yes, I just Googled it...) But yeah, I was more aware of Canada Day than Fourth of July. Woah! You read my whole rant/story thing! *Brohoof*

AND LAST BUT BEST: A very awesome person by the username of unknown-for-life has submitted a picture for the Rollin' With It thing. I can't figure out how to open it... But, yeah! Check this girl out(I've been reading some of her stuff, it made me daww), and I think this beginning author's note thing is arguably longer than the chapter itself.

* * *

Yes, it was a World Meeting. Ah, World Meetings, it's been a while!

Before anything could really start, I teleport in.

"SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR DICK, BECAUSE IT'S ABOUT TO GET RIPPED THE FUCK OFF!" I said, wasting no time getting down to business.

All the male countries shifted nervously in their seats, but no one tried to cross me, not even Greece. Thanks again for taking that fucking cat, Greece.

"That's right, assholes," I said, walking over to Hungary. "It's HUNGARY!" And Hungary had a slightly shocked expression on her face.

"Her balls are bigger than yours," I said, very slowly leaning down to Austria, "and you're about to suck on them."

Austria had to leave the room. Cookie to whomever guesses why.

I started to move over to Finland. I put a hand on his shoulder, and he flinched and made a sound of scareditude. "You think you aren't gay?"

"N-no," Finland said, trembling in fear. You think he would be mad. I mean seriously, last time I was here, I irked him right after accusing him of having Stockholm Syndrome.

"Well, in that case, TOO FUCKING BAD!" And Finland fell out of his chair. I grabbed Sweden, who was watching with a concerned look on his face a distance away. "Because Hungary is going to find a way to get this hot dude's DICK up your ASS and there's not a GODDAMNED THING you can do about it!" I let Sweden go, and he tried to comfort the traumatized Finland. With a hug. Not the best choice of comfort.

Meanwhile, Hungary had jumped out of her chair and was egging me on. "YEAH I WILL!"

I turned to Serbia. "You wanna try fighting her?"

He opened his mouth to reply, but I cut him off. I grabbed him by the front of his

* * *

Thank Christ for autosave, once again.

* * *

shirt, and started yelling at him. "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? HAVE YOU HEARD OF THE MOTHERFUCKING HUNS? OH MY GOD!" I said, dropping Serbia on the ground and throwing up my hands in frustration.

"ATTILA MY MAIN MAN!" Hungary yelled.

I knelt down to Serbia, where he was looking absolutely terrified. "She'll impale you on a spike and laugh about it." Serbia proceeded to faint. He should be happy she never did impale him during WWI.

"You think she gives a shit!" I said, giving Hungary a high-5.

"YES!" She yelled, obviously happy at the terror I caused.


	59. The Carolina Shag

A little tidbit of info that's important to know for this chapter, shag in the UK is slang for sex, Shag in America is a dance that(Fun Fact) I used to know how to do, but then I forgot how.

And I got the picture working. UNKNOWN-FOR-LIFE, YOU ARE AWESOME. WOOOOOOO!

* * *

"Alright, Roanoke, watch closely. This is how you Shag."

Britain heard a voice as he walked by a closed door in America's house. His sense of parenthood kicked in when he heard the name of his former colony. Britain felt like he was going to regret this decision, but he opened the door. "DON'T TEACH HIM HOW TO SHAG! HE'S TOO YOUNG!"

He was greeted by NC and SC standing closely and Roanoke intensely watching at a distance.

"...The heck, man?" SC said.

"Uh-oh," NC said.

"YOU JERK YOU LEFT ME WITHOUT EVEN ASKING QUESTIONS I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!" Roanoke yelled, and ran over to hit Britain repeatedly.

And thus, the Carolinas started laughing.

Britain, choosing to ignore the child wailing on his leg, tried to reason with the twins. "It's inappropriate to teach him, and you shouldn't know how to yourself!" he said, forgetting the graphic sex-ed in his country.

"Dude, we invented it!" NC said, much to the horror of Britain.

"Yeah, there's a reason it's called the Carolina Shag," SC added.

"Does America know that you two shag together?" Britain, who still thought that they were having incestual sex, asked.

"Yeah. Hey, North, remember when we taught him how?" SC asked.

"God, don't remind me! That was horrible! You're so lucky you didn't have to Shag with him!" NC responded, looking upset at the memory.

"Well, I wasn't gunna be the girl!"

"Teaching the moves is the easy part!"

"Guys! England passed out!" Roanoke yelled.

NC and SC looked up from their bickering.

"We should probably get America," NC said with a sigh.

"Yeah, I guess," SC agreed, and called America on his phone.

* * *

"So, he just passed out? Nobody hit him on the head or anything?" America asked.

"Well, Roanoke was hittin' his leg, but I don't think that was the problem," NC said.

"Wait, I think he's wakin' up!" SC said. And Britain was indeed waking up.

And immediately, Britain began strangling America. "YOU BLOODY GIT SHAGGING WITH YOUR OWN DAUGHTER WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU etc. etc."

"DUDE BRO CALM DOWN WHAT ARE YOU DOING etc. etc." The Carolinas yelled as the attempted to pull the two apart. Key word is attempted. As in unsuccessful.


	60. The Invasion of Sealand

This really happened, according to Wikipedia, so let's just pretend this happened.

I also almost forgot my own birthday. I was just going about my business, then I got a text that said happy birthday, and I was like "What?" then I checked the date and it turns out that it's my birthday. It takes a really special kind of dumb to forget that.

* * *

In 1977, a German businessman, along with other Germans and Dutch, invaded Sealand and took Prince Roy's son, Michael, hostage. Prince Roy and others then launched a counterattack in the early hours of the morning to recapture the fort. He held the German and Dutch men as prisoners of war. Because one had accepted a Sealand Passport, he was held and convicted of treason while the rest were released.

* * *

_Ring, Ring._

Germany was worried who would be calling. There was a bad history with Germany and unexpected calls. But, it could be important, so he picked up the phone anyways.

"Hel-" Germany started.

"HELP ME I'VE BEEN CAPTURED!"

Germany pulled the phone away from his ear. "Captured? Where are you?"

"I'M IN SEALAND AND THEY CAPTURED ME!"

Germany hung up the phone and started banging his head against his desk. He didn't want to have to deal with this, but he didn't want his reputation to be sullied by..._him._

So he got on the first plane to London.

* * *

"So, what are you here to discuss today, Germany?"

"Well... It appears some of my citizens attempted to..." Germany trailed off, too embarrassed to continue.

"Attempted to what?" Britain asked.

"Take over Sealand," Germany mumbled.

And Britain was unable to breathe, for he was laughing too hard. "THEY COULDN'T EVEN TAKE OVER _SEALAND!_ OH, HOW YOU GERMANS HAVE CHANGED!" And he continued to ROTFLMAO.

Britain suddenly found himself unable to breathe for a different reason. Germany was choking him. "Just get them back _now_or else!" He said through clenched teeth.

"Or else... What?" Britain gasped.

"We wouldn't want a repeat of the London Blitz, would we?"

"I...actually can't...help you!"

Germany let go of Britain's neck. "What?"

After taking a few seconds to regain his oxygen, Britain started explaining. "He's in international waters! Not my problem!"

Germany walked towards the door to go to Sealand. "We tell no one about this."

* * *

"Sealand, can he come back to Germany with me?" Germany asked.

"Yeah, sure!" Sealand said. "THIS MEANS YOU RECOGNIZE ME AND HAD DIPLOMATIC RELATIONS WITH ME!"

Germany took the now former captive home, and thought about the day.

He had diplomatic relations with a _micronation._

That was the day Germany lost faith in his people, and why he now goes over once every other week to help repair leaks in Sealand. NO ONE MUST KNOW.


	61. Italy Gets Beat Up

Poland is the 69th biggest country in the world. Let's all digest that for a second.

* * *

And so I teleported into the World Meeting.

"First of all, no, I will NOT take the cat back, Finland, suck it up and deal with it, and everyone else that I'm too lazy to remember that's also pissed at me, get over it," I said. I turned to Hungary, whom I planned this all out with. "You got the thing?"

"Yes," She said, barely containing her laughter.

"LET'S DO THIS!" I yelled. And every country but Hungary groaned in expectation for what was to come or looked horrified that they were the next victim of my awesome embarrassment-stuff-thing. And so I walked over to Italy.

"Who the fuck do you think this is?" I said, pointing to Italy. Before anyone could even attempt to answer, I answered for them. " This is mother fucking NORTH ITALY, and he will FUCK YOUR SHIT _UP_ WITH HIS WHITE FLAG UNTIL YOU CRY FOR YOUR MAMA!"

And America jumped up. "I BELIEVE I THOROUGHLY KICKED HIS ASS IN WORLD WAR TWO!"

And this caused a flurry of disagreement through countries, mostly the other Allies.

"You shut the fuck up he's had sex with your mama thrice, bitch!" I yelled at America.

Lucky for me, he was too busy arguing with Britain, France and Russia over who did the most during WW2. "Look at his eyes," I said, grabbing Italy's face. " Goddamn, they're ALWAYS CLOSED! He fucking kicked Turkey's ass with his eyes CLOSED when he was a FUCKING KID."

Hungary threw the old dress Italy used to wear to me, and I caught it. Italy was quick to comment.

"Hey! I remember that!" He said.

"Look at this dress," I said. However, when the Allies were still over there bickering about freaking whatever, I felt the need to have EVERYONE in the room hear me. "LOOK AT IT!" I yelled, and they all looked over. "He fucking wore dresses as a kid that's how fucking hardcore he is!"

I turned around the room so that no one would know who I was looking at. "He ain't a pussy, he eats pussy stuffed with pasta five times a Goddamn day, man! He's fucked you're mom, your sister, and your girlfriend!" I said, counting off on my fingers.

And so I walked over to Germany. As I approached, he looked more and more horrified for what was to come. "Like this macho German over here?" I asked the room.

"Yes~" Italy singsonged, causing Germany to blush and Romano to curse under his breath.

"WELL HE'S FUCKING HIM TOO!" And Germany passed out. "AND HE'S SUCKING HIS DICK EVERY NIGHT LIKE IT'S SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS!" Italy was also in the process of being murdered by Romano, however, no body came to his aid for fear of angering me or something.

And I shift my walk to America. "Hey, America, you think your little war for independence was just the fucking best thing ever right?" I asked him.

"Well..." America responded, conscious of Britain's gaze on him from behind.

"THIS BITCH DIDN'T FIGHT ONE WAR FOR INDEPENDENCE, BUT THREE!" I yelled.

"Whoa! Those musta been some serious taxes!" America said.

"You can't even IMAGINE what this guy's been through!" I said, spreading my arms wide.

I turned to Britain. "You think you're food's the shit?"

"Well, yes," He said.

"Well it's not. AMERICA! You think your Harlem Renaissance was the shit?"

"YEAH IT WAS!"

"Fuck that, this bitch started the fucking REAL RENAISSANCE before you were even discovered!" I said. I do believe that America's ego was lowered on this day.

I noticed pretty much every country looking at Romano beating up Italy. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS DOING? DON'T EVEN LOOK AT HIM WITH YOUR BITCH-ASS FACE!" And I put a concerned, sad look on mah face. "Give the fucking boot it's respect, man."


	62. On Stranger Tides

So, yeah. I watched this movie for the first time the other night. Whilst watching it, and after a yell of "THAT'S CHEATING!" from me, I had this idea.

Ladies, gentlemen, and variations thereupon, (Catch the reference and you get a virtual cookie) this may contain the smallest not really plot related spoilers ever for a movie that's two years old.

* * *

So once upon a time, America and the states were watching Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.

NC left about an hour in.

"Where you goin'?" America asked.

"I'M GONNA GO LOOK FOR THE FLAMETHROWER!" NC yelled back.

"Ya know it's just a movie, right?" SC asked her.

"When Queen Anne's Revenge sails again, and you burn, that's what I'll tell you," NC said, leaning into SC. "_It's just a movie._"

SC looked horrified and NC stomped out to go diving for a flamethrower.

10 minutes later, she ran past the whatever room in a diving suit. NC doubled back, and stuck her head in the door. "And Blackbeard's ears should be smoking!" She yelled, and ran off again.

Meanwhile, California was giggling.

"You did this just to get at her, didn't you?" SC asked.

"Yeah," California replied, and burst into laughter.

At the end of the movie, like the credits, guess who got a call? South Carolina.

"_GUESS WHAT I FOUND?!_" NC yelled from the other end.

"Your brain?" SC asked.

"_A FLAMETHROWER LOOKIN' THING!_"

As was expected, SC was less than excited about this.

* * *

~June 21, 2013~

NC was excited. She was finally going to get the flamethrower out of the wreck.

And so the flamethrower was pulled up.

It was just a cannon.

* * *

Now, let me tell you a bit about the Queen Anne's Revenge. It wasn't confirmed as the QAR(That's what I'm gonna call it from now on cuz it's tiring to type out) until a few months after the theater release of On Stranger Tides. So, the official non-official story is that the Jones house watched it on DVD or On demand or something of the like.


	63. Texas, Texas, and More Texas

Because I can, I'm going to make a whole bunch of short stories on Texas' big ego.

* * *

Texas got really sad once Alaska joined the Union. Why?

Texas wasn't the biggest state anymore.

It ended up in more than one fight and more than one broken spine. For Texas.

* * *

On those rare occasions when America gets all stubborn and is all like "I CAN SEE FINE DAMMIT" and then tries to see without glasses and inevitably ends up falling down stairs or something, Texas gets a day off.

It never ends well for the other states, especially Georgia and NC.

They usually return to their rooms at night to discover they have been flooded with Dr. Pepper.

* * *

Texas does not get along very well with New Mexico, due to the fact that she looks almost exactly like Mexico, and whenever he's near her on a "day off" or something, he has to go all Alamo, thinking that she is, in fact, Mexico.

The most recent time this happened, it almost ended in death for our Lone Star.

"REMEMBER THE ALAMO!"

"Hi there, Texas! You see this knife? We wouldn't want it to _accidentally_ cause blood to stain this nice floor, would we?"


	64. Florida's Revenge

So, let's all give shout outs to ThirdEyeTeller413 and her OC Bolivia.  
This uses minor themes from her story Adjusting to America!

Don't go and try to find it on Fanfiction, it's not here. It's on Quotev. Just in case you want to go read it.

Let's also give shout outs to the brain-child we had together crazy late last night.

* * *

Once upon the time, in the past

Bolivia was chilling on her favorite rock. It was a nice rock, and in one of those EPIC places that manages to be both sunny and shady at the same time. She was having a nice, calming afternoon quietly singing to herself.

But, as we all know, nice, calming afternoons are generally done when America shows up. "HEY BOLIVIA!"

Bolivia, who may or may not have been on her period as well, grabbed her favorite axe from where she was polishing it earlier. She was determined not to let America have her resources anymore. "Go away."

"I was wondering, can I have some oil?" America asked, breathing slightly heavy from running to her. "It'd be grea-"

And Bolivia prevented words from being spoken from America by hitting him in between the legs with the handle of her axe. HARD. "Stop asking for my stuff unless you want that to happen again. With the SHARP SIDE!"

* * *

NOW, SOON AFTER BOLIVIA MOVED IN WITH AMERICA AND CANADA!

Florida remembered her. She remembered all who caused her pain. And she expected to get revenge.

Also, America kicked every state out of the house, and since no state wanted a repeat of The Great House Raid of 2013, everyone left promptly. Except Florida.

Florida began stalking Bolivia to learn her habits, causing Bolivia to freak out at times.

And then, one day, Florida struck.

Her plan was to wait on the roof for Bolivia to exit the door, then pour water, flour, some tar NC left behind, and feathers on Bolivia as revenge. Florida takes revenge seriously.

So she waited on the roof. And waited. And waited until the bell that she hooked up to ring when the door was opened actually rang. Florida sprang into action, spilling the water, flower, tar, and feathers and looked down, laughing, to see an enraged America. "Shit."

Bolivia looked up from her reading when she heard a very loud crash and even louder yelling, screaming and cussing. Not very wisely, she followed the noise to the source, a wet, tarred, feathered, sticky America beating the mess out of a girl.

Canada, who also was curious about the noise, arrived at roughly the same time. "America, I don't think this is legal," he said.

"YEAH, WELL I'M THE UNITED FUCKING STATES OF AMERICA, AND I CAN SAY WHAT'S LEGAL AND WHAT'S NOT!" America responded, putting Florida into a headlock.

"I THOUGHT THIS WAS A DEMOCRACY!" Florida argued, struggling against the hold.

Canada muttered about moving back to his own house, and Bolivia watched in wonder that the two could fight so efficiently whilst so messy.


	65. 50 State Stereotypes in 1212 Words

Yeah, you might want to watch 50 State Stereotypes in 2 minutes if you want to know which state is which. But, if you're ultra lazy like me(too lazy to put the state names in), they go in alphabetical order.

* * *

One day, America was derping on Youtube. In the suggested video thingy, he saw a video that promised to be entertaining. "Texas, tell no one about this, and I will get you so many hats and so much water!"

Texas told no one of what was to come.

"ALRIGHT, GUYS, IT'S THE FIRST OFFICIAL MOVIE NIGHT!" America yelled. He had set up a projector to project(duh) the video on a wall in the living room, where all the states and DC were crowded around the wall, and had got over the pushing to see stage. America looked down from the elevated platform the projector was on to see that they formed the shape of, well, him! Everyone was crowded together, except for Alaska and Hawaii, who had wisely sat way on the edges of the room. Well, Texas was missing too. Guess where he was. America pressed the button and started the "movie."

The music started, and was soon overshadowed by loud screams of protest at the title. Some even got up to leave, but America had locked the doors and re-enforced the windows.

"Our state bird is the NASCAR."

"YOU CAN DO THAT?" Alabama freaked out and got all excited.

"I can see seasonal depression disorder from here."

Alaska got out his phone and called Canada to see if he would have more luck being bought with him than with Russia.

"Keeping Indians in and Mexicans out."

Mexico decided it would be a great time to leave before anyone noticed him.

"Great scenery, brilliant people!"

All the states except Arkansas started laughing.

"Sorry, we've got Wal-Mart..."

"Gay Mexican boobjob computer hippies who really wanna direct."

"AND THEY DO A DAMN GOOD JOB!" California yelled, and nobody was brave enough to argue.

"SNOW!"

"YEAH!" Colorado yelled.

"Cocaine, I mean, but we're also known for skiing."

"SCREW THIS!"

"Great schools, 'cause there's nothing else to do."

Everyone turned to look at Connecticut, who was in the middle of trying to steal sweet tea from the south. She quickly abandoned her project.

"Come, we've got low incorporation fees!"

"WOOO!"

"No, seriously, please come."

And Delaware's celebration was over.

"The further north you go, the further south it gets."

"Wait, what?" Florida sat there trying to figure out what was just said.

"ATLANTA!"

"PREACH IT!"

"We're kinda ashamed of the rest of it, though."

"WELL, UH..."

"If you lived here, you'd be lazy too."

Hawaii was too busy napping somehow through all the noise to react.

"Potatoes and Napoleon Dynamite," the video started.

"God, I'm cool!" Idaho finished.

"Look! A non corrupt politician for once! So far."

"SUCK IT, DC!"

Florida made a sound of great happiness as she finally got her stereotype.

"You have to drive through us to get somewhere better."

Indiana stopped laughing at other states.

"56,000 square miles of dull.

Iowa joined Indiana in the ranks of non-laughter.

"White-breds making wheat bread."

"THAT'S RACIST!" all the states(except Hawaii and Texas) said in unison.

"Farming from the future, textbooks from 1925."

"Kentucky, wanna borrow my school systems?" Connecticut asked.

"Shut your face before you wake up with it full of fried chicken." Connecticut decided to shut her face.

"Thanks BP, as if we didn't have enough problems!"

Louisiana shuddered, remembering the long days and nights coughing up oil chunks. She made a mental note to destroy BP brick by brick.

"Wicked lota moose, eh?"

* * *

Canada looked up from his DS. Someone had just used "eh" in a stereotypical manor. Canada grabbed his phone. "James, it's go time." (Oh yeah, James is 2p Canada)

* * *

"Have Jeeves bring the lobster boat around."

"JEEVES IS HERE?"

"Our chief export is obnoxious Pats fans."

"Tell me about it," NY said, earning him a death glare from Massachusetts.

"Cereal makers, serial killers."

Michigan pulled out a knife. "I DARE anyone to say ANYTHING." Everyone was silent.

"Too nice not to elect douchy governors."

"Too nice not to want to kill you," Minnesota said to the video, grabbing Michigan's knife.

"I'm gonna need a bigger Bible belt."

And that caused most of the Bible belt states to argue over who was Bible belt capital.

"WE'RE #1!"

"YEAH I AM!"

"In meth."

And Missouri had another thing to be depressed about.

"Speed limits don't matter when you're drunk."

I really couldn't come up with a funny response to this one. Drunk driving is not cool. And I just couldn't.

"Footballs, drawls, and overalls."

Nebraska realized he wasn't even wearing overalls.

"No laws, no problem!"

"THANK YOU, SIR."

"Except for all the murders."

Nevada gave a sigh of defeat.

"Half hippie, half French, all upper class."

And New Hampshire started celebrating in French, and wouldn't shut up until Louisiana yelled at her, similarly in French. NH sat down fearing for her life.

"Guidos, turnpikes, leeching off NY and Philly."

"THE TRUTH HAS BEEN REVEALED!" NY and Philadelphia said in unison, while NJ tried to gain the ability to be invisible.

"Like regular Mexico, but with more UFO's."

"I BELIEVE THOSE ARE ACTUALLY IN NEVADA!" Nevada yelled.

"World's 14th biggest city, 1st biggest ego."

"MY STEREOTYPE IS THE BEST IN THE WORLD, BOW DOWN TO ME!" NY yelled.

"First in flight,"

"SUCK IT OHIO!"

"And in lung cancer."

NC tried to say something, but broke down in coughing fit.

"Somehow even worse than South Dakota."

And just like that, ND made it her mission to kill SD.

"People care about us at election time!

Ohio said something, but no one really cared.

"10 days tornado free!"

"IT'S A NEW RECORD!"

"Dreadlocks on white people."

That statement renewed the argument to get Oregon to cut his dreadlocks off.

"Even our Amish will fight you."

Pennsylvania cocked a random shotgun. "Anyone want to agree with that?"

Everyone quickly said that Pennsylvania was the most peaceful state ever.

"No, seriously, we're a state!"

"Who's Rhode Island?" One of the more ignorant states asked.

"ME!"

"Still accepting Confederate dollars."

"They act like that's a bad thing," SC scoffed.

"At least we're not North Dakota."

ND just got a little more motivation on her mission to kill her brother.

"Where white people music comes from!"

"DON'T ACT LIKE YOU DON'T LOVE IT!"

"It's not acting." Someone replied.

"Everything is bigger, even our morons."

Texas only held his glasses-form for the promise of water and hats.

"Multiple homely wives."

"LET'S HEAR IT FOR POLYGAMY! Why isn't anyone else cheering?"

"Gay marriages on maple syrup farms!"

"CIVIL RIGHTS! CIVIL RIGHTS!"

"From center of civilization to Hicksville in 20 minutes flat."

"Exact time is 22 minutes and 14 seconds."

"Richer hippies than Oregon."

"THIS IS HOW WE BEAT THE LOSERS!"

"The inbred love-child of Virginia and DC."

West Virginia turned around and faced what he previously thought was his sister and brother with a horrified face. "Well, I was leaving for the Confederacy, and DC couldn't go, so on our last goodbye, we-" Virginia got out before WV clamped a hand over her mouth and told her to never speak of it.

"It's too cold to be sober."

"I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT, WISCONSIN!" Alaska yelled.

"We don't have any gay cowboys, alright? Ok, maybe a few gay cowboys."

"Disclaimer, I am not claiming to be a cowboy in anyway," Wyoming said once all the states started looking towards him.

Movie night was deemed a complete success.


	66. Some Funny Things Happen In Class

This is kinda a break chapter for me. But, these all really happened. Keep in mind that these are things that kids in one of the top classes in the school said. So that stereotype that Americans are stupid? Starting to believe it.

* * *

The Question: What countries other than America have used nuclear weaponry?

The answers: Russia, Afganistan, Pakistan, other Middle-Eastern countries, and my personal favorite, Japan wanted revenge, so they dropped one on NYC, and that was 9/11. I was the only one who answered to get the question right. *sigh*

* * *

Teacher: And on August 14, 1945, Japan surrendered, and so August 14th is called Victory in Japan day, or V-J day.

Other girl in class: *Laughs with crazy contagious laughter*

Whole class: *Laughs*

Teacher: Why is everybody laughing?

Other girl: 'Cause V-J sounds like something else.

Me: *Looks at Hetalia friends just as class is calming down*

Hetalia Friends and I: *We can't stop laughing*

* * *

The Question: What years was the Revolutionary War fought in?

Idiot: 1861-1865!

Teacher: That's the Civil War.

Idiot: Well, they were both fought against the British!

Class: *facepalm*

* * *

So we watched this movie in class called Across the Universe. It was actually pretty good. So these next few may contain minor spoilers for a musical romantic drama.

* * *

Kid #1: What's this movie about?

Teacher: The Vietnam War.

Kid #2: That's the one in Korea, right?

Teacher:(sarcastically) No, the Vietnam War is another name for WW1.

Kid #2: Oh, ok.

* * *

There's this one part where this guy get's drafted for the army, and they do this really cool dance. /watch?v=SSnw1JaL2uA

Guy: So is this what the army does in their spare time; choreograph dances?

Me: (saracastic)Dude, you didn't know that?

Guy: Of course I did, shut up!

I still don't know if he was being sarcastic or not.

* * *

So when I was in 5th grade, I had a very..._special _teacher.

Teacher: Who knows what the state abbreviation for Washington, D.C. is?

Me: Washington, D.C. isn't a state, it's a district, as in District of Columbia...

Teacher: Nope! It is a state! Anyone else?

Class: *Staring at her in disbelief that anyone can be so ignorant*


	67. Canadian Provinces and Territories

Canada has provinces and territories that have been personified. He just doesn't know it yet.

Every now and then, a kid will run through Canada's house and after a minor freak out, Canada will go and call America.

"Bro, listen, I've got all the border states _right here._ Also, I'm pretty sure no one would break the law." America said. "CALIFORNIA DON'T KILL NEVADA!"

And then the phone hung up.(or what ever, the call ended by America's hand)

Canada was now certain that his house was haunted.

Suddenly, a 5 year old was tugging on his shirt sleeve. "_Daaaaaadd_, I want some _foooooooood_!"

"who are you?" Canada asked, gently removing the hand from his sleeve.

"I'm your _soooooon_, now get me some _foooood!_"

"Nuna! Stop giving daddy a hard time!" And a 10 year old had appeared out of nowhere.

"could someone explain to me what's going on?" But poor Canada was alone again; the kids had vanished into thin air.

Canada set out to find Mr. Kima... Mr. Korra... uhhh... Canada set out to find his pet polar bear.

"hey, Mr. Kadahero, who were those strange kids?"

"Who are you?"

"I'm Canadia," Canada sighed.

* * *

Nunavut and Ontario are based on these kids I met at the beach one time, and fun fact: they were Canadians. I do believe that they said they were from Quebec, if memory serves, and it was really funny to me, cause they would just subconsciously slip into French sometimes and not even realize it.(Or, now that I think about it, they did it just to mess with me!)

I met these other Canadians at the same beach a different year, and they were the NICEST PEOPLE EVER. Canadians seem to really like NC's beaches.

Also, I am proud to say that my sister now randomly turns to me and says "You're awesomer than Prussia." I love my sis.


	68. Denmark's Hat

So Sweden's still irked about losing Eurofest to Denmark.

As many of you know, Denmark has an awesome hat.

Denmark's hat is actually made out of tiny legos.

Denmark has many hats that he leaves in places for people to step on.

Denmark can be a jerk sometimes.

However, this plan backfired once Sweden found the Hat Room, where Denmark stored all of his lego hats for future spreading on floors.

Sweden glued a thumbtack in between the prongs of an electric plug, and placed it upright on the lego hats. The mutant-pain hats were spread all over Denmark's house, and his room in the Nordic house.

When poor Denmark woke up, he stared a bit at his ceiling, which he had painted to look like his flag._ Damn,_ Denmark thought,_ that's an awesome flag. _His tummy grumbled, signaling that it was time to get some noms, and Denmark swung his feet out of bed and stood up. And then he fell to the floor in pain.

And then he rolled around in more pain, causing even more pain, causing even more pain, and you get the idea.

And that is why Denmark only wears hats made of hat material.

* * *

Aww... DENMARK NO! I'm a horrible person...

Basically, I wanted to write something with either Sweden or Romano today, so I guess this kinda counts...

Also, my friends and I are giving alot of people country names(I'm Romano, MAFIA BITCHES!) and we said this one guy in our class is Estonia because they look exactly alike. One day he finally asked why we call him Estonia all the time, and we told him about Hetalia and how he looked like Estonia, and so he pulled out his phone and googled a picture of Estonia, and said it was like looking in a mirror that animeified you. His face was priceless. I wish I had a camera.


	69. 69

So, remember when like all the southern states were all like "Oh, hell no, sugar, Lincoln ain't gonna be my president MMM GURL!" in like 1860-1861? Well, duh you don't, you weren't born!

Well, Florida left the union, and America went _slightly_ crazy. _SLIGHTLY._

"DAD WE NEED THAT MONEY TO FIGHT THE SOUTH!" DC said, pulling America away from a woman in a dress that was quite revealing for the time period.

"WE HAVE TIME THE ENTIRE SOUTH HASN'T JOINED YET! IT'S JUST SOUTH CAROLINA, MISSISSIPPI, AND FLORIDA!"

The prostitute was quite confused.

And New York came running up. "WE LOST ALABAMA!"

And in DC's subsequent "WHAT?!", America grabbed the prostitute bridal style and ran away.

* * *

Florida one day discovered online the land area of England. It was smaller than her land area.

After laughing for a bit, she hopped on the first plane to London. NC and SC went with her for a reason that will be explained in the next story.

"HEY ENGLAND!" Florida yelled. She and the Carolinas managed to sneak into Britain's house.

And Britain turned around, slightly annoyed at being called England. "Hello, Florida. I would prefer it if you would call me Britain next time. Why did you break into my house?"

Britain cringed slightly at seeing it was Florida. HE KNEW WHAT SHE WAS. Memories of giving America his monthly bath came flooding back to him.

"No, to me you'll always be England, 'cause I'M BIGGER THAN ENGLAND!"

And NC and SC, who were quietly waiting outside for their chance to pounce on Britain and freak him out more burst into laughter as Britain's face gained the same shocked expression it had when France tried to marry him.

* * *

England excused himself to make therapy tea after the conclusion of our last story. Florida left, and alerted the twins it was go-time.

After one last high-5, NC and SC tried to find the kitchen and failed, and opened a random door and found Britain talking to himself, oblivious to their entrance.

"Mint, you think I should start a project to make the Victoria tower taller?...That was racist! I don't care if it's true! I am never taking you to Asia again!" He said, talking to air.(OR SO IT SEEMED TO THE CAROLINAS)

But they ignored that and went over to corner Britian Hikaru&Kaoru style.

You see, they had learned that to shag in the UK means to have sex. They decided to exploit it 4DALOLZ.

"Hey, Britain, North and I were talkin', and we thought it'd be a good idea to teach you how to do the Carolina Shag!" SC said.

"...I belive I already know how to shag, thank you," Britain very nervously replied.

"Not the _Carolina_ Shag," NC said, with a seductive hint in her voice.

And Scotland came walking through the kitchen. SC ran over to him and whispered what they were doing in his ear. "So my sister and I are some of America's kids, and we made this dance called the Shag, but Britain doesn't know it yet, he still thinks we're talking about sex, so help us with this PLEASE."

But to poor Britain, still trapped under the hold of NC, who was using her super strength that all states had to her advantage, it looked like Scotland was going to help them rape him. "SCOTLAND HELP ME NOW!"

"Aww... Look at my little brother struggle... But where's the fun in helping you free? Maybe I should get a camera and use this as blackmail so I can be Britain, and you'll just be poor, little, weak England again," Scotland taunted.

"Hey, I like that idea about the camera, what about you, bro?" NC said, equally splitting her strength into not bursting into laughter and keeping Britain pinned to his chair.

"As long as I get the pictures!" SC replied, and Britain passed out.


	70. The Skunk

Romano just wanted to make sure his tomatoes were healthy.

However, he saw one of Greece's cats had snuck into his tomato fields. Romano picked up the cat, and got ready to throw it all the way to Greece, when he realized it wasn't a cat at all.

Romano threw it as far as he could, but the skunk had already sprayed him from head to toe.

Choking on the smell, he ran to the bathroom and attempted to shower the smell off. It didn't work. He nearly scrubbed his skin off. It didn't work.

Cussing up a storm, Romano turned to the internet to help with his skunk problem.

On his way to his room, he passed Italy, who was trying to find him. "Romano! It's time for Hug Therapy!"

"Wait, no!" But Italy was used to Romano's protests, and hugged him anyways. Coughing, Italy pulled away. "I was sprayed by a skunk! And now it's on you, you idiot!"

"Then let's just take a shower~" Italy suggested.

"I just tried that! It didn't work! Stay here, I'm going to go find out how to get rid of this smell!" And Romano stalked off to his computer.

* * *

Romano was very pissed at the solution to skunk spray. He went to go break the bad news to Italy, and found that he was not in the spot where he left him. "VENEZIANO!"

When his brother didn't answer, Romano stalked around looking for him. He found Italy on about 10 phones at once. "Yes, I know, we're trying! Hold on!" Then he turned in an attempt to reach another phone and saw Romano standing in the doorway. "Help me."

Romano walked over and hung up the phones one by one. "What's going on?"

"The smell's not just affecting us, it's affecting the whole country! And it's spreading! And people are complaining, and I'm scared that Switzerland is going to come shoot us!" Italy said, thoroughly freaking out.

"Then we better get this over with," Romano said, "We have to take baths in tomatoes."

"But that's wasting them!"

"I KNOW! Let's just... do it so we don't die, OK?"

* * *

Both the brothers got over wasting their precious tomatoes after they realized that they would be surrounded by them, and would smell like tomatoes for a bit.

Switzerland did not come and shoot the Italies, nor did anyone else. YAY

By the way, that bath they took? They took it together. *ITACEST*


	71. Jamestown

Virginia was cleaning out her house one day when she found a small boy of about 5 huddled in a closet.

She instantly assumed he was one of the actors from the Historical Jamestown thing, what with her house being kinda close to Jamestown and Busch Gardens and all that junk, and his clothes being very 17th century ish. "How did you get in here?"

"You don't remember me?" The boy asked, tears forming in his eyes. Virginia looked closer at the boy to see if she knew him, or talked to him, or anything in her life. And then it hit her.

"Jamie?" She said, disbelief taking over her face.

"YAY!" Jamestown said, and embraced Virginia in the worlds biggest hug. When the hug was over about a minute later, Virginia got a very mischievous look in her eyes.

"Jamie, there's two somebody's I want you to meet."

* * *

NC had a video camera trained on Roanoke's face.

"It's just rice," Roanoke said.

"Never say that again. Now eat your rice," NC said.

"But it's _dirtyyyyyy..._" Roanoke whined.

"That's just the_ NAME!_" NC yelled, growing more and more impatient. Then her phone rang. Seeing that it was Virginia, she decided that Roanoke's first bite of Dirty Rice could wait. "You got lucky, punk."

"'Sup?" NC said, answering the phone.

"Dude, where are you?" Virginia asked.

"Bojangles."

"Seriously?"

"Bro, it's Bo Time."

"Whatever! How soon can you get to-are you _eating?_"

"Yersh."

"You are hopeless. Just be at the Field in an hour."

"Any reason why?"

"I got something that's probably going to take a lot of space to show you. Bring Roanoke. It'll blow his little 16th century mind away!" And Virginia hung up.

NC turned around to tell Roanoke the news. He had eaten all his dirty rice, and she didn't capture one second of it on camera. "OH COME ON!" She yelled, picking him up and dragging him to the Field.

* * *

The Field is the big lawn in front of America's house. It contains many sports goals and lines, which earned it the nickname of the Field. It could also easily land a small passenger jet.

When NC and Roanoke walked up, they found Virginia standing very smugly with her tiny lookalike(now in 21st century clothes!) by her side.

"Sup Virginia. Did Richmond personify or something?" NC asked.

"Nope," Virginia responded, getting more and more cocky as time went on.

"You and DC have another love-child? What is it this time? North Virginia? Choose that one, kid."

"God, you're bad at this."

"So who's the kid?"

"The first successful English colony in the New World," Jamestown said. At this, Roanoke was ready to throw down. So was NC.

"What are you saying?" NC asked, holding back Roanoke from murder.

"That Jamestown is awesomer than Roanoke," Virginia said.

"I GUESS YOU'RE FORGETTING THAT YOU WERE BORN IN MY COLONY, AREN'T YOU, VIRGINIA DARE?" Roanoke yelled. His rage had finally boiled over, and he broke free of NC's grip and tackled Virginia. If you have never been tackled by an angry 5 year old, you are so lucky.

"So where have you been the past however long it's been since I've seen you?" NC asked Jamestown. Normally, she would be breaking spines, but she had eaten about 8 BoBerry biscuits on the way over, and she did not want an embarrassing moment where they made their reappearance.

"Oh, I got lost in Virginia's house about 1699, and she just found me a little bit ago when she was cleaning!" Jamestown happily replied.

"So, you could say that you're a lost colony?" NC asked with a very suspicious smile beginning to form.

"I guess so!" Jamestown said. "So what's it like now? Can England cook any better?"

"Let's just say a lot has changed since you've been gone. YO VIRGINIA!" NC yelled, and the sudden louditute caused the two to momentarily freeze. "Jamestown just admitted to being a lost colony."

"DUDE!" Virginia shifted her aggressiveness target from Roanoke to Jamestown. "You can't just go around saying that I lost you!"

"But you did!" Jamestown argued.

"And you see Roanoke, that is how you turn the enemy on themselves. Very useful for civil wars." NC said. She turned to look at Roanoke.

Whilst Virginia had escaped with a few scratches and a black eye, Roanoke was very softly crying and trying to hold in his blood from a nasty looking cut on his arm.

Grabbing Roanoke's hurt arm she proceeded to scold him for not telling her about the cut ASAP. "But I didn't want him to see me cry," Roanoke said when they were on their way in to clean up the cut and out of earshot from Jamestown and Virginia, who were still arguing outside.

"If you died from blood loss, I would still feel it, even you're not an official town or anything anymore," NC said, not really hearing what Roanoke had said. "Wait, what?"

"I didn't want Jamestown to see me cry. I'm older than him and stuff, and that means I can't cry around him, and he'll think I'm weak, and I'll never hear the end of it, and then Virginia will bother you about it, and even if you are the worst seeker in the world, you still make good rice, and then if Virginia bothers you about me being weak, then you won't make anymore rice or doughnuts or anything for me ever again because you'll be too sad like Missouri is all the time, and then you'll die from being to sad, and then I'll have to be North Carolina, and I couldn't handle being you because of the mountains, and I'm scared of the mountains 'cause they're really tall, and so that's why I didn't tell you I was bleeding, and I'm sorry, and please don't hate me!" Roanoke said. Really fast, I might add, and all in one breath. NC barely kept up.

"If I promise not to hate you, will you promise not to tell anyone it was us that left this bloody mess here?" NC asked. Roanoke had indeed left a small pool of blood and NC had gone through quite a few band-aids before she realized 'Fuck it, we're using gauze.'

"YAY!" Roanoke said, and they went to go run away from the medicine corner before someone caught them there and made them clean it up.

* * *

Aw... This actually turned out a little sad...

Anyways, how NC wanted to film Roanoke's first bite of Dirty Rice is based on a true story except the phone call part. My friends actually have a video of me eating rice tucked away somewhere if they didn't delete it on their phones.

I also had a really hard time not typing 'Virginai' when typing this. I don't know why, my fingers just wouldn't work right or something. Or maybe they knew I was going to make her slice open Roanoke's arm, which actually wasn't planned. It just happened. I zoned out, and when I popped back into reality, there it was, and I just rolled with it.

Man, this turned out to be long!

* * *

*BONUS STORY*

Somebody _may _have not seen Wyoming, and _may_ have run him over with a truck, and Wyoming _may_ have had to fix quite a few cuts on him before they healed with dirt or rocks in them or something, and he _may _have gone into the medicine corner, and for once in his life, Wyoming was glad that no one could see him, therefore none could blame him for the mess that he knew would be solved with DNA tests and over the top unnecessary stuff.


	72. Korea's Guilty Pleasure

As many of us know, Hetalia has been banned in South Korea for being offensive and other things that Hetalia is at its heart.

However, South Korea just didn't want Japan to know that he liked Hetalia so much, he obsessively watched and read it. Like, every free second was spent reading fanfic, checking for updates, etc.

And sometimes, he laughs so loud that Japan, China, and North Korea come over and have to threaten to take away Starcraft or invade before he calms down.

But then SK overheard that America knew about Hetalia too.

And so after the next World Meeting, SK decided to confront America about it.

"Hey, America-" SK started, but was soon cut off.

"For the last time, I DON'T HAVE ANY MORE CHEATS, YOU FOUND THEM ALL!" America said, taking SK by the shoulders.

"Actually... Can we talk somewhere more...private?" SK asked, aware of the unmoving stare of NK, waiting for him to slip up.

"Uh, yeah, sure!" America said, and they walked down the hall to a random location of your choosing that no-one had ever used.

"So, what did you want to talk to me about?" America asked.

"You've heard about Hetalia, right?" SK said, earning him an entrapment by America.

"HOW MUCH HAVE YOU SEEN?"

"Uh... All of it?"

And SK was released from his wall-prison. "Tell Britain and I will shut Blizzard DOWN."

And that is why America and SK are such good friends.


	73. NYC and NY

Once upon a time, NJ opened up a lesser used door, and found NY taped to it so he couldn't move or speak. After taking numerous blackmail pictures, NJ decided that he should probably get NY down if he wanted to continue to leech of him.

After cutting the state down and getting him out of the duct tape that was constricting his movements, NJ asked NY who taped him up.

"New York City! I've been there for 10 years! We've gotta catch him!" NY yelled, and ran off to find his doppelganger.

* * *

California was having a very heated debate with NY on the importance of hairspray.

Then NY ran in.

"YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" NY #2 yelled, and tackled NY #1 off the couch where he had been sitting with California.

There was now a flurry of punches and kicks, and seeing as both NYs were wearing the exact same thing, California no longer knew which one was which.

"Damn, you weren't kidding!" NJ said, walking in and assessing the scene.

"EVERYONE STOP NOW!" California yelled, holding up her random pickaxe threateningly. "IF SOMEONE DOESN'T TELL ME WHO THE REAL NEW YORK IS RIGHT NOW, I WILL KILL BOTH OF YOU!" She turned to NJ. "Go get America, and tell him it's a code 3289-K."

NJ nodded and ran out.

"Now, SIT ON THAT COUCH UNTIL AMERICA IS HERE, AND IF ONE OF YOU SO MUCH AS BREATHES TOO LOUDLY, I WILL NOT HESITATE TO SLAM THIS INTO YOUR SKULLS," California yelled. Did I mention she was on her period?

* * *

America was making the Statue of Liberty to scale out of Popsicle sticks. It wasn't all that good looking, but he had spent over 100 hours on it, and she was nearly done.

Then the door slammed open, causing vibrations to be sent around the room, and Lady Liberty fell down. "I swear, this better be important!"

"NEW YORK AND NEW YORK ARE FIGHTING!" NJ yelled.

"..."

"THERE ARE TWO NEW YORKS!"

America gave a sigh of extreme annoyedness. "Let's go." And America followed NJ back to the scene of the insanity, grabbing a small vial of something on his way out.

* * *

They walked in to see two very terrified looking NYs sitting in front of a very murderous looking California.

America very quickly rushed over and poured half of whatever was in the vial down the throats of one of the NYs. "Who are you?"

"I'm New York, also known as Ellis Jones," NY said.

America made the other NY drink the rest of the liquid. "Who are you?"

"New York City, but I've been going by New York for the past 10 years, 3 months and 15 days!" NYC said.

America leaned in. "Anything else either of you would like to tell us?"

"I'VE HAD A CRUSH ON PENNSYLVANIA FOR THE PAST 200 YEARS!" NY yelled suddenly. He looked like he instantly regretted it.

"I THINK I SHOULD BE THE CAPITAL OF NEW YORK!" NYC yelled.

"Dude, what is that stuff?" NJ asked.

"Truth serum! Works every time!" America said.

"Did I hear someone call my name?" Pennsylvania said as she peeked in from the door.

Needless to say, NY's face heated up like an oven.

* * *

D'awww...

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MAY I PRESENT THE OFFICIAL DEBUT OF NEW YORK! Every supposed appearance of him up until now was actually NYC.

NYC's the boldest, egotistical person(city?) EVER, and NY's actually... Well, YOU'LL SEE.

They're also identical in every physical way.

THIS SHOULD BE FUN.

And Maiuayame? Thanks for the info!


	74. 6,899

America's phone began ringing one day. Not really caring who it was, just wanting to get away from the chaos that was his house at the moment, he answered it without a look to see who it was. "Yo, this is America."

"Hello, America. How do you keep your states orderly?" Japan was the person who was calling.

"Well..." America was reluctant to admit that his states were the exact opposite of orderly. "Actually, I don't."

Japan gave a very audible sigh. "I was hoping to get your help with something, but I can do it on my own, goodbye."

"WAIT!" America yelled through the phone, causing Japan to pull the phone away from his ear to avoid deafness. "Please let me help you! I don't want to be around when my house explodes!"

"Well, if you insist..." And so Japan told America to go to his house.

* * *

America knocked on Japan's door. When it opened, he found himself suddenly suffocating under many children and teens. "JAPANNNNNN!"

Japan came running. He hadn't expected America to arrive so quickly. After some quick scolding in Japanese, all the kids got off of America, who was now looking traumatized.

"I...I... What?" America stuttered, trying to figure out what was going on. Texas had now morphed, and was nursing a broken arm from where he was crushed under the sheer weight of the angry Japanese youth. Texas's broken arm also meant that America's nose was broken. Texas is America's eyes and nose. THE MORE YOU KNOW.

"Help me," Japan said with a pleading look in his eye.

"How many?" America asked with a sigh.

"6,899," Japan said, earning a freak out from America and Texas. "All of my islands and Prefectures are personified."

America and Texas looked at each other, came to one of those silent agreements, and Texas morphed back into glasses, only one of his lenses was broken now. America attempted to walk out the door as calmly as he could, but two flying prefectures yelled something in Japanese, then tackled him.

* * *

The first person who correctly guesses what islands/prefectures tackled America and/or what they yelled gets a virtual cookie and a shout out.


	75. Indiana Jones and Kentucky's Near Death

"DA DA DA DAAAAAA!" Indiana yelled, singing what was slightly recognizable as the Indiana Jones theme.

Then there was a loud crash as the ceiling fan he was swinging on fell.

America suddenly found that his right shoulder was dislocated. "INDIANA HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO TELL YOU, IT'S JUST A MOVIE!"

Something like this happened on an almost daily basis. Only occasionally, Indiana would land on another state, or even die, and then something really bad would happen, like revenge.

* * *

Once upon a time, Kentucky was walking down the hall on the way to his room to pick up more chicken. You see, he only had a thigh and 3 wings left in his KFC bucket, and he was NOT about to run out.

But poor Kentucky failed to notice that there was a fucking big-ass rock sphere rolling behind him.

Now, before you're all like HOLY SHIT, IT WOULD BE LOUD AS DICKS HOW WOULD HE NOT HEAR THAT, let me tell your sweet little eyes that Kentucky was listening to some country band that you've never heard of via some 90s headphones. Yes, 90s headphones. The ones that cover pretty much your whole head and block out a nuclear war even if it's right next to you.

Then Kentucky saw Indiana sprint past him with a terrified look on his face. At that moment, he was willing to bet anyone all the KFC gravy in the world that he had just made someone mad.

And Kentucky felt something push his back very hard. He turned around, and saw a fucking big-ass rock sphere rolling towards him. Kentucky whipped back around and started sprinting faster than...than...SOMETHING FAST.

Kentucky saw a random door up ahead, tried the knob, found it was locked, bust it down, and ducked into it with about 3 inches(7.62 centimeters) to spare from being crushed to death by fucking big-ass rock sphere rolling towards him.

It turned out to be Virginia's room.

How did Kentucky know?

DC and Virginia were there, too.

In Virginia's bed.

If I told you what they were doing, I'd have to change the rating on this story.

Kentucky turned and ran to burn his eyeballs out of his head.

* * *

StarKidWolf gets a shout out for giving me info on Kentucky! StarKidWolf was also the first reviewer, so I'm going to tell every one that she was just like "YEAH, YOU'RE AWESOME" before anyone else. Cookie to you.

unknown-for-life gets a shout out for correctly guessing what prefectures tackled America in the last chapter! However, we still do not know what they said, but you still get a cookie.

PERSON WHO GUESSES WHAT HIROSHIMA AND NAGASAKI YELLED WHEN THEY TACKLED AMERICA GETS A VIRTUAL COOKIE AND SHOUTOUT!


	76. Kawaii

So since in the past 3 chapters, I managed to introduce 6,901 OCs, I was like, "I should probably only use cannon characters this chapter."

Then I was like fuck that.

* * *

Ever since Hawaii attempted to teach Japan how to surf, she's been trying to get him out for another lesson. It hasn't been going well. Every time Hawaii called to see if he was free, he had a very convenient meeting. So one day, she decided to go over to Japan's house and wait until he had time.

Hawaii noticed that the door was unlocked(after she unlocked it), walked in, and sat down on the couch. After a few minutes, a group of about 10 boys walked through. When they noticed her, Hawaii waved, and tried to understand what they were saying and failed, but did manage to pick up one familiar sounding word: kawaii.

She immediately thought that kawaii was Japanese for Hawaii. After the boys left, still a few more minutes later, Japan finally walked through.

"HEY JAPAN!" Hawaii yelled.

Japan, who was not expecting anyone over at all, let his Ninja reflexes kick in, and had Hawaii pinned to the floor in 2 seconds. Then he realized that he had just pinned Hawaii to the floor in 2 seconds. "I'm so sorry!" He repeated over and over, helping Hawaii up.

"Nah, it's ok, hey, Japan, you speak Japanese, right?" Hawaii asked, earning a facepalm from Japan. (virtual cookie to the first person to get the reference)

"Yes."

"OK, so, kawaii's Japanese for Hawaii, right?" Hawaii said, causing Japan to minorly blush. "'Cause these guys walked in when I was sitting here, saw me, and started speaking Japanese, and I was trying to be all sneaky and listen in, but I couldn't, but they did say kawaii, and that means Hawaii, right?" Hawaii repeated.

"Kawaii does not mean Hawaii," Japan said.

"Oh, then what's it mean?"

"Um... It doesn't translate well..." Japan was very awkward when it came to telling someone that someone else had just called them cute.

"Oh... SO LET'S GO SURFING!"

Poor Japan was lifted over Hawaii's head, and was carried to the beach and shoved on a surfboard. Then he was forced to surf still in his kimono. He had to be rescued again.

* * *

I typed up to the part where Hawaii was asking Japan about the meaning of kawaii, and I couldn't come up with a good ending(and I still couldn't, but we're all going to pretend I did), and then I was like "Screw it, Hawaii won't find out what it means."

So we have someone who was so close I want to say they got it on what Hiroshima and Nagasaki said when they tackled America, but they didn't _quite_ get it. otaku4ever thought that said prefectures yelled "This is for nuking us you *****!"(Our dearest otaku didn't specify what manner of color they decorated their language with.) I'm just going to give you some cake. (HAHAHA The cake is a lie!)

And a very Irish Maid wishes for a shoutout and a cookie portion. No, you were wrong.


	77. The Short Shorts

Italy and Romano are addicted to Mario games.

Japan has actually found them breaking into Nintendo headquarters trying to get to the next game early.

Anyways, every time they start up Mario Kart Wii, I think you know where I'm going with this if you've ever played it.

"MARIO KART WII!" They yell.

"Yahoo!" Romano adds.

* * *

When Japan first met the Netherlands the first thing that went through his head was "That is some _hair!"_

And then, when Japan started making anime and manga, he was like "I got this hair thing."

And so the original anime hair came from the Netherlands.

* * *

In 2006, a cargo ship lost one of its containers, spilling tons of Doritos into the ocean.

They washed up on the Outer Banks, North Carolina.

NC made a Doritos fort.

Then she ate it.

* * *

Germany, Switzerland, and Britain learned that they ate more than twice the amount of chocolate as America in a year.

They felt fat.

* * *

WHO'S THE ASSHOLE WHO DIDN'T TELL ME ABOUT THE DORITOS?


	78. The Be(ea)tles

ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE MID 1900s, Britain got drunk.

"I BET THEH QUEEHN THAT I CAN MAKE A BURST-SELLIN' BAND OUTTA ANYTHIN'!"

And Britain woke up with a wax disc(forgive me if this is not accurate, but this is the best period-accurate thing I could find on the internet) lying beside him. But somehow,

He was like "Why the fuck not?" and so he went over to the thing you play wax discs on(no, I will NOT research it) and played it.

"So, Britain, could you please repeat that challenge for everyone?" France's voice came through the speaker-thing. Britain cringed automatically at hearing the voice.

"Yeah!" And Britain heard his own voice come through, sounding like an American. Yeah? Britain cringed again. "To all you bloody WANKERSH out there, I bet theh Queehn that I can make a sellin'-bersht bhand outta ANYTHIN', WANKERSH!"

"And there you go, Britain. I bet you can't make a best selling band out of insects. Now, if you would please send the Queen over before Wednesday, that would be wonderful!" France's recorded voice said. Britain was seriously going to kill him one of these days.

But no way in hell was Britain going to send Queen Elizabeth over to be violated by that frog face!

And so he phoned Norway and Romania up for help.

* * *

When they arrived a bit later(no questions asked, of course, blackmail's where it's at) they found Britain already ransacking his library reading everything he could.

"Britain? Are you alright?" Norway asked.

"No, Norway, I most certainly am NOT alright!" Britain responded, feverishly flipping through a rather thick and old looking book.

"Well, what's wrong?" Romania asked.

And Britain played the record for them.

"I am so sorry," Norway said.

"So now I have to find a way to get insects to sing and play instruments!" Britain said, already flipping through another book.

"Why don't you just use a personification spell?" Flying Mint Bunny, who had flown into the room in all the commotion, said.

"THAT'S A GREAT IDEA, MINT!" Britain yelled. But he soon realized he didn't know the right spell, and had to go to Hogwarts for a bit.

He then turned some beetles into people.

And thus, the Beatles were created.

They were very successful.

"IN YOUR PERVERTED FRENCH FACE!"


	79. Ich Liebe

Prussia heard a strange sound coming from the kitchen one day.

He decided to be all sneaky and get the advantage just in case it was a burglar or something completely not awesome.

He stealth-crawled into the kitchen to find...

Germany singing a song about baking a cake.

Prussia somehow managed to stealth-crawl back to his room where he called Japan after a minute of laughter. "JAPAN HOW SOON CAN YOU GET HERE?"

"Prussia, hello. Do you know what time it is here?" Japan said very sleepily.

"NO TIME WEST IS SINGING A SONG ABOUT CAKE!"

Japan used some currently unreleased Japanese tech to teleport into Prussia's room. He was armed with multiple video cameras and more than enough microphones to record the whole indecent and a few more years worth. "Show me where."

So Prussia led Japan to the kitchen, where they barely held back laughter as they recorded the stuff and listened in.

"What's he saying?" Japan whispered. Well, Germany was singing in German.

"Pretty much about how to bake a cake," Prussia whispered for quite possibly the first time in his life.

Then Germany moved over to the phone. He dialed a number and waited a bit before speaking. "Um...Italy...I've made some cake and coffee... Would you like to...eat them together?"

Prussia and Japan both made slightly audible gasps. Japan looked like a complete fangirl, and started shaking his hands in anticipation.

"Oh, I see!" Germany said, smiling(!) and doing a little dance in celebration. "Wait just a moment!" And Germany hung up the phone.

Prussia and Japan had graduated from gasps to high-pitched fangirl squeals, and they looked at each other like "I KNEW IT WOULD HAPPEN!" Then they gave high-5s.

Unfortunately for them, Germany heard their little freak out, and was like "What?" and went over to investigate.

Prussia noticed poor Germany almost immediately, and gave him the world's biggest, most non-gay(to anyone who saw it, it looked like the beginnings of a Germancest lemon) bro-hug ever. "SIE SEDUCED ITALIEN!" Prussia yelled into his ear.(YOU SEDUCED ITALY!)

"Wha?" Germany said.

Prussia pulled away from the hug and looked around the kitchen. "You left the kitchen a mess, too."

Japan looked around the immaculate kitchen from his spot on the floor.

"I did not seduce Italy!" Germany protested.

"Not yet~" Prussia teased, and decided it would be a good time to run away.

Germany ran after Prussia, and tripped over Japan, whom he had just noticed. He also noticed that Japan had loads of stuff that could have been used to record him singing.

"Did you record me singing?"

"Goodbye, Germany!" Japan said quickly, and teleported back into the safety of his own home.


	80. The Second Drinking Contest

So I found out late last night that America can only see magical creatures on Halloween. So that means that the chapter Doctor Who happened on Halloween if we're going to keep things mostly cannon. (And I try my best to do so)

Also, I'm going to take a vacation for a week, and I have no clue if the Internet will work where I'm going. If it does, I'm going to update once a day. If it doesn't, you're going to have to deal with it.

* * *

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU HAD A DRINKING CONTEST WITHOUT ME!" Ireland yelled.

"You should have-" Scotland tried to say.

"I DON'T CARE WHAT I SHOULD HAVE DONE, YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN TO CONTACT ME!"

"Calm down!"

"I WILL NOT CALM DOWN!"

"Why not?"

"BECAUSE YOU KNOW I CAN DRINK WAY MORE THAN YOU!"

Scotland was taken aback by this. "Well, you must be drunk right now to be saying things like that!"

"Alright! There's gonna be another drinking contest! TONIGHT!"

And then Ireland stormed away to tell the rest of the world about the contest.

* * *

PARTICIPANTS:  
Scotland, Ireland, Russia, Latvia, Prussia, Germany(once again dragged into by Prussia), Denmark, Britain, Alaska(Sent in place of America in hopes of his Russian blood helping him consume more alcohol), France, Hungary, Romano, Nevada(I FUCKING GOT THIS, DAD!), Moldova, and South Korea, because according to him, "ALCOHOL WAS INVENTED IN KOREA!"

Rules were the same as last time, and I'm not going to copy-paste or anything, so either remember them from last time or go back and check them out.

THE MATCH:

This time, Britain didn't even make it to the beer, and was out after the wine when he went to grope France. France told him to wait a bit, and Britain was deemed to be doing something crazy.

France threw the competition one beer later, and started babbling. However, anyone could see that he was still quite sober, and then France left to probably(definitely) sex up Britain.

Prussia left seconds later to go get pictures.

"Mega-Blocks are better than Legos" Was the statement that got Denmark disqualified for incoherent speech after 2 rounds of everything.

Romano lost just two wines after that when he asked Germany for a potato. Germany, who of course had potatoes on him, gave him one, and Romano bit into it and called it the best thing ever.

Nevada was out after the first beer of the third round when he revealed the location and all the secrets of Area 51. America was very mad when he found out that so much of Nevada's budget was going to hair care and make-up supplies.

Germany gave Romano all of his potatoes on the second vodka, telling him that he hated potatoes.

South Korea got out halfway through the third vodka when he declared Starcraft was horrible, then passed out. When he came to, he asked what happened, and after being told what he said, he past out again.

Alaska threw up on Russia. All over his scarf. America was very proud of his son. Russia was very upset. He was out after three rounds of everything.

Latvia got out when he gave the vomit-covered Russia a hug. Russia hugged back and nearly broke Latvia's spine. Latvia fell out of his chair. This was two wines after Alaska got out.

Hungary lost very soon after Prussia returned from his blackmail hunt after the first beer. "Heyyyyy Pruuuusssssshhhhhhiiiiiaaaaaaa, fiiiiive meeeeeters, huh? Can I go coooonfirm thaaaat?" It was confirmed.

It was now down to Scotland, Ireland, Russia, and Moldova.

After 11 rounds of everything and 2 and a half beers, Russia got up and gave America a hug. "America, I loooooooooooooooove you!" America was very concerned for his well-being, and he was also very thankful that Alaska's puke had mostly dried and didn't get on him that much.

Then, after 13 rounds, Scotland and Ireland got out simultaneously when Scotland decided it was time to do a sheep and Ireland decided it was time to fall out of his chair and nearly crack his skull open on the floor.

Moldova won, and was like "Huh?" Then he broke out into Dragostea Din Tei and pulled a random saxophone out of nowhere, and played the solo most commonly known as "Epic Sax Guy"

* * *

I know you guys are going to be like, WHY DID MOLDOVA WIN? But here's my reason: Moldova has the highest alcohol consumption out of any country!(according to Wikipedia...) And, I said so.

Also, Dragostea Din Tei is more commonly known in America as Numa Numa, and if you haven't heard it, you are missing out on so much in life. SO MUCH.


	81. The Girl with the Hat

This really happened. And since I'm going to the beach, I'd thought I'd tell you about one of the few interactions I've ever had where I had no clue what to do.

* * *

So when I was about 10 a few years back, I was at the beach, just chilling in the ocean. Let me tell you a bit about this beach for a second. If you've ever been to an NC beach, you know already, so you can skip the next bit, but these beaches have riptides up the butthole and waves reach 5+ feet(1.66-ish meters) pretty often, but normally stay around 3 feet,(That's almost exactly a meter) and they can overtake you crazy easy. It's always really rough, and 3 people drowned literally at the beach I'm going to last week. And I do believe that there was some tropical storm on the way or something, but I can't remember exactly, so don't hold me to that.

Anyways, I'm all alone, so I'm scouting the surrounding sea for anyone around my age to talk to and swim and stuff with, when I see this girl in a giant sunhat.

I immediately think: "This girl's either Canadian or from really far inland." She had obviously never been to that beach, at least. Then I think: "This girl's gonna lose her sunhat so much."

So I swim over to her and I'm like "Hey, the waves get pretty rough here so you might wanna leave your-"

And she looks at me with the most horrified look and is like "I DO NOT SPEAK ENGLISH! I DO NOT SPEAK ENGLISH!"

She had this accent, which to this day I have not placed, which she pronounced it like "Ay do nout speak Eenglesh!" Or maybe that's because she doesn't speak English.

Now I start doing this weird sign language thing where I pat my head saying 'hat' and point to the shore, then I make my arms do a wave or something, and she's looking at me like I need mental help, and I realize that the language barrier is too strong, and so I swim back about 30-ish feet and just wait for her hat to get taken off her head by a wave.

* * *

If anyone has this friend who was like "So remember when I went to America this summer? Well, there was this crazy girl at the beach who kept trying to talk to me and I couldn't understand her. It was weird!" Please tell me.

I really want to track her down and ask her if she still has that hat. I don't know why. That sounds really stalker-ish.

And if this was racist in any way(because as I read over it I feel like it is), there's a wonderful song about that. /watch?v=RovF1zsDoeM


	82. Asian Week: China

So I get internet access here. I'm also on a freaking kindle, which is a pain to type on. Lucy for me, I pretyped a very, very special week.

Here's the story behind Asian Week: On the day before final tests in school a monthish ago, some kid in my class was complaining about having to study so much to be ready for the tests. He then said that he wished he was Asian. The idea of summoning the power of Asia came into my head as an awesome idea for a fun and easy alternative to studying.(which I still have never done once in my life) Well, long story short, I have 7 chapters that were the direct cause of me acing my tests.

TARGET 1: China

* * *

Aaaaaaannnnnnnnddddddd World Meeting.(It's convenient, fun, and I said so!)

Finland was in the middle of his speech on how to get kids to be nicer. Poor Finny, but I've got tests!

"OH MY FUCKING GOD!" I yelled as I teleported in.

"Oletko tosissasi? Ei sinulle! Et aiheuttaa minulle henkistä tuskaa!" Finland yelled, then realized that it was not going to make me go away to scream at me, and sat down, defeated. (Are you kidding me? Not you! You cause me mental pain!)

"Look at this ancient motherfucker," I said, pointing to China, who was having mixed feelings about being the victim of my next assault.

"ITALY! ROMANO!" I yelled, making them turn. "You wish Grandpa Rome looked this good at his age, don't you?"

"OF COURSE YOU DO! THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS OVER 4000 YEARS OLD ARU!" I said(yelled) before they could register what I had said. "You can't even IMAGINE the things this motherfucker's seen!"

"STOP CALLING ME A MOTHERFUCKER!" China yelled, getting out of his chair.

I pushed him down and held him down, like Belarus was doing to a silently horrified Russia at the moment. "I mean really! When you have over a billion Asian people in one place it can get FUCKING HECTIC."

India looked like he wanted to say something, but he didn't. Smart move.

And I turned to America. "Plus, he's a fucking COMMIE."

"I'VE BEEN BUYING COMMIE SHIT?" America yelled, who obviously hadn't been paying attention the past 60-ish years. "No wonder it's so flimsy!"

China made a move to get out of his seat again. HAHA no. I used my awesome author magic that I just decided I can have to bind him to his seat for the time being until I could get back.

Jumping up on the table so I DEFINITELY had everyone's attention, I began my next lol statement. "So, let's say that theoretically," I said, adding air quotes around "theoretically," "that Russia and China had crazy hot sex. Who would top?"

And everyone responded Russia would. Except China. China looked scared.

"WRONG! YOU FUCKING WISH RUSSIA COULD TOP YOU, YOU SLUTS! WELL, THIS MOTHERFUCKER DOES!" I yelled, jumping back down to China.

"Fuck that Mongolia bitch in the middle, we all know he's not getting any," I said.

"Tell that to your MOM!" Mongolia yelled.

"Fuck! Russia wishes he was still a fucking commie!" I said.

"Kolkolkolkolkol"

"I mean SERIOUSLY! You can't deny how fucking badass China is with his fucking "aru"s!" And I turned to Japan, who froze as soon as he saw my gaze on him. "Japan?" I said very calmly.

"Y-yes?"

"YOU BETTER GET YOUR PANSY ASS BACK TO YOUR FUCKING ISLAND BECAUSE THIS OLD GEEZER WILL KICK YOUR KAMIKAZE ASS OUT OF MANCHURIA ANY DAY!" I yelled with so much force and so loud that Japan actually fell out of his chair.

"And that was day one of Asian Week!" I said. "I'll be targeting another Asian nation EVERY DAY."

And the Asian nations freaked out.

* * *

China very wisely kept his mouth shut through this chapter. Also, I had no idea what to make him say.


	83. Asian Week: Japan

A bit of headcanon stuff. Once upon a time, Sealand got Finland preggers, and the baby was sent to England, and said baby is now Finny from Black Butler. If you think about it just a bit, it all adds up.

TARGET 2: Japan

* * *

Day 2 of the World Meeting. (yes, they last more than one day)

"KAWAII FUCKING DESU KA!" I yelled as I teleported in. I swung around to walk to Japan's seat.

Then I noticed that he wasn't there. Looking around, I saw that none of the Asian nations were there! Even the countries that were in Asia and another continent weren't taking any chances!

"Where are my lovely Asians?" I asked.

"Well, China's out due to pollution sickness, North Korea claimed he was going to anger management classes, Russia said General Winter struck randomly, Japan said he's lost, you get the idea," Hungary said.

"Bummer. Well, since my test tomorrow's on American history, I can make do with what's here," I said, walking over to America.

"Christ..." America groaned.

"Oh my fucking Democracy," I said.

"Here we go," America said with a sigh, and pulled out a soda.

"You think you can defeat this gorgeous motherfucker?" I asked the whole room. "Bitch, please, this bitch is always the HERO, 'cause he is Goddamned AMERICA, and as the last fucking world superpower, he is gonna OWN your inferior ass and there isn't anything you can fucking do about it!"

* * *

I just smashed a bug on my computer, and now I have bug guts on my screen. TOP.

* * *

"WOOO!" America, who was quickly getting more involved, yelled.

"EVERYONE LOVES THIS SON OF A BITCH!" I yelled. "I mean, Britain and France are always releasing sexual tensions over this motherfucker!"

"Wait, what?" America said.

Meanwhile, France was wiggling his eyebrows seductively at Britain.

"Even though he doesn't know where Japan is!" I said. Oh, grammar. I don't know how to fix you there. "D'you think he gives a shit? Of course not, ASS!" I said, cutting off about 10 countries who were trying to respond.

"He STILL made him his bitch in WW2. Hell, he made Germany his bitch in both World Wars!" I said, my speech accented by America's yells of "yeah!"

"He made Britain his bitch during the Revolutionary War, and he made Russia his bitch during the Cold War," I said, counting off on my fingers. "This pimp just don't know when to fucking QUIT!"

"Hell, this bitch lived with motherfucking BRITAIN. You know this motherfucker's got mad skillz if he could survive that shit cooking."

"EXCUSE ME!" Britain said.

"Yes, Britain, shit," I said getting in his face. "But you know what? This fucker is so Goddamned wonderful that he ate it anyways."

"HOW FUCKING GENEROUS WAS THAT?" I asked.

"Pretty generous," America said.

"WANKER!"

"Are you that generous?" I asked the room.

"Didn't think so, you greedy sons of bitches. FUCK your stupid-ass country!" I said. This statement was met with much disapproval.

"America is the MOTHER FUCKING SHIT!" I yelled.

"YEAH I AM! BOW DOWN!"

"Bitches, and he could bomb all you fucking whores until you're nothing but the piles of shit that you are," I said, meeting with even more disapproval.

"AND THAT WAS DAY TWO OF ASIAN WEEK!" I said. "Where I'll be targeting another Asian week every day!"

"But I'm not Asian..." America said.

"Well, we're going to pretend for a bit."


	84. Asian Week: Rants and Warnings

Before Asian Week happens today, I have to yell at NC for her standardized tests.

* * *

And so I teleported into America's house and started wandering around trying to find NC. Fun fact: America's house= not set up like America.

So after like 10 minutes of searching, I finally found NC. Where? Fucking about to throw Ohio off the damn roof.

"YOU WANNA BE FIRST IN UNASSISTED FLIGHT?" She was yelling.

"NO!" Ohio yelled back.

"HEY KNOBS!" I yelled, effectively gaining their attention.

"Who are you?" NC asked. Man, I could make a Canada joke here, but I won't. Also, you would think NC would recognize one of her LEGIT citizens.

"I'm Grace, and I'm here to rant about the standardized Social Studies test I took today," I said.

"Well, if you already took it, there's no point in yelling to me about having to take it!" NC said.

"Nah, I just wanna tell you about the racist answer and the heart attack the test gave me."

"You put a racist answer on a standardized test?" Ohio asked.

"You must really want me to drop you."

"Well, basically the question was something like 'Why was slavery predominately in Eastern NC' or something, but one of the answer choices was 'Because the climate is similar to a Tropical climate, giving the slaves a better chance at survival.'" I said. "Now look me in the eye and tell me that that's not racist."

"..."

"And you can't put 46 answer spaces and only have 26 questions! I turned the page and thought I was missing half my booklet! Also, that test was NOT on US History! That was fucking Economics and NC Geography mixed with slavery!"

"You can't design a test very well," Ohio said.

NC dropped him. Then she turned to me. I now have the state that I have to live in hating me. WONDERFUL. Well, might as well get on with Asian Week. And so I teleported out of there before NC could drop me over as well.

* * *

"YO JAPAN!" I said, teleporting into Japan's house. Japan was not in the room I was in. Fuck that, I am not searching all over someone else's house AGAIN for someone to yell at. I'll just leave him a note or something later.

* * *

"YO SOUTH KOREA!" I yelled. I turned around looking for him, and I found him sitting at a rather MLG looking setup playing Starcraft. PERFECT. "You better come back to the World Meeting tomorrow," I said.

Pausing the game, he looked up and recognized me as the girl holding Asian week and suddenly realized that he was not safe. "No."

"You will, or I'll unplug your computer!" I said, moving over to the wall-socket-whatever-it's-called-thingy-that-elect ricity-comes-from.

"WAIT! Ok, ok, I'll go! Just... don't take away Starcraft!"

"Deal."

* * *

"YO RUSSIA!" I yelled. And so Russia stepped out of the shadows of his house carrying a rather large and threatening pipe. "You better come back to the World Meeting tomorrow!" I said.

"It would be such a shame to spill your blood~ Why don't you leave now?"

"...NAH! C'mon! Just go to the World Meeting!"

"Kolkolkolkolkol..."

"No need to be like that, just GO!" I am the bravest motherfucker ever.

* * *

"YO CHINA!" I yelled.

"GO AWAY, ARU!"

"Just go to the World Meeting! Come ON! I already did you, now all you have to do is laugh at the other countries!" I said. "By the way, thanks for helping me with that test."

"I didn't help you!"

* * *

And so I went to the rest of the Asian Countries that I couldn't come up with something funny to write and was like "GO TO THE MEETING!"


	85. Asian Week: Korea

I teleported in to see that _most_ of the Asian countries were in attendance. Fucking Russia was being a chicken. Whatever.

"SIT DOWN AND RECOGNIZE you pieces of SHIT!" I yelled. "GQ motherfuckers originated in motherfucking SOUTH KOREA!"

"YEAH THEY DID!" SK yelled.

"Your dumb bitch asses better not be mistaking him for that fucker up north!"

"(Enter long rant that lasts until after I leave that no one really cares about)" NK yelled.

"Noooooo! The only bombs this bitch drops are _sex bombs!_" I walked over to Japan. "You just wait he's coming in his Hyundai and he's coming for your breasts and you can't stop him! HE'S GOT AN ARMY OF ROBOTS AND SHIT!"

"URI NARA MANSAE!" SK yelled, jumping up and throwing his hands in the air. (Hooray for our land)

"His TV shows are gonna make you cry like a Goddamned pussy, then he'll start dancing like motherfucking rain!"

"OPPA GANGNAM STYLE!"(Even I can't resist one more use of the world's most overused song)

Moving back over to Japan, I started yelling at him again. "GODDAMN this shit's so INTENSE there wasn't room for him in your WEAKASS anime! Your mind would have been BLOWN like how bitches blow his GIANT COCK!"

Many giggles were heard when I called SK's genitalia giant.

"Shut uuuuuupppp..." SK said and sat down, pouting.

"FUCK YEAH, SOUTH KOREA!"

* * *

UGGGH! I really wanted to do North Korea, but I couldn't find a picture online(probably cuz NK isn't a character), even of strait up North Korea the country, then I tried Kim Jong Un or however you spell it, but I couldn't find that either, and UGGGHH!

And If you haven't figured it out by now, I'm using Extreme Advertising pictures. You can find them crazy easy with good ol' Google.

So tomorrow's the last day of the World Meeting, then I'll have to just invade houses or something for Asian Week.


	86. Asian Week: Japan (Again)

"KAWAII FUCKING DESU KA!" I yelled.

"YOU ALREADY SAID THAT!" America yelled back.

"Yeah, but then Japan wasn't here, and so I did you, and everyone fucking LOVES Japan, so we have to do Japan today so I don't get murdered," I said, which made Japan very nervous.

"Well I bet I have your attention now, you fucking WEABOOS! But look at that Asian, that's fucking JAPAN!" I said, pointing to Japan, who was already hiding his face in his hands. "And he'll samurai your ass anyday."

"What about ninjas?" Germany asked.

"Fuck, he may look cute and innocent, but what you bitches don't know is he'll slice your motherfucking throat open and watch you bleed like the sick fuck he is," I said.

If Russia had been in attendance, I swear he would have said something about this being normal.

"BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE!"

Japan groaned and wished he could disappear.

Walking over to China, I started on the next part. "He'll fucking rape your Nanking like he did to this motherfucker and he won't even regret it! That's how fucked up he is!"

"I CAN'T BEVEL YOU BROUGHT THAT UP!" China yelled, standing up. Japan crawled under the table. America was silently congratulating himself on not letting Japan know Hawaii was personified until recently. He just possibly saved her from being raped.

"This motherfucker," I said, pulling Japan up from under the table, "commits Sepukku daily, and STILL LIVES. You wish you had skills like that BITCHES!"

"What's Sepukku?" America asked.

"Honorable suicide," I said, dropping Japan and teleporting away.

"Germanyyyy... I'm scared of Japan!" Italy said, grabbing on to Germany's arm with a death grip that would take at least an hour to get out of.

And Italy had said what pretty much the whole room was thinking. Japan groaned again and went back under the table.

* * *

Yes, I love the character Japan, but I also think he's way to nice for the period. In the more modern strips, yeah, Japan should be the nicest motherfucker ever, but bitch went in and destroyed your towns and raped your women in WW2. Hell, a lot of countries went in and destroyed your towns and raped your women, and we all know what the Holocaust was! Everyone's just too fucking nice during WW2. RANT OVER.


	87. Asian Week: Russia (Featuring Belarus)

I checked my e-mails last week, and a Russian person asked me if I knew how to post a link on something. In Russian. I had to use Google Translate. I think they have the wrong address...

* * *

And so I signed my death certificate by teleporting into Russia's house.(Literally as soon as I typed that the temp in my room dropped by like 10 degrees...)

"Russiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaa~ Where are youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu~?" I called. Thank Christ I'm the world's best dodger, because otherwise I would have been stabbed in the brain by a flying knife. But at least now I don't have to get a haircut.

I turned to the source of the very murderous knife and found none other than our resident yandere, Belarus. FUCK ME. "YOU STAY AWAY FROM BIG BROTHER! HE IS MINE AND MINE ALONE!" And she charged.

Deciding it would be a very good idea to grab the knife know lodged in the wall behind be, I did just that. But my luck is absolutely fucking wonderful today, and that means the knife is STUCK.

And, of course, Belarus has ANOTHER knife.

I have no regrets for anything I've ever done, and if I'm going to die at the hands of a crazy anime character who may have raped her brother, I'm cool with that.

But fuck dying, IMMA LIVE! And that is why I ran into a wall of flesh known as Russia, who must have heard all the commotion going on in the past 10 seconds that just happened in and was like WTF IS THAT LETS GO CHECK IT OUT! and so now I'm saved by Russia.

Russia took a second to look around the room, saw Belarus, and ran. "BIG BROTHER, COME BACK! I HAVE ALMOST ELIMINATED THE GIRL WHO WILL TRY TO EMBARRASS YOU IN FRONT OF THE WORLD! BIG BROTHER, BECOME ONE! MARRY ME!" And Belarus ran after him.

"GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY!" Russia yelled as he ran. It was pretty awesome 'cause that fade out thing that I thought only happened in moves happened.

That is the story of how my life almost ended, I was saved by Russia, Russia abandoned me, and by abandoning me he saved me.


	88. Asian Week: Fin(land)ale

Fuck I had almost 3/4 of this chapter done, but then I lost it all. Fucking Chrome crashed.

* * *

Turns out Finland has the highest test scores in the world.

I THINK WE ALL KNOW WHATS ABOUT TO HAPPEN.

"HEY FINLAND!" I yelled.

"NO!" He yelled back from another part of the Nordic house. There are two possibilities for what he thinks is going on; A-Finland knows it's me, or B- Finland thinks I'm Denmark or something.

"YES!"

"NO!"

"SHUT UP, BOTH OF YOU!" Denmark yelled from yet another part of the Nordic house. Well, if option B is what was happening, that's not what's happening now!

"Wait, Denmark? I thought I was yelling at you, and you were going to tell me to put on the dress again!" Finland said, his voice getting closer and closer.

"No, I'm in the Lego Room!" Denmark yelled back.

"Then who- Äiti kusipää!" Finland yelled when he saw me.(Mother fucker)

"'Sup?" I said, way too casually. But after you face down a murderous knife-wielding maniac, everything just seems casual.

"WHY ARE YOU HERE?"

"Oh, y'know how I've been doing that Asian Week thing? Well, today's the finale, and so I'm making it the Finlandale, like Finland and finale combined, and since you've got the world's highest test scores, I'm like, yeah, let's do this, even if it's gonna make people mad," I said.

"I'M NOT ASIAN!"

"Yeah, I guess I am gonna get flamed over that...uhhhh...Well, I guess I'm going to Asia!" I said and teleported away.

Sweden walked in. "What happened?"

"I...I...I just don't know, Sve!"

* * *

"SUP NORTH KOREA!"

"GET OUT NOW!"

"OH HELL!"

And that is how I narrowly avoided death by the Propaganda Canon of North Korea.

* * *

"SUP RUSSIA! I KNOW I WAS HERE YESTERDAY, BUT BELARUS ALMOST KILLED ME, AND-"

"IT WON'T JUST BE ALMOST THIS TIME!"

"OH HELL!"

And that is how I was almost murdered by Belarus twice in two days.

* * *

"'SUP JAPAN! Oh, you're dead..."

It seems I found him right after committing Sepukku.

"'SUP OSAKA!" I said, as Osaka appeared to be the one that took off Japan's head.

* * *

"SUP VIETNAM!"

So I thought her paddle was a paintbrush.(No joke, I used to think her paddle was a really big paint brush.)

I think that was the most painful way I've ever been wrong in my life.

* * *

"'SUP GEORGIA!"

Georgia dropped her peach.

"Crap, wrong Georgia! PEPSI'S BETTER!"

"THAT'S A LIE!"

* * *

"SUP NEPAL! Your flag is awesome. That is all. Bye!"

I left behind a very confused but smug Nepal.


	89. The Warning

I didn't abandon you. I came home from the beach last Saturday and was ready to get my type on, and my Internet was down. Confronting my mom about it, it turns out she didn't pay the bill. So I had a few days where I went cold turkey on internet, and you know what? IT SUCKED. So First World Problems. Which will be a chapter later when I get around to it. Because FWP are hilarious and not real problems, and I'm going to make fun of them.

Yes, this happened in a chat with ThirdEyeTeller413 a while back and I'm like FUCK IT, IT'S A CHAPTER. Why? Because I was smart enough to type it down in case I needed an emergency chapter sometime. And I think this counts as one of those times.

Also, in this chapter, themes from her story Adjusting to America!

Also, you'll have no idea what's going on in a future emergency chapter without some form of explanation in this form.

So now, I attempt to put a chat roleplay into chapter form, and this is the end result.

* * *

"Well, I can dream, too, Rosa!" Canada said.

"Then go back to bed," Bolivia responded. She had just crushed Canada's dream of being... MapleMan.

"Boo..." Canada said, turning away from Bolivia.

"Geez, I was kidding!"

"I wasn't!"

"Then go show Alfred who's boss, and be the world's best hero," Bolivia said.

"I don't feel like dying just yet..."

"Who said you're going to die? Alfred's a wimp! I've beaten him up before, and neither him nor Florida could do anything about it!" Boliva said, recalling the time Florida failed miserably at revenge.

"You...You...YOU WHAT? HOW ARE YOU STILL AMONG THE LIVING?" Canada yelled for him, more shocked than when he tasted Britain's cooking for the first time.

"I'm pretty tough. I hang out with your 2p!" Bolivia said, giving Canada a thumbs up.

"The fact that you are having a conversation with me that is not through machine because your tongue has been ripped out by that hoser is incredible."

"Don't be mean! We're friends, and he would NEVER rip my tongue out! I think..."

"I still don't like him. AT ALL."

"You can actually hate someone!" Bolivia said, giving Canada a hug. "I'm so proud."

And then I make things awesomer by teleporting in. "KISS KISS KISS KISS!"

"QUE?" Bolivia yelled, freaking out like a cat in a bath. "Oh, it's an Admin! You're my Admin's brain-child friend! hiii~" She said, waving.

"Hey Canada~ Guess what~" I said in the most sing-songy voice ever.

"I'm very scared right now," Canada said, and one look at him confirmed his statement. He looked ready to pee himself.

"Just tell us~" Bolivia said, slightly too eager for this.

"Fine! Well, Canada's next!" With this statement, Canada's face lost all color. "You have two days to prevent it from happening!"

"I want to see this happen, sooooo..." Bolivia gave Canada a quick little peck on the cheek, much like a mother would do to her child that is leaving for school, "GOOD LUCK MATTIE!"

"NO, WAIT! I DON'T WANT TO BE NEXT!" Canada Canadian-yelled.(yes this is what Canada's yelling will be called from now on.) "But, if you must, _please_ don't make it as bad as Japan's..."

"Oh sweet!" I said. "Thanks for the idea, sexy!" And then I gave Canada a quick hug and teleported away before Bolivia could kill me.

"WAIT! MAKE IGGY ONE! He deserves it! And don't make Mattie _too_ flustered, he might die of embarrassment, or of me hugging him because he was embarrassed," Bolivia yelled at the spot I was just occupying.

"I DON'T WANT THIS TO HAPPEN!" Canada Canadian-yelled. Then he got down on his knees and actually started begging. "Help me. PLEASE."

"You have to be strong for me, Matthew!" Bolivia said, embracing him in a reassuring hug.

"Yeah, I have free healthcare, so in case I go into shock, just drag my body to a HOSPITAL!" Canada said, and started crying.

Bolivia sighed and kissed Canada's forehead. "Stop whining... If I can, I'll be there for you!"

"If? Why if? Why do you say if? Won't you be coming to the World Meeting?"

"Not my Admin's story," Bolivia said, shrugging nonchalantly.

"I...I give up on understanding the world."

"AM I THE ONLY OC EVER THAT'S AWARE OF MY ADMIN?!" Bolivia yelled at the sky.

I just have to teleport in now. "Yeah, pretty much. I'll wipe your memories if you find out about... _you know_, except under special 'planned' conditions (AHEMAMERICAHUNGARYKOREAJAPANETCAHEM) but I'm too lazy to erase your memories and fix what _SHE_ told you, so enjoy your knowledge in this universe/timeline thingy!" I said. I probably just confused the hell out of a lot of people.

"What. Is. Going. ON?" Canada asked. Apparently, he's one of the people I confused the hell out of.

"NOTHIN'" I said, and teleported out.

"Aww! Wait for me!" and Bolivia gave Canada another kiss on the cheek. "My Admin needs to sleep, and I want to hide under her bed to scare her!"

These are special circumstances. I teleported Bolivia out of Hetalia, promising myself that I'd remember to put her back in first thing in the morning, told her to find America's left nipple, and she'd find her Admin.

America was just about to start his all night gaming extravaganza when he heard a knock at the door.

"Hey, America, which state is your left nipple?"

America shut the door and convinced himself he had been dreaming.

* * *

Man, I'm pretty proud of that last part.


	90. Lithuania Meets Some States

So a guest wanted to see this happen.

I made it happen.

* * *

"So you're going to be living with me for now? That's just the bees knees," America said.

"Bees have knees?" Lithuania asked, looking very confused.

"No, it's just an expression. But anyways, WELCOME TO AMERICA!" America yelled, slamming open his front door.

Lithuania thought living with America would be halfway peaceful. He really should have thought that out maybe a second more than he did. But, Lithuania had no idea that there were going to be 49 other people living in the house.

New York was the only one in the room not really involved in something at the moment (He was too busy laughing about the amount of money his stocks were making him) and was the only state who noticed the door opening. "Guys, dad brought home a dame!"

Florida heard this, looked up, saw Lithuania, and stood up ready to strangle both of them before anything could happen between them.

"WAIT! THIS IS LITHUANIA!" America yelled, grabbing Florida's hands and holding her back.

"I DON'T CARE WHO SHE IS-"

"She? I just so happen to be a he!" Lithuania said, looking offended.

"Wha? You're a...Huh?" And Florida was left spluttering by the door.

"That was rude!" Lithuania said, right before being backed up against a wall by two girls each holding a cup with mysterious brown liquid inside.

"Which is better?" They asked simultaneously.

"OH, APPLESAUCE!" Texas exclaimed, changing to human. "Stay right here, Lithy, I'll be right back with the best choice!" And Texas ran off.

"TEXAS, NO!" America turned to run after Texas, but realized it was a lost cause, and turned back to Lithuania, who was in the process of believing that he was about to be poisoned. "Girls, couldn't you at least let Lithuania get used to the balled up atmosphere before you force soda down his throat?"

"No," they said, handing the cups to Lithuania.

"Well," Lithuania said, trying both, "One's definitely sweeter than the other."

NC shot Georgia a smug look.

"But," Lithuania continued.

Georgia returned the smug look.

"I think I like them equally."

NC and Georgia made a sound of extreme frustration, and started to argue as they walked away.

"WAIT, GEORGIA!" America yelled. Georgia turned, and America grabbed her arm. "Thanks, I need glasses."

"No! I have things to do!"

"Like what?"

"Um..."

"So... You'll be my glasses or I won't save you from mustard gas next time?"

"You're suicidal!" Georgia said, changing into glasses.

"I get results!" America said, putting on the Georgia-glasses.

"Why do you assume there's going to be a next time?" Lithuania asked.

"'Cause winning wars is really fun. And I've never lost, and I never will!"

* * *

~50 Years Later~

"Retreating isn't losing!" America argued.

"And night is when the sun is out," Britain responded.

"Dude, don't be stupid."


	91. I Warned You, Canada

"Who is this?" I said teleporting into a World Meeting and walking over to Canada's empty chair. *sigh* He's making himself invisible again...

Wait.

He's seriously not there!

"WHERE'S CANADA?" I yelled. This was met by many "who?"s and confused looks. "Alright," I said very annoyed, and teleported strait to Canada's house.

* * *

"SUP SCRUB, I WARNED YOU!"

And then Canada emerged from a nearby door wielding a hockey stick whilst riding a full fucking grown polar bear and then an army of moose and Canadian geese busted down the wall behind him. _Motherfucker_.

"So...Kumajiro grew up?" I asked, slowly backing up. (What, you think I'm gonna fight a polar bear? I'm stupid, but not that stupid.)

"Who?" Canada asked. "No, I found this guy in the Northwest Territories. So now, if you would kindly leave, I believe I sufficiently prevented whatever you call it from happening to me."

"Yeah, I guess I don't feel like dying today...I guess you don't feel like being noticed either! Bye!" I said, and reached for my new ultra pocket teleporter legit remote ultra portable MLG.

"WAIT!" Canada Canadian-yelled. Gotcha. "I want to be noticed!"

"Then get off the bear."

Canada slid off the bear.

"Drop the hockey stick."

The stick clattered to the ground.

"HUGS!" I said, glomping Canada and pressing the teleport button on my remote teleporter.

* * *

"Who is this?" I said, asking the whole room and pointing to Canada, who was the most visible country in the world for once.

When nobody answered I spoke again. "WHO IS THIS?"

"Didn't you already do America?" Britain asked.

"Dude, I'm right here!" America said.

"Oh, bitch you did not just say that," I said, walking to Britain, "That is CANADA motherfucker and you better learn that shit, 'cause you fucking raised the mofo."

"I RAISED HIM BETTER!" France declared.

"NOT FOR VERY LONG!" Britain fired back.

"You want BEARS? MOOSE? MARY JANE? Hell yeah, you do, and Canada's got all that shit for you."

I walked over to Bolivia, who was giggling minorly. "You wanna marry your lesbian lover Genovia? Well fuck yes, Canada is all up on that shit and you guys can have a threesome!"

And let's take a moment to add Bolivia, Genovia, and quite possibly Canada to the Great List of People Who Want to Kill Me.

"I mean seriously, where else can you get gay married and toke up and get mauled by a bear all in one day? FUCK YEAH, CANADA!" I said.

Canada was probably really regretting being noticed.

"Now, Britain, I know you better not be thinking of America anymore because that COCKFACE ain't got nothing on this magnificent iron-fisted motherfucker!"

"Cockface!" America yelled in protest.

"Exactly," I said, turning to America. "This smooth fuck didn't need no war for independence, all he did was look Britain in the eye and be like "I'm outtie, BITCH," cause in Canada, shit gets DONE."

"And my dear readers, I'm not going to say the next part, because it is inaccurate as taught by the American school system(which is a joke), that episode of Hetalia, and some thing I saw on the History Channel." But if you really wanted to know, the line said that the Canadians burned down the White House. I do believe that was the British being all like "THX C4N4D4 4 D4 W4R H31P" and then White House goes bye-bye. America needs to get beat up every century or so or else he becomes too cocky and tries to dominate the world with Democracy, or get into a war with Britain, who at the time has about 100X the navy and army strength.

"BITCHES DON'T MESS WITH THIS MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled, and immediately teleported away.

I think Canada regrets being noticed.


	92. Congress Forgot About Ohio

Well, it seems no one else ships America and Canada's Grandma.

Also, this is a true thing.

* * *

~1953~

"Ohio, come here for a second," America said.

And Ohio did the walk of shame as every other state within earshot went "OOOOOOHHHHH!" (You ever taken the walk of shame? Well, it's funny when it's someone else.)

America took him to some secure location(an empty hallway), and told him the bad news. "So... Funny story, uhmmm... Congress never actually voted on you being admitted to the Union...so basically, you're not a state."

Ohio was expecting a tell-off for somehow setting the bathtub on fire earlier, but now he was standing in stunned silence.

"So we're gonna fix that."

"..."

"Ohio? Ohio, you OK?"

"..."

"QUICK DON'T SAY ANYTHING IF YOU'RE A SOVIET SPY!"

Ohio passed out.

* * *

When Ohio woke up, he noticed that he was in what seemingly looked like a prison cell.

"Sorry, but you're a spy." America said.

"I AM NOT! I'M OHIO, 17TH STATE, AND FIRST IN FLIGHT!"

"Yeah, no record of a state called Ohio, and I do recall that North Carolina is first in flight."

"I hate you so much."


	93. Italy's Love Confession to Germany

So Germany checked his voicemail.

_"Germany? It's Italy. I just got out of the shower; I thought you might have called... OK! Talk to you later! Bye~"_

BEEP

"How many today?" Prussia asked, walking into the room.

"546. So far only 539 have been from Italy," Germany replied.

"Wow, slow day. You think he's sick or something?"

"Well, it is only 5:30"

_"Hey, Germany. I just went into the other room and I thought I heard my phone ring. I guess not! Call me back when you get a chance! Ok, bye!"_

"1000 Euros that the next one has something about food," Prussia challenged.

"I don't take bets I know I'll lose."

BEEP

_"Hey Germany! It's been a couple minutes. I thought you might have checked your phone now. Ok, well, this is going to be a LITTLE bit awkward but... I love you._"

Germany started very frantically looking for the off switch-thingy and Prussia started laughing.

_"I want to make a pasta shaped like your anatomy."_

Germany punched the poor phone in attempt to get the voicemail to stop. His hand broke. The phone survived.

_"It's a BIIIG pasta!"_

Germany gave up and threw the phone through a wall. Prussia was unable to breathe due to laughter.

_"OK, CALL ME BACK~"_

Poor Germany just wanted that phone to stop being a phone, and pulled out a gun and shot the mess out of it.

Prussia walked over and picked up the mangled remains of the phone. _"OH NO! I don't know which button to press! GOODBYE GERMANY!"_

"And that, West," Prussia said, "Is the power of German engineering."

* * *

Well, I missed yesterday due to being lazy and other stuff, but it's ok now that the really hardcore part of marching band is over, and it's only two days a week now.

If you didn't know, this has audio from Italy's Love Confession to Germany, a video that can be found quite easily with youtube.

And Obviously Me gets a shoutout for a giant review. NC is not America's left nipple. 49 more tries. I really don't feel like a full response to you.

I don't know how to end this, so I will right now.


	94. Medals

Somehow, at a World Meeting, everyone started talking about how many Olympic Medals they had.

"Everyone can shut up now, 2653 medals over here," America said.

"Stop bragging!" Britain said.

"AT LEAST YOU HAVE A MEDAL!" Seychelles yelled back.

72 yells of "YEAH!" were all that was needed to make both America and Britain shut up.

They did not feel like a war against 73 nations.

"Well, comrades, I will destroy all of you in two years!" Russia said.

Everyone mentally thought out where the next Olympics would be, and freaked out.

* * *

...I'm sorry. I can't think of ANYTHING right now. Chapter 100 took all my cool ideas. It's going to be over 35 pages long. Be excited.


	95. When Austria Hits a Wrong Note

When Austria hits a wrong note on the piano, he will get a flamethrower.

When Austria gets a flamethrower, he burns his piano.

When Austria burns his piano, he accidentally sets his house on fire.

When Austria accidentally sets his house on fire, he has to call the fire department.

When Austria has to call the fire department, they have to put his house out before literally the whole country sets on fire.

When the fire department has to put Austria's house out, they wonder why they have to come out to the same place every week.

When they wonder why they have to the same place every week, the Austrian Federal President has to pay them not to speak about how quickly the house rebuilds.

When the AFP has to pay the fire department not to speak of the strange house, Austria gets scolded for setting his house on fire.

When Austria gets scolded for setting his house on fire, he tells the AFP that everything would have been fine if he had a proper piano.

When Austria tells the AFP that everything would have been fine if he had a proper piano, the AFP buys Austria the best piano in the world.

When the AFP buys Austria the best piano in the world, Austria plays the piano.

When Austria plays the piano, sometimes he hits a wrong note.

When Austria hits a wrong note, he will get a flamethrower.

* * *

Who else has read the "If You Give a Mouse A" books? Well, boom.


	96. Maryland Hates His Name

I remember the first time I saw Gangnam Style, it had about 200,000 views. I think that technically qualifies me to be a hipster.

And I'm probably going to apply to be a foreign exchange , if your family is a host family, or if you're an exchange student yourself, why not tell me a bit about it and the pros and cons?

Also turns out that the city I live in is safer than a whopping 2% of American cities.(No, I didn't forget a 0, it's really 2%, like the milk) I need to get the fuck out of here before I get shot. All we need are some riots to set off the Detroit here.

Oh yeah, and Snow and Night the sisters wanted a chapter on either Maryland or Germany. I seriously considered making them have a relationship.

* * *

Maryland hates his name.

A boy with the name Mary.

As such, he has tried to change it multiple times.

1. Martyland

2. Mauriceland

3. Ihaveadickland

4. Xyland (Get it, 'cause X and Y chromosomes?)

5. Maleland

6. Notagirlland

7. Ihateyouallland

Those are some of his better ones.

But no matter how many times he sneaks a name-changing bill on the President's desk in hope that he will sign it without reading it, Maryland is stuck as Maryland.

The happiest place on Earth. (Get it, 'cause Mary, like Merry?...)

* * *

Well, there's your Maryland chapter. I'm so sorry. I promise I'll make it up to everyone reading this tomorrow.


	97. American Idiot

Well, I made up for yesterday's poopy chapter with this and a new story. You're welcome.

And I just watched Les Parapluies de Cherbourg. It was freaking amazing, even though I missed the first 20 minutes and had to deal with people talking while I was watching it. Something I learned from the movie: knocked up was considered dirty language in France in the 50s. Also, there was nearly a war in my house arguing over which war Guy was going off to. Turns out it was the Algerian War of Independence. No one was right.

* * *

America was late to a World meeting.

He was not particularly fond of being late, although he had never been late before.

The reason America and every other country hated being late: The Punishment Game.

The last Punishment Game had been for Denmark, who had to eat a whole tin of Surströmming on Sweden's suggestion in 2007. It was a very messy day.

America's plan was to sneak in without being noticed. He very quietly opened the door, and tried to slip into his seat. He Ninja'd his way to his seat, and sat down like he had been there the whole time, then music started to play.

_No, they wouldn't, _ America thought.

"Don't wanna be an American idiot!" Russia belted out.

"Don't want a nation under the new media!" Finland sang. (Fun Fact: Finland has the most press freedom out of any country, according to Reporters Without Borders.)

Well, America had to sit and take it, or else he would have to be locked in a room for an hour with his worst enemy. (As was the case with Brazil, 1953, SK, 1981, and Switzerland, 2000.) And he would rather take temporary embarrassment torture than temporary extreme physical pain.

"And can you hear the sounds of hysteria?" Sri Lanka continued.

"The subliminal mind fuck America!" China finished.

"Welcome to a new kind of tension," Cuba sang.

"All across the alien nation," Tony was a very good singer...by alien standards.

"Where everything isn't meant to be ok!" Canada sang.

"Television dreams of tomorrow," DC sang, using his special Teleport to America power that exists solely for plot advancement and now humor and taking all the states with him.

"We're not the ones who're meant to follow," The rest of the states joined in with DC, "Guess that's enough to argue!"

"Well maybe he's the faggot America!" Belarus sang.

"He might be part of a redneck agenda!" Iran continued.

"Now everybody do the propaganda," North Korea sang.

"And sing along to the age of paranoia!" South Korea finished, having just a sliver of cooperation between him and NK.

"Welcome to a new kind of tension," The Middle East sang.

"All across the alien nation," Tony, during the last verse, had used a super-alien teleporter-thingy to go to Area 51 and gather up all the aliens there, who sang in their respective languages, so it kinda sounded like "ajoierrdfkljieowdskl owieoewfh oeifwoeihf oiehfooo" for the nations in attendance.

"Where everything isn't meant to be ok!" Mexico sang.

"Television dreams of tomorrow," All the states and DC sang.

"We're not the ones who're meant to follow," Literally the whole world(minus America) sang, "for that's enough to argue!"

"Don't wanna be an American idiot!" the nations of North and South America sang.

"One nation controlled by the media!" Eurasia sang.

"Information age of hysteria!" Africa and Oceania sang.

"It's going out to idiot America!" The world sang.

"Welcome to a new kind of tension," the Romance countries sang.(Get it, as opposed to sexual tension... Ah, forget it.)

"All across the alien nation," the aliens sang.

"Where everything isn't meant to be ok!" Every country with any type of war going on sang.

"Television dreams of tomorrow," the world sang.

"We're not the ones who're meant to follow," the states sang.

"For that's enough to argue!" the world sang once more, ending the song and America's punishment.

And the world meeting continued where it had left off.

* * *

Crap, I'm 2 minutes late EST.


	98. SC's a Rebel

So I didn't abandon you.(I can't believe I have to type this again! UGGH)

I did a really stupid thing. Well, while I was cutting tomatoes, and I'm like 'this knife isn't sharp enough.' So I turn to mom and I'm like "Hey, mom, this knife isn't sharp enough." And then for emphasis, I place the sharp side of the knife on my fingertips and press. Well, it was fucking sharp enough. That's also the second time I've done that. Literally the exact same thing, just different places, and last time I was telling my cousin it was ok that I pretended to stab him with a knife because it didn't even slice tomatoes right, emphatic press on fingertips, and boom, blood.(Ok, maybe not the _exact_ same thing.) But yeah, my hand was WIA for a bit.

Well, now that that's been typed, a bit more on SK! In Chapter 100, we are going to have 8 countries play a game of Civilizations 5 Brave New World, and I want to know whom everyone wants for the 8th country!(Oh yeah, Civ5 is a game about...kinda...I don't really know how to describe it. But it's awesome.) A bit back, I wanted to write a chapter about Civ5 G+K, and I made SK the 8th player, along with America, Russia, France, England, Japan, China, and Germany. I got about 10 pages in, and realized I was only about a third of the way done, and I decided to save it for Chapter 100. Then BNW came out and added Venice as a civ, so I'm like 'Hey, now Italy can play!' But that would mean kicking SK out.

So, who wants an Italy, and who wants a SK? Either PM me or leave a review! The thing closes on the 25th, and Chapter 100's gonna be delayed until a few days later. Man, this was a long intro...

* * *

"Forget everyone here; I'm making my own country." And SC stormed away.

By the way, this isn't about the Civil War. SC's just that rebellious.

"Hey, wait!" America yelled, running after SC. "I know Britain's being a real meanie-pants, but are you sure you don't want to wait a few more months for independence?"

"I'm sure!" SC said, still stomping off, which was really adorable, 'cause he was like 7 at the time. And really angry stompy 7-year-olds are cute as mess. "You idiots are too slow! I'm not no colony no more! I'M THE REPUBLIC OF ME!" and he slammed the door in America's face.

* * *

"So Britain's here?" RSC asked. (RSC stands for Republic of South Carolina, if you didn't figure that out.)

"Yes," the president said. (Forgive me, I can't find the name of the president of the RSC anywhere. But there was a president elected and stuff.)

"Not in a friendly way?"

"No."

RSC cracked his knuckles. "Let's do this."

* * *

"IN YOUR FACE! IN YOUR FACE! WHAT THEN!" RSC was yelling as the British navy retreated. "I AM INDEPENDENT FROM YOU AND YOUR EYEBROWS!"

He had a serious reason to be yelling at the fleet. The cannonballs they had fired at the Charleston fort bounced off.

"Someone hand me a telescope," RSC said. "HAH! LOOK AT HOW MAD BRITAIN LOOKS! THAT'S RIGHT! RUN AWAY YOU LITTLE WEAKLING!"

And now you know why there's a tree on SC's flag.

* * *

I _may_ have gotten a bit lazy at the end, but hey, it's a chapter. And it's all I could do what with so little being written on this little revolution before the Revolution.

Don't forget to vote! On who you want to play Civ5, I mean. Can you believe they're already talking about presidential candidates? It's like 3 years away!


	99. The Untangling Adventures of Germany

_**Hey, don't forget to vote on either SK or Italy!**_

_***Evil Voice* I know none of you did...**_

And I figured out why Americans are fat! It's because parents guilt you by saying "There's some starving kid in Africa that would love even a crumb of that, NOW FINISH YOUR FOOD!" This was used on me exactly once. I responded by saying that we weren't helping Africans by eating food we didn't want. I was a freaking smart 4-year-old.(Then it kinda went downhill... You see where I am now. Writing AWESOME fanfic and wasting time.)

So the reason Americans are fat is because people are starving. Y'know, I'm just going to take logic and throw it out of this window...

ONE LAST THING! When I take English next semester, I'm going to write only in British English, and when(if) my teacher says something, I'll say that it's proper, and refuse to stop speaking in a British accent and complaining about how Americans slaughtered the English language. Ok, raise your hand if you think I'm going to get detention. *Every hand goes up*

* * *

So remember that time the Italys got their curls stuck together?

Well, it happened again.

"GERMANY! HELP GERMANY! IT'S SO TIGHT AND IT WON'T BUDGE!"

"SHUT UP, VENEZIANO! Here, just turn this way, AHHHHH! CAZZO!"

"GERMANY! HELP US!"

"PUT THE DAMN PHONE DOWN!"

Germany decided against his better judgement to go once again to the Italians' house, hoping that it would be more than hair this time.

When he got there, he realized that he had been severely retarded to think for even a second that something else would be going on.

"How does this even happen twice?"

* * *

A few weeks later, he got another call from our dear Italians.

"GERMANY! WE REEEEAAAALLLLY NEED HELP!"

"NEIN!" Germany yelled into the phone, cutting off anything that was about to be said. "I HAVE ALREADY UNTANGLED YOUR HAIR TWICE! JUST GET A BRUSH OR SOMETHING!"

"Germany?"

"Potato bastard?"

"Be quiet we need help!"

"What!?"

"Well... It isn't hair this time."

Germany's jaw dropped.

"And, well, it's really stuck..."

Germany heard no more before he dropped the phone and ran to Italy's, nearly getting murdered by Switzerland along the way.

"I'M HERE!" He yelled, breaking down the front door.

"Oh thank goodness!" Italy came running down to greet him, holding a jar in his hands.. "We need you to open this jar of mayonnaise."


End file.
